I am so angry right now! I want to ram my head into a wall a dozen and a half times!! Things just aren't going my way. Joe doesn't want me. I must post his rejection email...it almost sounds as though he is not rejecting me, he does it so eloqeuntly. That makes me even more bitter:

Well, you do have eyes and a smile to kill (presidents) for, and I have thought positively about the prospect of dating a young woman being you, but the answer is "no." Why? Uh... cause I'm still not over my ex (breakups on one's birthday tend to stick in your head like a tee on the green), I'm old, and (this is the big one) I'm not in love. I like relationships to be heaven sent and I'm just not feelin' it. Don't get me wrong, you're fun and I'd like to take you out to a movie, but going out is a big deal to me and stuff. I'm sure I'll see you online soon. Am I a flirt?

keep smilin', joe.


I am crying. Uncontrollably. Why do I have to be so damn lame? Why do I have to think that boy is so cool? He is such a fucking retard! God damnit, just get over that girl already! She doesn't want you and I am neater and I want you so have me! GOD!! I HATE JOE!!!!!!

I quit my job tonight. Now I feel so helpless. I have no other jobs lined up. No other fucking place would ever hire me looking like the freak that I do. I hate myself! I can't stop crying!!!

I don't know where Kum is. She's probably making out with Derrik. She's such a pathetic, lonely soul. I wish I could be half as happy as her sometimes.