Today was such a brilliant day...you know when everything just goes your. But then, of course, I had to fuck myself over. I am not able to hide my emotions. I don't even try. And sometimes I really should.

Robin and I had "the talk"...the one about where things are going. I am usually excited to have this talk, because I usually like what I hear. But no. Not this time. Couldn't be. Cuz everything had been going to great, something had to happen to ruin it. That's just my life. Murphy's Law.

She said we're friends. And I am thinking: "What the fucking hell have I been doing talking to you for hours on end every single day, buying you a birthday present, talking about you constantly to my friends, if you're my fucking friend?!? Did I miss something? Damn, I must be the fucking slowest person alive!" But I say, "Yes, I agree." Yes, trample all over me. You say you're used to being a doormat, well please allow me to be your's (bitch). GRRRRRR!!!! RAAAAAAHHHH!!!! And other sounds of frustration/annoyance.

So, I pouted. I am keeping her present for myself. It's really nice too. God damnit. She would have liked it. But I have to flip out and be a mega bitch as usual just cuz she says something I don't want to hear. But really, she lead me on. She did. And I hate her for that. People tend to toy with me a lot. Well, no fucking more. I am going to be the biggest bitch alive from now on. No one's going to even want to come near me. I am sick and tired of being shocked by people. Well fuck you. Fuck every single male or female that has hurt me intentionally or unintentionally. I have no use for you. None. Nada. So fuck off!!

My mom won't give me my scarf. Fuck her too!