Cow Thoughts

Preface:     As the almighty Despotic Cow, I see and encounter many things in my daily life.  I will use this page so others can see the amizingly complex life of a cow.  Most think that cows only sit in fields all day chewing on grass, but after seeing all that is involved in the life of a cow, you will think differently.

Nov 27:  Today I sat out in my pasture and ate some grass.  It was very good grass, much better than the crappy brown stuff that I had been eating a lot of lately.  I looked into the farmers house and saw him eating my friend Gobbler, the turkey.  How disgusting!  I cant even imagine eating certain kinds of plants, but a fellow farm animal, uggh...

Nov 30:  Today was really boring...  the only highlight of my day was when a pig escaped from it's pen and ran into my field.  I was forced to eat it.  Mmmmm....  pig is yummy.  Ive been planning to run away from my farm lately, and i am almost ready to now.  Im hoping to be able to make it to mexico where i will be able to roam free through out the country.

Nov 31:  I tried to escape from the farm today.  I ran into the fence, kicked over a pile of hay and bolted down the road at full speed.  I was running so fast from the farmer that i must have covered 5k in under 16:00.  I thought I had made it, but then the farmer got his pick-up truck and caught up to me.  I was so damn tired i couldnt even put up a fight.  I wonder whats out there beyond the hills.  One day i am going to find out...

Dec 2:  Interesting...   I have just discovered how to unfasten my bell. Maybe now i will be able to sneak into the barn at night and take the good hay.  I cant get over how great it is not being heard wherever i go, i can do pretty much anything i want to at night.  The farmer wont be happy once he sees what im gonna do to his tractor

Dec 11:  IT has been quite awhile since i last entered my daily report here, but i have been gone.  I went on a trip to "bovine university" .  this is where cows go through the difficult and challenging process of becoming a hamburger.  Yes... a slaughterhouse.  I was loaded into a truck one day, little was it to my knowledge where i was heading.  After a very scenic trip through the countryside, we came to the place.  It was surrounded by a chain fence with barbed wire along the top.  Inside of a designated cow pen, i could see all the cows clawing at the ground trying to dig under.  Charred cow bodies lay along the fence, which i could assume was electrified.  I heard moos of terror rising out of the large windowless building on the other side of the compound.  I was startled as a large angus cow ran up pounding on the side of my truck mooing "Run for your life!!!"    I attempted to kick out the back of the truck but it was a failure.  I just wound up straining my legs.  I was then unloaded into a pen titled  " Fresh Grade A Arrivals."   We were packed  tighlty into a pen. then the pen began closing in on us, and a gate leading to a conveyor belt was opened.  The other cows began filing up the conveyor belt and i was forced along with the herd.  It brought us into the windowless building where a robotic arm was injecting a large needle into each cow.  Once injected, each cow dropped dead.  As I saw this i mooed with terror!  I kicked over the robot and 40 gallons of fuel spilled over the floor.  Then a big fat guy with a gun began chasing after me.  I dodged the bulllets like Neo in "the Matrix"  and then headbutted the gaurd.  I busted through the wa;; with all my strength and lept 25 feet over the electric fence.  I was free!  I kept on running into the woods until they gave up on me.  Then i looked back to see all the cows in the compound rioting and the large building was on fire.  I was a hero that day...  for i have been chosen by the cow gods...

Dec 13:  To day i am really pissed off at everyone ( Plus, i dont have much time to type anything), icluding you, bitch...  So just leave me alone, eat shit and die...

Dec 17: Updating this "Cow Thoughts" section grows quite monotonous, especially considering that im not really a cow... too bad... Well, from this point on i wont write in this page anymore, which really doesnt matter because i doubt that anybody looks at this Bye Bye