San Francisco by Night
Emily Dwan
"Darling, give me your absence tonight,
take the shade from the canvas and leave me the white,
let me sink in the silence that echoes inside,
and don't bother leaving the light on.
Cause suddenly I feel like a different person,
from the roots of my soul come a gentle coercion,
And I ran my hand over a strange inversion.
A vacancy that just did not belong.
The child is gone"
~ Hannah's matted, cocoa brown hair lay thickly against her skull as her wailing screams
of pain filled the delivery room and Derek gripped his love's hand with the fervor of
anticipation, awaiting the arrival of their blessed first-born. Brought into the cool
breath of life from her mother's warm, wet, womb, Emily's cries pierced the awkward
silence and the faint murmur her father's happiness remains a distant memory.
"Brightwittyprodigya wonder" these words spoken in whispered amazement as Emily
blossomed into beauty and innocence at the mere age of five. Poetry woven and stories
unfolded from the depths of her soul before she learned to ride a two-wheeler. There was
always Rocky Road ice cream, silken ribbons, dodge ball and other simple pleasures that
graced the wonderment of youth. Her mother's caring words and guiding hand was
ever-lasting in comfort for either a scarred knee or emotions stirred. Her handsome father
always held his little girl in strong and loving arms as a voice thick with the color of
whiskey whispered "Emmylittle blossomlittle dream" Cobalt blue eyes shimmered
with adoration.
School days were a blur as Emily advanced laconically through grade school and later
graduated from New York University by the age of seventeen. With a Masters in poetry and
story telling, she quickly became one of the top best sellers in the world. All was
perfect.
Lovers. So many kissed her honey bronze flesh, awakened the silent bird within the nest,
giving it song, giving it flight. So many she could count and all left her hallow, quiet,
and broken. Constantly questioning the gift bestowed upon her by the scholars who roamed
the earth in shadowy light, their souls alive within the silvery blue of her eyes. They
haunted those who entered the chamber of her heart and before long; love fell and came
crashing down like a house of cards.
Pray for peace. Pray for pain. Pray for all the things you cannot say. Pray for simple
dreams and satin sheets. Pray for love and heart felt sympathies.Pray for Saali. "One
little sip is all you need. One taste and I am yours always (or until I can find another
to warm my skin.)"
Bittersweet and addictingSaali. Her name reminded Emily of vengeful
angels falling from heaven to descend upon the earth and fill minds with delusions of love
everlasting. Promises broken like a charred glass vase upon a stained, tiled floor and
flowers withered and old, petals breaking, so fragile and forgotten. The once-clear water,
gray and thick with the scent of stale stems and fungus.
The glorious blaze. Heaven's gate opened to her soul and before she could make the final
step to eternal peace and light, she is sucked like a lemon seed through a plastic straw
and finds herself wrapped in the mouth of her beast, swallowed into a body that is no
longer her own. Her heart, still as a grave stone, life's breath no longer filling her
depths, her mind filled with some ancient hunger, all consuming.
Demons leave blood stained claw marks along the unblemished skin, her soul tightening
beneath her, choked yet death never comes. Never to find peace again. No longer daddy's
"little blossom". The sweet honey of life has grown thick and dark with scarlet,
faces of those killed in her hunger stuck in the memory that flows.
Hope suffocates beneath the shadow of her beauty. Her eyes holding pain that no one
understands. Countless lovers, hoping to find love she once had with Saali. Always
changing yet the hurt never leaves. The pain piercing her heart like a thousand needles
and blood seeps forth from the wound, staining her spirit. "Please make it stopplease
take it all awaylet me be whole again"
He came suddenly without warning. He fell from the stars, Apollo's gift to her. His voice,
so much like her father's, warm with whiskey. Those eyes, frost bitten and igniting the
flame. Haight. Her heart glowed and her spirit began to soar. Her knight had come to save
her from the ominous tower of self-torment, a stallion within his own strength and within
him, she has found what she craves.love eternal. And the pain lingers.
"Darling, give me your absence tonight,
take all of your sympathy and leave it outside,
cause there is no kind of loving that we'll make this alright,
I'm trying to find a place I belong.
Cause suddenly I feel like a different person,
from the roots of my soul come a gentle coercion.
And I ran my hand over a strange inversion,
as the darkness turns into the dawn.
The child is gone."
~Fiona Apple "The child is gone"~
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