Men
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.
Whenever two men meet there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man was the other sees him, and each man as he really is.
To attract a man, wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
Women like quiet men because they think they are listening.
On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.
The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will see a man who can't get his pants off!
Don't kick a man when he's down unless you're certain he won't get up.
Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Man who sneezes without tissues takes matters into his own hands.
A man is not complete until he is married -- then he is finished.
A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.
Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.
God may have mad man first, but there is always a ruff draft before a final copy.
Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat.
If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." -- they leave skid marks. This works whether a man or woman says it.
Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
My wife ran off with my best friend last week. Man, I miss him!
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
God gave man fire and he invented fire engines. He gave him love and he invented marriage.
Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is.
Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.
There are easier things in life than finding a good man.... nailing Jell-o to a tree for instance."
Men are stupid. If you forget, they will remind you.
Men are like fish... neither would get in trouble if they kept their mouths shut.