Stuff by me
God's Way	Wish List	The Curse
The Flame of the Spirit
Stuff by others
Christmas Day by the Scared Weird Little Guys
Somebody Kill Me	Bloke	A Warm Welcome - Rowan Atkinson
Save Yourself by Stabbing Westward		On Your Way down SW
I Want You To Want Me	Dance of the Cucumber from Veggie Tales, Silly Songs with Larry

Silly Songs with Larry
"The Dance of the Cucumber"

Larry: "Miren al pepino"
Bob: "Watch the cucumber"

Larry: "miren como se mueve"
Bob: "see how he moves"

Larry: "como un leon"
Bob: "like a lion"

Larry: "tras un raton."
Bob: "chasing a mouse."

Larry: "Miren al pepino"
Bob: "Watch the cucumber"

Larry: "sus suaves movimientos"
Bob: "Oh, how smooth his motion"

Larry: "tal como mantequilla"
Bob: "like butter"

Larry: "en un chango pelon."
Bob: "on a ... bald monkey."

Larry: "Miren al pepino"
Bob: "Look at the cucumber"

Larry: "los vegetales"
Bob: "all the vegetables"

Larry: "envidian a su amigo"
Bob: "envy their friend"

Larry: "como el quieren bailar"
Bob: "wishing to dance as he"

Larry: "Pepino bailarin, pepino bailarin, pepino bailarin"
Bob: "Dancing cucumber, dancing cucumber, dancing cucumber"

Larry: "Baila, baila, ya!"
Bob: "Dance, dance, yeah!"

Larry: "Miren al tomate"
Bob: "Look at the tomato"

Larry: "¿no es triste?"
Bob: "Isn't it sad?"

Larry: "El no puede bailar."
Bob: "He can't dance."

Larry: "¡Pobre tomate!"
Bob: "Poor tomato!"

Larry: "El desería poder bailar"
Bob: "He wishes he could dance"

Larry: "Como el pepino"
Bob: "like the cucumber"

Larry: "libre y suavemente."
Bob: "free and smooth."

Larry: "Pero el no puede danzar."
Bob: "But he can't ... Okay! Stop the music! What do ya mean I can't dance? I can dance! What about Uncle Louie's polka party? Didn't you see me dancing at Uncle Louie's polka party?"

Larry: "No comprendo."

Bob: "No comprendo? I'll show you 'No comprendo'!"

Jr.: "Mom! Dad! Look over here! Get a picture of me next to the cucumber in authentic Argentinian garb!"

Dad: "Okay, Junior. But we'd better hurry--I think the dwarves have your mother confused with someone else! Say 'Peas!'"

All: "Peas!"

Larry: "Escuchen al pepino"
Bob: "Listen to the cucumber"

Larry: "oigan su voz fuerte"
Bob: "hear his strong voice"

Larry: "como un leon"
Bob: "like a lion"

Larry: "listo a devorar."
Bob: "about to eat."

Larry: "Escuchen al pepino"
Bob: "Listen to the cucumber"

Larry: "que dulce es su canto"
Bob: "oh how sweet his voice"

Larry: "la voz de su garganta parece un trinar."
Bob: "the breath from his throat is like a chorus of little birdies."

Larry: "Escuchen al pepino"
Bob: "Listen to the cucumber"

Larry: "los vegetales"
Bob: "all the vegetables"

Larry: "envidian a su amigo"
Bob: "envy their friend"

Larry: "como el quieren cantar."
Bob: "wishing to sing as he."

Larry: "Pepino cantador, pepino cantador, pepino cantador"
Bob: "Singing cucumber, singing cucumber, singing cucumber"

Larry: "canta, canta, ya!"
Bob: "sing, sing, yeah!"

Larry: "Escuchen al tomate"
Bob: "Listen to the tomato"

Larry: "¿No es triste?"
Bob: "Isn't it sad?"

Larry: "El no puede cantar."
Bob: "He can't sing."

Larry: "Pobre tomate."
Bob: "Poor tomato."

Larry: "El desería poder cantar"
Bob: "He wishes he could sing"

Larry: "fuerte y dulce como el pepino"
Bob: "strong and sweet like the cucumber"

Larry: "Pero no puede ..."
Bob: "But he can't ..."

Larry: "¡Ni siquiera da un silbido!"
Bob: "Can't even ... whistle! All right! That's it Senor! Come over here and let me sing YOU a song!"

Larry: "Adios, amigos!"

Narrator: "This has been Silly Songs With Larry. Tune in next time to hear Larry sing ..."

Larry: "Bob is really angry! I hope he doesn't catch me! It's so hard to run with this sombrero on my head!"

Words and Music by Mike Nawrocki

THE FLAME OF THE SPIRIT

We sat in a circle, those people and I
Faith in our hearts and trust in God in our
minds. And a candle sat in the centre,
slowly burning it's way to the floor. While
the others talked, telling their tales, I
looked at the candle and into the flame.

After a while the flame grew brighter.
Throwing images into my mind from who knows
where. I saw friends, family, old and young.
Enemies and those who'd just walked by
in the street.

The flame then grew brighter and engulfed
the small table it sat upon as more pictures
came to my mind. Books, stories and pictures
I'd seen. Some good, some bad, some in
between, and some I'd even thought I'd
forgotten. A seperate story each of them
told.

Then the flame grew more and those people
and I were engulfed in the flame, and instead
of great pain a feeling of understanding and
peace flooded me. I sat there, peaceful and
knowing, until after a moment I blinked and
the flame returned to the candle. It was
then that we got up and left that place, the
candle left to burn on the table.

And as I walked I thought to myself, 'If I
turn around now, will the floor be burning?
Will the candle be on the table still
burning?' But I continued to walk, and I
did not turn, for I knew in my heart that the
flame it did grow, and the flame of the
Spirit the candle did hold, and that flame
had now spread into my heart.

I Want You To Want Me by Letters To Cleo

	I want you to want me
	I need you to need me
	I'll love you to love me
	I'm begging you to beg me
	I want you to want me
	I need you to need me
	I'll love you to love me

I'll shine up my old brown shoes
I'll put on a brand new shirt
I'll get home early from work
If you say that you love me

Didn't I didn't I didn't I See you crying  Oh
Didn't I didn't I didn't I See you crying
feeling all alone with out a friend
you know you feel like dying               Oh
Didn't I didn't I didn't I See you crying

	I want you to want me
	I need you to need me
	I'll love you to love me
	I'm begging you to beg me

I'll shine up my old brown shoes
I'll put on a brand new shirt
I'll get home early from work
If you say that you love me

Didn't I didn't I didn't I See you crying  Oh
Didn't I didn't I didn't I See you crying
feeling all alone with out a friend
you know you feel like dying               Oh
Didn't I didn't I didn't I See you crying

hey [solo]

feeling all alone with out a friend
you know you feel like dying               

	I want you to want me
	I need you to need me
	I'll love you to love me
	I'm begging you to beg me

I want you to want me
I want you to want me
I want you to want me
I want you to want me

Christmas Day by the Scared Weird Little Guys

We sat round the table, upon Christmas Day.
My brother said 'You should all know that I'm g...
Going to the kitchen, cause the turkey's not plucked.
By the way, Mum and Dad, I think your both f...
Funny, no really, I love you to bits.'
Grandma yelled 'Merry Christmas' and flopped out her t...
Tickets to a concert put on by Lou Ralls.
Grandpa stood up and said 'Look at my...'

Christmas Day, Christmas day,
You never know what they are going to ...
Sing.

We all went outside and were staring at Venus.
Someone remarked at the size of your p...
Peanuts and cashews served up in a glass.
What's that foul smell?
That's just grandma's a...
Arsenic she keeps in a jar by the clock.
She rubs some each night on your Grandfathers c...
Corns, which are painful, from shoes that don't fit.
And he feels relief when he sits down to ...

Christmas Day, Christmas Day,
you never know what they are going to ...
Suggest.

Well, then we all went for a swim in the pool.
Dad said to grandpa, 'You silly old ...
Fuckwit! You're fucked!
You've fucked off with me togs.
Oh shit, now I've sworn and fucked up the ...
Song which was never meant to be this blunt.
Oh fuck this. Get fucked. You're a big pack of ...

Christmas Day, Christmas Day,
you never know what they are going to ...
Say.

-The Scared Weird Little Guys

A WARM WELCOME

from "Rowan Atkinson Live" recorded in december 1991 at the Boston University Theatre.

[The Devil, carrying a clipboard, descends from stairs amid swirling smoke and screams of anguish. The Devil looks at the audience and starts his speech:]

"Ah hello!. It's nice to see you all here. As the more perceptive of you probably realised by now, this is Hell. And I am the Devil, good evening, but you can call me Toby, if you like. We try to keep things informal in here, as well as infernal. That's just a little joke of mine. I tell it every time.

Now, you're all here for ..... Eternity! Ooh, which I hardly need tell you is a heck of a long time, so you'll all get to know each other pretty well by the end. But for now I'm going to have to split you up in groups. Will you stop Screaming! Thank you.

Now, murderers? Murderers over here, please. Thank you. Looters and Pillagers over there. Thieves, if you could join them, and Lawyers, you're in that lot too.

Fornicators, if you could step forward? My God, there are a lot of you! Could I split you up into Adulterers and the rest. Male adulterers, if you could just form a line in front of that small Guillotine in the corner.

Em... The French, are you here? If you could just like to come down here with the Germans. I'm sure you'll have plenty to talk about.

Okay, atheists? Atheists over here please. You must be feeling a right bunch of Nitwits. Never mind. And finally, christians. Christians? Ah, yes, I'm sorry but I'm afraid the Jews were right. If you would come down here, that would be really fine.

Okay! Right, well are there any questions? Yes. No, I'm afraid there aren't any toilets. If you read your Bible, you might have seen that it was damnation without relief, so if you did not go before you came, then I'm afraid you're not going to enjoy yourself very much, but then I believe that's the idea.

Okay. Well, it's over to you, Adolf! And I'll catch you all later at the barbecue. Bye!

Save Yourself -by- Stabbing Westward

I know your life is empty And you hate to face this world alone
So your searching for an angel Someone who can make you whole

I can not save you
I can't even save myself
So just save yourself!

Now that you've been damaged Your soul it suffers such abuse
And I am not your saviour I am just as freaked as you

I can not save you
I can't even save myself
So just save yourself!

Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me

Life has been a nightmare My soul is fractured to the bone
And if I must be lonely I think I'd rather be alone

You can not save me
You can't even save yourself

I can not save you
I can't even save myself
Save Yourself
So just save yourself!

On your way down	Stabbing Westward


i hope i see you on your way down
i hope you break everything
i hope it kills you on your way down
and i hope you die alone

all of your hate 
and all of your lies
will it be worth it?
when all of your friends
refuse to be alibies
will it be worth it?

i hope i see you on your way down
i hope i see you on your way down

it's kinda sad to watch you break down
you greedy fucker pissed it all away
who will catch you on your way down
you've only got yourself to blame

when all your worst fears 
materialise
will it be worth it?
there's nobody left 
who cares your alive
was it worth it?

i hope i see you on your way down
i hope i see you on your way down

After getting the single for this song and listening to it over and over and over again I thought 'the tune for this is cool, i wonder if i could do different words for it?'
this is the result.

God's Way

They saw the Lord, His face smiled upon them
They didn't know it was the lord that day
they were there and they were simply praising
The Lord was there watching and waiting and knowing the way

They opened the book and they got to talking
They learned about the grace of God that day
The face of God looked down directly on them
And now they were going with only God knowing the way

Chorus:

And then they went out and they went to praise him
They went and told the world of him that day
People came and praised the lord around 'em
and now they were going with only God knowing the way

*Chorus

Belezebub saw, he could not avoid them
the angels won the battle there that day
his spirit came and flooded down upon 'em
and God was there watching, and waiting, and knowing the way

*Chorus (Fastball Version)

Chorus:

New words by Daniel (dan 'the man') Radford, music by Fastball

At winter camp we were talking about the song 'Wishlist' by Pearl Jam and we were asked about our own wishes. As a result i was feeling inspired and wrote the following.

My Wish List

Written by Dan 'the man' at Winter Camp 1998 on 25^th of July 1998

I gave to God a wish list
he looked at it and said,
'This is a very good list,
but do you need a new bed?

A case of wine,
that would be fine,
but why not water instead?
A brand new car
would get you only so far
so why not walk instead?'

I took it back
and I did pack
and leave that holy place
And as I went
angels were sent
to guide the human race.

So now I have a new wish list,
it does not list a bed,
it is a very good list.
It's for the world instead.

The Curse
July 1^st
I'm cursed.
I didn't realise it at first. It sort of crept up on me.
I'm cursed to spend the first lot of holidays every year, for four days, in a tent while it rains outside. But only when I'm not being squashed with a large mob of people in a hall.
Then there's the 'entertainment', strange people jumping around, and I'm not even going to start about the 'dancing girls'.
Then there's the strange activities. Jumping around, running in circles around other people, getting grabbed.
There's one good point though. The Food. It's a real pity about the eating habits of some of the other people. Whole plates of food into mouths at once, it's too much.
Then there's the really wyrd clothing some people wear. The dresses some of the guys wear are too much.
And it was only through the lack of sleep that I worked out what the curse was. I hesitate to say it.

But the curse is...

......the curse of Easter Camp.

At least it's a curse I can live with. Easter Camp 1998 Photo's See them and see what I mean

Well, anyway, has anyone out there seen 'The Wedding Singer'??
I have and I thought it was pretty funny, particularly one song.

Somebody Kill Me by Adam Sandler

You don't know how much I need you.
While you're near me I don't feel blue.
And when we kiss I know you need me too.
But it was all bullshit, it was a goddamn joke,
and when I think of you, Linda,
I hope you fucking choke.
I hope your glad with what you've done to me,
I lay in bed all day long feeling meloncoly.
You left me here all alone
tears running constantly.
Oh, somebody kill me, please,
somebody kill me, please.
I'm on my knees.
Pretty, pretty please.
Kill me.
I want to die.
Put a bullet in my head.

I was watching the Raw Comedy 1998 Grand Final on the ABC over the weekend (that's Australian not American) and they had a guy called Chris Franklin on and he did the reply to Meredith Brooks' song '

Bitch

Bloke by Chris Franklin
Music from 'Bitch' by Meredith Brooks

I hate the New Age guys
I'm a chauvinist
I live on beer and pies
tried to tell you
but you look at me like,
maybe, I'm an angel underneath.
I haven't brushed me teeth.

Yesterday I lied,
but all me mates gave me
a real good alibi. Thanks guys.
I really went out drinking,
I told you I was at work.
Don't ask me for commitment
'cause it's something I will shirk

I'm a bloke, I'm an occa
and I really love your knockers.
I'm a labourer by day
I piss up all me pay,
watching footy on TV,
just feed me more VB.
Just pour my beer,
and get my smokes,
and go away.

Well, take me as I am,
this may mean
you'll have to fetch another can.
Rest assured that,
if I start to make you breakfast,
I'm going to extremes.
But tomorrow I'll get shitfaced
and today won't mean a thing.

I'm a bloke, I'm a yobbo,
and me best mates name is Robbo.
Winfield is me cigarette.
I dress in flannelette,
shearers singlet that is blue,
throw in a few tattoos,
you know you wouldn't
want me any other way.
That's how I'll stay.

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