The boy that destroys me is my only salvation (ha, a bit melodramatic am I). Joe said to me tonight "I seek refuge in corners because that's where things meet.."
There's something undeniably wonderful about his friendship. I have only Leslie to count on really, and I know she is there no matter what. But maybe now I will have Joe too. He actually supplied his phone number without me asking, without me even hinting. I will never call him, but I found is such a heartening gesture that I cried. He actually encouraged me to tell him things...about my problems. He told me it was no bother at all. I felt relieved that he would volunteer to be my friend. Chris volunteered yesterday for that position, but Joe seems more sincere. Chris put conditions on his "When I get mah car back, we can be friends." Kum is too engrossed in her life to care about mine...selfish whore.
A whole gaggle of us ate dinner together tonight...how awkward. I attempted to speak to Kum, but she coldly answered me "yes" or "no". I have no qualms about not being her friend. I mean it hurts a bit, but I hate her. She makes me feel like absolute shit all the time.
People keep complimenting me on my homepage and how 'interesting' it is. This is my fucking life! You live it and tell me how interesting it is...no, I think you'll see how pathetic and loserish it is. Yes indeed.
I want to meet a boy just like Driskoll. He lives so very far away, in Texas. I am actually pondering whether or not I should apply to college there. I barely know him, but I think he is so neat. Texas would be so different from anything I have experienced. God. I think I am going completely mad.
I love my face. I can't stop looking at it. And I know my mom is so angry about my piercings, but I can't help but want more. In January or February I am gonna get my navel pierced, then maybe in April or so I will get a tattoo...maybe. Then over the summer I am going to get my scrumper pierced, then for my 18th birthday I will get my nipples pierced. Oh yes, and shave my head of course. I can't wait to have that liberated feeling of no hair. I am on the verge of doing it now. I dunno. I am kind of tired of hearing crap from people, so I might just end the freakiness at the point I am at for my high school days.
I wanna taste the salt of *someone's* skin.....(Got 3rd Eye Blind for a Xmas present)...Perry gave me a shirt that says "I'm thinking the same thin about you!" and a book of poetry by Jewel. I thought it was the awesomest.