Ten Things that Piss me Off
by Adam Sandler
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when i ask where the bathroom is?
2. The Pillsbury DoughBoy is way too happy considering he has no dick.
3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
4. When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Fuck Off! What good is a goddamn cake you cant eat?!
5. When people say "Its always in the last place you look." Of course it is! Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who the fuck are they?
6. When people are watching a movie and say,"Did you see that?" No dicknose, I paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and stare at the fuckin ceiling.
7. The radio ad,"Hi, I'm Jeffry Healy from the Jeffry Healy Band. Dont drink and drive. I Dont" Well I hope you dont drive sober either Mr. Healy, Your blind for god's sake!
8. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didnt really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?!
9. When something is "new and improved" If its new, then there has never been anything there before it. If its improved then there must have been something there before it.
10. When a cop pulls you over and asks if you know how fast you were going. You should know asshole, you fucking pulled me over!