"The Cane"
Transcribed by Anonymous and posted on alt.tv.newsradio. This is one of the funniest episodes of Newsradio. I might take it upon myself to transcribe a few NR eps as well (but don't hold me to that promise!).
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Disclaimer: I do not own this story, the characters in this staory, nor do
I own any rights to the television show "NewsRadio." They were created by
Paul Simms and owned by him, Brillstein-Grey Communications, NBC
Television, and possibly others.
This is not a novelization or a script. It is a straightforward
transcript of the NewsRadio episode "The Cane." It includes brief
descriptions of the settings, actions, emotives and camera movements where
I felt they were needed to convey the spirit of the dialog. I have made
an attempt to transcribe the dialog in this episode as broadcast as
completely and accurately as reasonable.
Season/Episode: 02/09
Production Number: ??
Title: The Cane
Written by: ??
Original Broadcast: 12/12/1995
Jane Lynch as Carol
Danny Passer as Lost Guy
Transcribed from a syndicated rebroadcast by Anonymous.
Transcription version 1.0 (03/31/1999)
Last changed on (03/31/1999) - Final edit before release.
==== TEASER ====
---- The Office ----
[Bill enters the office from the outer corridor. He is walking with a
cane, swinging it and tapping it with florish as he walks past Catherine,
sitting at her desk.]
DAVE: Hey Bill, something wrong with your leg?
BILL: Not that I'm aware of, but thanks for asking.
DAVE: Oh ... Well, if there's nothing wrong with your leg, then ... uh why
the cane?
BILL: Wha?
DAVE: The cane. The walking stick.
BILL: Oh, you mean my cane! Yeah, I picked it up at an antique store
during lunch. They say she's over a hundred years old, hand carved
mahogany with a [taps cane] solid brass tip. What's wrong Dave, don't you
like my cane?
DAVE: Again Bill, why do you _have_ a cane?
BILL: [To Catherine] You like my cane, don't you Catherine?
CATH: It's a cane, Bill. Who cares.
BILL: You see, it's like the old saying, "Everybody loves a cane"
DAVE: No, Bill. I think the old saying is "Everybody loves a clown."
Which is what you look like with that thing.
BILL: Ahh! You're jealous of her, aren't you?
DAVE: No Bill. No, I ... I'm not jealous of her. It's just that it's
such an obvious affectation. I mean, it's just a ... a desperate bid for
attention.
BILL: Maybe, or maybe I just like canes.
DAVE: But, Bill, you're not using the cane for anything. A cane should
have a function.
[A man walks into the office]
DAVE: [To man] Excuse me, can I help you?
MAN : Yeah, I'm looking for uh, Chapman Graphic Arts. Are they on this
floor?
DAVE: Oh, the graphic arts place, yes ...
BILL: [Interrupting] Allow me. [Bill gestures with the cane artistically
for the rest of this paragraph] You my good man are going to get back on
the elevator, go down one floor, step off the elevator turn the left.
[Sing song] Walk down the hallway and the graphic arts shop is one, two,
three, four, five doors down on the right. Just open the door and ...
you're home.
MAN : Thank you!
BILL: Just glad I could be of service.
[The man heads out and Dave heads towards his office. Bill grabs a bagel
and puts it over the end of his cane.]
BILL: Bagel, Dave?
[Bill slings the bagel past Dave and through Dave's office door. Dave
jumps in surprise as it flies past him.]
==== Credits ====
==== Commercial Break ====
---- The Office ----
[Dave is walking out of the break room past Matthew's desk. Joe is
working under Lisa's desk and looks at Matthew askance.]
MATT: [Quietly to Dave] Hey. Psst.
DAVE: Matthew, why are you whispering at me?
MATT: There's something not right between me and Joe. It's like everytime
... everytime he looks at me, he's like zapping me with hate rays or
something. You know it's like. [Points his fingers at Dave] Zap. Zap zap
zap.
DAVE: Really. Zap. Zap zap zap, huh?
MATT/DAVE: Please don't mock ... / I mean it's ... {Hard to hear}
MATT/DAVE: Just ... / Well, it's pretty hard to ... {Hard to hear}
MATT: Watch him, just watch him
DAVE: Ok Matthew, I'll tell you what. I'll go over and I'll talk to Joe
if you promise to get back to work
MATT: Good idea. Go go go.
DAVE: Well, work work work.
DAVE: [Walks over to Joe] Hey Joe.
JOE : Hey, what's up?
DAVE: Is there ... Is there a problem between you and Matthew?
JOE : No, Matthew? Matthew's my buddy. [To Matthew] You're my buddy,
right Matthew?
MATT: Yeah. You wanna go to lunch?
JOE : No. [Sees Dave's reaction] I've gone to lunch every day with him
for the last like five months.
JOE /DAVE: It's just ... / Ok, but ...
DAVE: I Understand. But ... but you don't hate him?
JOE : No! I don't hate him. He just needs to back off for a couple days
and then we'll be cool. [Grabs one end of a wire and heads off towards
the elevator]
DAVE: Well, thanks Joe.
JOE : Alright.
MATT: God! What a relief.
DAVE: Yeah, yeah. He just wants to you to give him some space, that's
all.
MATT: Space? But what's that's supp ... [realizes he's inches from Dave
and backs up]
DAVE: Just leave the guy alone for a few days, alright?
MATT: Ok.
DAVE: Ok.
MATT: Good.
DAVE: Ok.
MATT: I gotta talk to Joe. [Hurries off towards the elevator]
DAVE: Oh Matthew.
BILL: [As Matthew passes by] Hello Matthew.
MATT: I've got to talk to Joe.
BILL: And talk to him you shall! [To Dave] Hey Left-tenant{?}! Nice out
there today. Perfect cane weather.
DAVE: Well, I guess Central park must just be full of idiots with canes,
then.
JIMY: [Comes into the office] Hey Bill. Nice. Uh, nice stick.
BILL: You're very gracious sir. [Heads on off into the back]
JIMY: [To Dave] Hey Dave, you ready for the annual staff retreat?
DAVE: Uh. Sure, when?
JIMY: Tonight.
DAVE: Uh huh. What is it?
JIMY: Oh well you know, once a year, I like to get the staff together in
the corporate office. You know, lock the doors, and kick around some
ideas.
DAVE: Oh really. Well don't you think you should give the staff a little
more time to prepare for something like that?
JIMY: Oh, I thought everyone knew about that. [To Lisa, who is nearby
getting a cup of coffee] Lisa, when's the annual retreat?
LISA: Tonight. Right?
JIMY: Right on, right on! Oh hey! Hey, remember ... Remember last year
when we went til like oh, five in the morning. Heh-heh! Wasn't that a
hoot?
DAVE: Uh, I wasn't there last year, sir.
JIMY: Oh right. [To Lisa, back at her desk] Lisa, wasn't that a hoot?
LISA: A hoot and a half, sir
JIMY: A hoot and a half, I'll tell you, I'm talking about a hoot.
[Walking out of the office] That was ... that was a hoot.
DAVE: [To Lisa] Why ... why didn't you tell me about this retreat.
LISA: I did tell you.
DAVE: No you didn't.
LISA: Well, I'm sorry. I thought I did.
DAVE: You didn't. You never told me. Now I have like a few hours to
prepare for this thing.
LISA: It's all right, Dave. It's not a big deal. You don't have to
prepare, we just go up there and sit around. Why don't you just come up
with some stuff on the fly?
DAVE: I'm just not very comfortable doing stuff on the fly. Uh, do you
have any ideas from last year that you can show me? Just ... just to help
me out?
LISA: No. Well, last year I just went up there and came up with some
stuff on the fly.
DAVE: Uh huh.
LISA: Dave, what did you do in high school and had a pop quiz?
DAVE: Hyperventalted and got a note from the nurse.
----- Jimmy's Office ----
[Corporate office setting with big carpeted open area.]
JIMY: Ok team! Let's get going. Let's get this jamboree rollin'!
CATH: [To Jimmy] Uh, Jimmy?
JIMY: Yeah?
CATH: Where are we supposed to sit?
JIMY: Huh? Oh, w ... well I had all the ... the furniture removed so we
could hunker down, you know. Rub some elbows. C'mon everybody grab some
carpet, lets go!
[The gang all sits down on the ground, except for Jimmy who sits behind
the desk.]
MATT: Um, Mister James, aren't you going to sit down on the floor with us?
JIMY: No thanks. [On phone] Carol? Yeah, yeah, go ahead and bring in
some pencils uh and pads for the guys please.
BILL: [Raising cane in the air] Uh, Jimmy?
JIMY: [To Bill] Recognized.
BILL: Jimmy, my ass hurts.
JIMY: Ok ... [on phone] Carol, bring us some cushions too, Bill's ass
hurts.
JOE : [Entering] Hey, what's up. Sorry I'm late.
JIMY: Okey dokes, everybody ready to uh ... go to it?
LISA: Just one ... [She lays out several colored portfolios] second.
There. Ok, I'm ready.
DAVE: You just thought those up on the fly did you?
BETH: Dave and I are gonna need a few seconds to set our stuff up.
JIMY: Ok.
[Beth opens up Dave's briefcase, pulls out three cards, and lays them out
deliberately on the top of the briefcase]
BILL: [Making a big show about pointing to the cards with his cane] One,
two, three cards!
JIMY: Ok. Dave you're uh ... you're the leader of this rag-tag bunch, so
go ahead and stroke me {something????}
DAVE: All right sir. [To Beth who is busily rearranging the three cards]
Thank you Beth, thank you. [To all] Uh ... all right sir, I was ... I was
thinking we could devote half an hour every afternoon to a live call in
show in which
LISA: [To herself] Oh. [Rearranges her papers]
DAVE: [continues] in which they could air their complaints about living in
the city. We could call it ... "Sound Off New York."
JIMY: Aha! [Sing-song] Do-do-do. Do-do-do-do. I like it. I think it's
a winner! Lisa?
LISA: I'm not sure.
DAVE: Huh? W ... What aren't you sure about?
LISA: Well, we are a news station. And I mean as interesting as a call in
show is, it's ... it's not ... news.
JIMY: Dave?
DAVE: Well, maybe. But perhaps it'll give our ... our listeners a chance
to feel more involved with the station.
JIMY: Lisa?
LISA: People listen to us so they can be updated on news, traffic and
weather. And if we changing that programming, they might turn the dial to
another station and quite possibly never turn it back! Um, at least ...
At least, that's ... that's my opinion.
[Carol(CARO) enters]
CARO: Uh sir? This just came in for you. [Hands Jimmy a note]
JIMY: Excuse me! Carol, didn't I say no interruptions? Lisa was just
about to drop some science on us.
CARO: I'm sorry sir.
JIMY: All right. On ... on your way out, just lock the door, turn off the
phones. No one comes, no one goes! You hear me?
CARO: Yes sir. [Exits]
JIMY: [Reads note] Ok, retreat's over.
CATH: I thought this was supposed to be an all-nighter?
JIMY: Well, it was. But ... Uh, Paul Simon's doing a surprise gig down at
the Bottom Line.
CATH: Oh, I love his music.
JIMY: Yeah ... I don't, but I do have a line of snow tires I want him to
endorse. That's it for today people, I'll see you tomorrow. Class is
dismissed. [Exits]
[The rest of the gang minus Dave and Lisa exit.]
LISA: [To Dave] Um, are you hungry?
DAVE: No, no. I'm feeling pretty tired. I'll probably just head straight
home. You know ... Pick something up on the fly.
---The Office---
[Bill exits the booth and comes down the stairs. He stops and looks at
the railing.]
BILL: Where's my cane? It was hanging right here. Has anyone seen my
cane?
[Nobody is paying attention]
BILL: [Angry] I'm talking to you people! [Starts retracing his steps
towards the elevator] Walked in, tap tap tap. [Stops] Took off my coat,
tap tap tap. [Turns around] And hung my coa ... [Spots Dave]
DAVE: I didn't take it, Bill.
BILL: Then where is it?
DAVE: I dunno, maybe it took itself for a stroll.
BILL: We both know you took my cane. When you deny it you insult not only
me, but yourself as well as ... My cane.
[Dave starts walking towards his office]
BILL: Trust me my friend. Me and my cane, when I find it, will find you
and ... well, you get the idea.
DAVE: What?
---Jimmy's Office---
[The gang is already in the office sitting on the floor. Jimmy enters.]
JIMY: Hello people. Sorry ... sorry I had to cut things short last night.
CATH: So how'd your talk with Paul Simon go?
JIMY: Oh, not so good. I think the world's going to have to wait for "A
Hazy Shade of Whitewalls." [To group] Anyway so, who's got something?
LISA/DAVE: I do./Well I ...
JIMY: Joe?
JOE : We could set up a fully interactive online website for our
listeners.
JIMY: Good! Anyone else? Bill?
BILL: An immediate and comprehensive probe into the dissapearance of
office canes.
JIMY: (sighs) Ok. Matthew?
MATT: My idea is that I think a fully interactive online website is
stupid. [To Joe] Zap.
JIMY: All right, Lisa?
LISA: Um, ok. Well, this one's is just a quick-ee. I think we should
start doing morning subway updates on the quarter hour so that people can
listen to us before they catch their trains.
JIMY: A quick-ee, but I like-ee. Dave?
DAVE: Uh yeah. Well. To be honest, I ... I can't say I love it.
LISA: Really?
DAVE: M-m. Yeah. I'm Sorry.
LISA: And ... and why is that?
DAVE: Well, I uh ... It just doesn't ... It just doesn't feel like our
station. You know?
LISA: And ... And what exactly does our station feel like?
DAVE: I just think that subway updates are really going to interfere with
the hard news.
MATT: Well, sometimes I take the subway and I always thought ...
DAVE: [Interrupts] Thank you Matthew.
JIMY: Bill? D ... do you have anything to add?
BILL: Yes. Dave stole my cane and my ass still hurts.
JIMY: Ok, [Exasperated] Does anyone ... anyone have anything positive to
contribute?
LISA: Yes, I do. Of course, I'm not sure if it feels like our station ...
But you know whatever the hell that means ...
JIMY: Ok, that's it. That's it. Uh, that's enough folks. I think we're
gonna call it a night. There's enough bad vibes in this room to run a
hoodoo factory. C'mon, let's go.
[The gang starts leaving]
DAVE: [mumbles]
LISA: I'm sorry, what?
DAVE: Hmm?
LISA: Could you speak up? I didn't hear that.
DAVE/JIMY: [Mumbles]/[Mumbles]
LISA/DAVE: [To Jimmy] What?/Sorry what was that?
JIMY: Oh, Nothing. I was just getting in on the fun.
==== Commercial Break ====
---- The Break Room ---
[Dave and Lisa are sitting at the table eating in silence. Catherine is
in the background retrieving a jar of pickles from the refrigerator. She
tries for several moments to open it without success.]
DAVE: Catherine, just give me the jar.
LISA: I can take it.
[Lisa and Dave talk at the same time, trying to convince Catherine to give
them the jar. Catherine hesitates, before Lisa grabs the jar. She tries
to open it, but she can't. She puts it down on the table and Dave grabs
it.]
LISA: It's stuck.
[Dave tries to open the jar but can't. He puts it back on the table, and
Lisa grabs and tries again. Meanwhile, Catherine opens the refrigerator,
grabs a second bottle of pickes, opens it, grabs a pickle and walks out.
Dave grabs the jar on the table one more time, turns it upside-down and
slams it down on the table. He rights the jar and the cap twists off.]
[Bill comes in, and gets a bottle from the refrigerator.]
BILL: Hi kids. [Looks through the drawers] Ah, the bottle opener has
disappeared. How you gonna open a bottle without a bottle opener?
DAVE: [To Bill] C'mere. Do you have some keys?
BILL: Yeah. [Starts feeling his pockets]
DAVE: [To Bill] House keys, car keys ...
[Lisa takes the bottle in one hand, and leans the bottle against the table
so the cap is on the edge, while the bottle hangs down. She hits her arm
with her free hand and the cap pops off.]
BILL: Impressive. I'm assuming you dated a lot of frat guys.
[Bill takes the bottle and leaves]
[Matthew comes in and grabs two cans from the shelves. He starts looking
through the drawers]
MATT: Shoot, shoot, shoot. Can't find the can opener. How am I going to
open up these two cans of beans if I can't find the can opener. Oh well.
I'm just gonna put these right there. [He puts the cans down on the table
in front of Dave and Lisa] ... and go look for the can opener out by the
coffee maker.
[Dave and Lisa each grab a utensil and start pounding them into the tops
of the cans, intent on prying the tops open.]
DAVE: What the hell does Matthew need with two cans of beans anyway?
[The camera angle switches so we can see the staff watching through the
break room window. Dave and Lisa turn to see them and the rest of the
gang start laughing.]
---- The Office ----
[Joe carries in a computer monitor and puts it on Lisa's desk. As he's
finishing, Matthew pushes his phone onto the floor.]
MATT: Huh. Guess what? My phone broke.
JOE : I can see that.
MATT: Well Joseph. Your uh ... your job is to fix things when they break,
right, or am I just [makes a small crazy motion].
JOE : That's right.
MATT: Good. Cause I'd like you to fix my phone now, please.
JOE : [Angry] What's your problem, huh? How far do you think you can push
me before I push you back?
MATT: Ok, you know what. I just need to know why you don't like me.
JOE : It's not that I don't like you, I'd just like you more if you
weren't bugging me all the time!
MATT: What you call bugging other people call communicating.
JOE : Well, I don't want to communicate with you!
MATT: I'm the kind of person that need to share my feelings.
JOE : Well, I'm the kind of person that doesn't like to be bothered.
MATT: And I'm a little bit country.
[Joe is taken aback]
MATT: Oh oh. C'mon. [Motions for Joe to finish the saying.]
JOE : Dude, you're a freak!
JOE /MATT: You're a freak!/You're a little bit rock and roll.
JOE : Leave me alone man! I don't want talk to you!
---- Jimmy's Office ----
[Jimmy alone in his office opens the door and lets Dave and Lisa in.]
JIMY: Hey kids. Come on in.
LISA: Hey.
DAVE: Hey. Hey, Mister.
[Camera pans back. There are only two guest chairs, none of the other
staff is present.]
DAVE: Mister James?
JIMY: Yep?
DAVE: Where is everybody else?
JIMY: They are no longer relevant to the process. [On Phone] Carol?
Yeah, go ahead and lock the doors, and if you hear any yelling and
screaming, just uh ... just leave us alone. Yeah. All right. [To Dave
and Lisa] Go ahead. C'mon sit sit sit sit sit. Let's go!
[Dave and Lisa sit]
JIMY: Lisa, fire away!
LISA: Ok. Well I guess first I ... I had a thought that if we switched
from pretaped station ID's to live ones, we could save enough time to have
a new two minute feature every hour.
JIMY: Dave. Dig in!
DAVE: I think it's a terrific idea.
JIMY: [Excited] And he comes out swinging ... Look out Lisa! Wait a
minute ... What ... What'd you say?
DAVE: I think it's a terriffic idea.
JIMY: Oh. Y ... You do, do you?
DAVE: Uh huh. I think we should impliment it immediately.
JIMY: Oh. Well ... oh oh oh, ok. Y ... You got any ideas of your own?
DAVE: Uh, yes I do. Uh, I thought we could teach Matthew how to produce
his own segments. This was my idea, but Lisa really helped flesh it out.
LISA: Oh, no. I mean I made one or two very minor adjus ...
DAVE: Oh, no they were very key ...
JIMY: [Dissapointed] Oh gee ... What the hell kind of fun is this? I'm
all geared up for kickboxing, and you give me synchronized swimming.
DAVE/LISA: Well.../Well...
LISA: Dave and I decided that we could get a lot more accomplished if we
worked with each other instead of against each other.
JIMY: So what ... so what you're saying to me is that uh, because of your
personal relationship, you .... you see the value in noncompetive
cooperation.
DAVE/LISA: Yes, yes./Well, yes.
JIMY: Well, that may work wonders in the bedroom, but do me a favor and
keep that kind of crap out of my office.
LISA: Uh. Well, for the record sir, we really do try to keep our personal
and professional lives completely seperate.
JIMY: Yeah, and I try to keep my dogs off the sofa, but do you what ... Do
you know what makes this country great?
DAVE: (sighs) What?
JIMY: I don't know, but I do know this. If ... if ... If Henry Ford and
John Chrysler'd been sleeping together ... Hell we'd be ... we'd be all be
travling around in horse buggies! I hired you two because you are
fighters, not lovers.
LISA: Ok. Well, I'm ... I'm sure I could come up with one or two ideas
that Dave is not crazy about.
JIMY: [Dissapointed] All right. I'll tell you what kids. I gotta ... I
gotta get out of here.
DAVE: Where are you going sir?
JIMY: Oh, I don't know I guess I'll go downstairs and see if I can find a
bar fight. [Exits]
DAVE: All right, how angry are those ideas going to make me?
LISA: I dunno, maybe we should go back to your place and talk about it.
DAVE: Mmm, huh. Are we going to fight?
LISA: [Amorous] Something like that
DAVE: [Happy] Oh.
[They embrace. Jimmy opens the door and pokes his head back in.]
JIMY: Hey, hey, hey. No hanky panky on the desk. [Looks up at the
ceiling] I got cameras.
---- Dave's Office ----
[Matthew and Joe are sitting on Dave's couch. Dave is standing and
lecturing them.]
DAVE: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why, but I do know if
Henry Ford and John Chrysler had spent all their time fighting, we'd still
be driving around in horse and buggy.
MATT: Umm ... Who, who's John Chrysler
DAVE: The guy who invented the Chrysler?
JOE : [Laughing] There's ... there's no such person as John Chrysler.
MATT: Oh no. No. Oh wait a minute ... wait a minute ... wait a minute.
Is he by any chance related to Jack Chevrolet? [Laughs]
[Matthew and Joe laugh]
DAVE: Look. You ... you guys get the point I'm trying to make, right?
JOE /MATT: Yeah/Yeah
DAVE: Ok, great.
[Joe and Matthew get up to leave.]
MATT: [Repeating joke aloud] John Chrysler
DAVE: Matthew.
JOE : We're not laughing at you boss.
DAVE: Yeah ...
MATT: We're really not ...
JOE : [To Matthew] C'mon, we gotta get outta here dude. [To Dave] Hey.
Uh, give my regards to Bill Pontiac. [laughs]
[Matthew and Joe Exit.]
[Dave walks over and falls back on the couch, tired.]
[Bill Enters]
BILL: Dave.
DAVE: Oh. Bill, great.
BILL: I wanted to apologize for accusing you of stealing my cane.
DAVE: Uh huh.
BILL: [Bill sits on Dave's coffee table and begins feeling under the couch
and under the couch cushions] Though we've only worked together a short
amount of time, I've always known you to be fair and honest. And those
are good qualities Dave, and I hope you never lose them.
DAVE: Bill, it's not under my couch.
BILL: [Lifting one side of the couch] You mean it's not under the edge of
the couch!
DAVE: Ok, Bill for the last time, I did not take your cane!
BILL: [Starts feeling the floor with his foot] What's under here? Feels
hollow.
DAVE: Bill, you're aware that you're making an ass of yourself.
BILL: Ok, I'm sorry. (sighs) I guess my cane is lost, and I'll just have
to accept that and get on with my life.
[Bill turns and begins to leave, but stops]
BILL: You stepped in front of the window.
DAVE: I did what?
BILL: When I moved to the door, you moved in front of the window as if you
were protecting something.
DAVE: Ok, Bill. Bill, I'm asking you to leave
BILL: You taped it to the side of the building or under the window sill.
I read your book you magnificent bastard!
DAVE: Ok, Bill I ... I'm ... I'm now ordering you to leave.
BILL: I'll leave, but first I'm looking out the window.
DAVE: Bill you're going to feel stupid when it's not out there.
[Bill walks over to the window and opens the shade.]
BILL: It's out there. I know it's out there.
DAVE: Bill.
BILL: Yes Dave?
DAVE: [Smiling] I stole your cane!
DAVE: Bill, I ... I [He walks over to the window and grabs the cane from
under the windowsill.] I'm sorry, Bill. I ... I don't know why ... Why I
... I did it. And ... and Again, I'm ... I'm sorry Bill.
BILL: That is the most childish and immature thing I've ever seen you do.
DAVE: No this is.
[Dave breaks the cane over his knee]
DAVE: Ah, but you knew I was gonna do that.
BILL: No, that one caught me by surprise.
DAVE: Oh! Oh, well. What do we do now?
BILL: Start behaving like adults?
DAVE: An excellent suggestion.
BILL: Then we're of one mind.
DAVE: Uh huh.
[Bill walks out of the office. Dave closes the door and goes to lie on
the couch again. Bill re-enters the office.]
BILL: You do realize I'm just going to buy another cane, don't you?
DAVE: Yeah, and I'm just going to steal it again.
BILL: Touche. [To Beth (offscreen in the main office)] Beth?
[A cane comes flying in, and Bill catches it.]
BILL: Here's one you can take right now.
[Bill stands it up in the cushions of the couch. Another cane flies in]
BILL: This one you can break later.
[Bill puts it on Dave's desk.]
BILL: Here's one for the Hamptons.
[Bill throws it down on the floor by the couch. Another cane flies in]
BILL: This one I like. I keep.
[He tucks it under one arm. Another cane flies in.]
BILL: This one displeases me.
[Bill throws it back out.]
==== End ===
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