Date: 30th August 1999
Sign-in: 3a.m.

Preface: From anger and impulsion, Yun kills Gen. He regrets what he has done, but too late…

What, what have I done?
The blood I have waited to quench my thirst
Stains my hands
My heart
Why?
Where are all my emotions?
What's left is only the leer of emptiness.
No.
The kill is not gratifying.
Not enough.

That was the very first time I saw Yang looking so devastated.
I could only stare at Gen's corpse.
What could I do? Bring the idiot back to life?
If only I could…
The torrid odour of his blood still remains on my hands.
No, I didn't use a knife or sword of some sort to slash him dry.
It was my You Hou… My second blow killed him.
No, there was no bleeding. But the smell, the feel of it was so real.
He just laid there, unmoving…

Come and behold thee torture of sin
Suffer ye shalt thy consequences
Seek forgiveness and thou shalt live
But where thou art blessings?
Thy shalt have nay peace unto within
Neither shalt thou live a minute in rest
Thee wilt live though on repentance
And suffer endless tension
Until thou dost find thyself holy
Until thou dost find thyself holy

I am scared.

End entry: 3:15 am