Presented for everyone's review.  A serious thief kit with the 

potential for a bit of comic relief.  ;-)

Jim Gitzlaff  /


New Thief Kit

"The Clod"

DESCRIPTION:  Members of this kit are not part of a "group" in any 

normal sense.  Some individuals are unusually strong and stupid.  

They blunder around life, taking things when they need them.  Their 

thief abilities are significantly modified in form, though not in 

result.  This character is a sort of "duh, gee George, sure I canna 

open da puny little box for ya" type.  They are invariably large and 

overweight for their race.  

ABILITY REQUIREMENTS:  Strength must be at least 15, Dexterity must 

be no GREATER than 16, and both Intelligence and Wisdom must be less 

than 11.  Members of this kit are permitted extraordinary strength up 

to 18/50 (roll d%; on a 01-50, STR = 18; on a 51-00, STR = 18/01-50).

ROLE:  See description.  Imagine a cross between the Abominable 

Snowman from the old Warner Brothers Bugs Bunny/Daffy duck cartoon 

and the classic thief.

WEAPON PROFICIENCIES:  These thieves can use any inelegant weapon.  

Mostly this means clubs, saps, punching, wrestling, axes, etc.  No 

rapiers, bows, martial arts, etc.  They may specialize in punching 

and wrestling (only).

NONWEAPON PROFICIENCIES:  The whole point of this kit is rather 

antithetical to being highly skilled.  No bonus or required 

proficiencies.  All proficiencies for which Intelligence is the 

relevant ability cost an ADDED penalty of one slot.

MODIFICATION TO THIEF ABILITIES:  Members of this kit lose some 

abilities outright, gain a few in exchange, and have the rest altered 

noticeably.  They lose the ability to Find Traps, Move Silently, Hide 

in Shadows, Detect Noise, Climb Walls, and Read Languages totally.  

The following abilities are changed:

     PICK POCKETS:  This ability is no longer the sly purloining of 

       coins or pouches from an unknowing victim.  Instead, it 

       represents an irresistible "grabbing" of the object.  Its 

       chance of success is the same as for the normal ability, but 

       there are some differences.  First, whether successful or not 

       the attempt is totally obvious.  Unless dead, the target will 

       notice.  If the thief tries to "pick" a pouch hanging from the 

       victim's belt, success means that the whole pouch was ripped 

       off, the attaching thongs torn.  If the thief tries for 

       something in a pocket, he shoves a big meaty hand inside and 

       grabs everything he can, most likely tearing the pocket off in 

       the bargain.  Ability modifiers:  (STR, not DEX, applies)

           STR SCORE:     MODIFIER:    RACE:      MODIFIER:

              15             0         Human         0

              16             0         Gnome         -5%

              17             +5%       Halfling      -5%

              18             +10%      Dwarf         0

              18/01-50       +15%

       If the victim is holding the item to be "picked," the

       following modifiers apply:  Strength of opponent = same 

       penalty as the thief would get as a bonus, above; Held with 

       two hands = -15%.  If the held object is a weapon, the victim 

       gets a free attack against the thief.  If that attack hits, 

       the "pick" attempt automatically fails.

     OPEN LOCKS:  This skill is simply the opening of locked objects 

       through the creative use of force.  Special tools are normally 

       required to open locks effectively.  Members of this kit don't 

       use any of those wimpy-ass girlie-tools that normal thieves 

       do, though.  Crowbars, sledgehammers, big rocks, and spiked 

       clubs are frequently used.  This method has advantages and 

       disadvantages over the normal method.  Normal traps like 

       poisoned needles in locks and contact poison just don't do 

       anything to the thief, obviously.  Moreover, an attempt takes 

       a mere round (spent smashing, prying, and gouging the 

       offending closure).  The problem is that most objects are too, 

       er, delicate to handle this sort of treatment.  Generally, if 

       the DM thinks the locked object (or its contents, if a chest 

       or box) is liable to be broken by the mistreatment of the 

       lock, s/he should have it save versus the blow.  Strong items 

       like solid steel doors need not save at all.  Large chests and 

       strong wood doors might save vs. normal blow, perhaps at a 

       bonus.  Ivory coffers and crystal boxes would need to save vs. 

       crushing blow at a penalty.  Noise is also a drawback of this 

       method.  Ability modifiers (relevant ability is STR):

           STR SCORE:     MODIFIER:    RACE:      MODIFIER:

              15             0         Human         0

              16             +5%       Gnome         0

              17             +10%      Halfling      0

              18             +15%      Dwarf         +5%

              18/01-50       +20%

       With normal lock picking, the DM can assign bonuses or 

       penalties depending on the quality of the lock.  The same may 

       be done here.  The thief may try again to open a lock on a 

       later round (if the noise doesn't attract someone before then, 

       or the punishment break the closure outright, making it moot) 

       at a cumulative penalty of -10% per round.  (The damage tends 

       to jam & fuse the lock in place.)

     REMOVE TRAPS:  Not dissimilar to Open Locks.  These thieves 

       couldn't FIND a trap on their own if their life depended on 

       it.  But if a friend points one out, the thief can "remove" it 

       quite effectively.  The technique is essentially that of 

       catastrophically setting it off.  As above, a few "tools" are 

       needed.  If the roll is successful, the thief sets the trap 

       off, causing it to fail/jam/whatever.  The thief NEVER takes 

       damage from the trap if his roll is successful; if damage 

       would normally be unavoidable, the result for the thief should 

       be mostly cosmetic (e.g. if a fireball is set off in the room, 

       the thief should lose one to three hit points and have his 

       face and body comically blackened).  Other party members need 

       by no means get off this easily.  If they happen to be 

       standing in the wrong place when the trap is set off, too bad 

       for them.  This skill applies both for mechanical and magical 

       traps, though magical traps cause a -10% penalty to the roll.  

       There are no ability modifiers for this skill.  Failure sets 

       the trap off automatically; and, if the thief CAN be affected 

       by it, he automatically is.

New Thief Abilities:

     MOVE UNSTOPPABLY:  As was mentioned earlier, every member of 

       this kit is large and overweight.  These thieves possess an 

       uncanny skill to barge through obstacles with little or no 

       harm to themselves.  This skill is usually invoked either (1) 

       while frantically making for the exit or (2) while mindlessly 

       trying to get hold of something interesting.  If used 

       successfully, intervening objects will be knocked over, 

       spilled, scattered, stomped on, jostled, or otherwise 

       disturbed in the most chaotic, noisy way possible.  There are 

       four basic types of obstacle this thief needs to worry about:

       (1) "Huh?  Did I hit something?"  A single chair.  A shorter 

         humanoid.  Something minor like that.  +10%.

       (2) "Oooff!"  A dining room set.  A few people gossiping in a 

         group.  A bunch or barrels.  A single much bigger humanoid.

         A short picket fence.  A thick hedge.  +/- 0%.

       (3) "Oww!"  A plaster wall.  A small group of militiamen.  A 

         big fence.  -20%.

       (4) "...."  A stone wall.  A bunch of nasty dudes bigger than 

         the thief.  A Blade Barrier spell.  The roll cannot succeed 

         unless the thief has funny magical stuff to allow it.

       The thief moves at full normal movement through the area for 

       up to a round or until the DM deems that he must stop or roll 

       again.  The path behind the thief is open for other party 

       members to use.  If the thief attempts to Move Unstoppably 

       through one or more armed entities, that's OK.  If he 

       succeeds, the victims must each save vs. DEX or fall to the 

       ground.  Even if they retain their footing, they attack and 

       defend at -2 for 1-6 segments.  If he fails, each of the 

       intended victims can attack the thief as he passes.

           STR SCORE:     MODIFIER:    RACE:      MODIFIER:

              15             0         Human         0

              16             0         Gnome         -20%

              17             +5%       Halfling      -25%

              18             +10%      Dwarf         -10%

              18/01-50       +15%

     THUMP:  Thieves of this kit do not get the "backstab" ability 

       per se.  Instead, they gain the ability to "thump" a surprised 

       opponent on the noggin.  The thief may use any proficient 

       blunt weapon.  If the victim is wearing armor, s/he is assumed 

       to be wearing a helmet unless there is some reason to think 

       otherwise.  A "thump" will be only a normal called shot to the 

       head if the opponent is not surprised.  Modifiers:

         Thief is 1 foot or more taller than victim:   +1 to hit

         Thief is 1 foot or more shorter than victim:  -1 to hit

         AC, helmet worn:  normal AC of opponent

         AC, no helmet:  AC = 8 (modified by magic but not DEX since 

           the opponent is by definition surprised)

         Plus all normal bonuses for attacking from behind, etc., if 


       A successful hit does normal damage PLUS:

         At levels 1-4:   double this amount as temporary damage

         At levels 5-8:   x3 as temporary damage

         At levels 9-12:  x4 as temporary damage

         At levels 13+:   x5 as temporary damage

       This temporary damage wears off normally.  Note also that all 

       this damage goes to the head if you are using the optional 

       "stunned" and "useless" table from the Complete Fighter's 


Thieving Skill Base Scores:

   SKILL:              BASE SCORE:

   Pick Pockets           25%

   Open Locks             15%

   Remove Traps           10%

   Move Unstoppably       10%

At level one the thief gets 40 discretionary points.  Every level 

thereafter he gets 20.  No ability may be raised above 95%.  

SPECIAL BENEFITS:  In order to live long enough to reach adulthood, 

all people as dorky as those in this kit have to have a sizeable 

stock of luck.  This may be handled in two ways.  

     (1) Every time the thief sets off some kind of disaster by using 

one of his 4 special skills (not thump) and would be imperiled in 

some way not previously mentioned, he can attempt a saving throw vs. 

breath weapon.  Success means that he avoids danger is some comical, 

near-miraculous way.

     (2) The other way is for the DM to decide when the PC/NPC has 

acted particularly true to his kit & that it would be good for 

morale/comedic relief/encouragement to allow the player a save as 

above to avoid danger.

SPECIAL HINDRANCES:  Duh, need one comment on this?  They are 

constantly blundering into dangerous situations and relying on the 

cleverness of friends.  They are slow and dimwitted, with all the 

disadvantages that normally accompany that failing.

RACES:  Most thieves in this kit are human, though other races are 

represented.  Elves may not participate in this kit.  Interestingly, 

NPC giants, trolls, and other large humanoid groups have few thieves 

NOT members of this kit.


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