Starting Over…. Years ago, there existed a website. It was not a particularly great website. In fact, many would say that it was a lackluster website. The owner of the website certainly did. It existed mainly to fill empty hours of free time that would have been better spent developing social skills/exercising/studying/doing anything else. This website talked about a lot of useless things, such as video games and the owner’s cruddy life, and as such, was like approx. every other website in existence, just without the porn. And then, one day, as all websites eventually do, this particular website faded away…..
No one really noticed, not even the owner, till one day he, on a whim, he decided to see what became of the website in question…
www.shadowcaster13.com.... www.shadowcaster13.com.... Are you there…??
He waited for a response, until finally; a booming voice came from the heavens, in a font that shook the computer’s motherboard to the core….
URL NOT FOUND!!!!!
The little website that couldn’t was no more….
The owner logged on to his account to see if anything, even the ashes, could be salvaged. However, all he found was that Geocities, an impatient and angry god, had blinked the website out of existence. All was no more….
There was much howling and gnashing of teeth done by the owner, much to the concern of his family, who quite helpfully informed the owner that “They were trying to watch a movie!” so if he could “Please shut the hell up!” they would “Appreciate it, Dipshit.”
After which, there was silence….
One day, long after this incident, the owner decided, again on a whim, to resurrect the website again, as would accord with the prophecies located within the Apophretic Book CXL John, verse 3:33 –
“And when, after three years, or somewhere close to that point, some dude will bring about the resurrection of some website, which may or may not have something to do with videogames and his, or it may be her, crappy life. Forthwith, the nations of the world will cry out, and there will be much gnashing of teeth. Maybe. Oh, and Hallelluah!”
A Prophecy come true? A strange coincidence? The coming of the Apocalypse? We may never know….
And so, armed with only fleeting memories of the past website, all it’s content being lost in the garbage sweep of the delete button, the owner pressed on, to try to re-do all he had done in his past. At the very least, he was armed with one potent weapon…
“It can’t turn out any worse than the original….”
This would be his battle cry for years to come….