Much later, the crew stood around the gigantic newly-built rocket.
“I hereby christen this vessel the Enormous Bronco.” Said Cid, ceremoniously
smashing a bottle of beer against the Rocket.
“Took even less time than expected.” Muttered Vincent. “God bless the guy who
invented Super glue!”
The rest stared at him.
“Everyone get aboard, we’re taking off!” Screamed Cid from the top of the
boarding ladder.
The crew bundled themselves into the rocket and started take-off procedures.
The rocket’s engines spluttered and then roared, as a mighty blast of flame
spurted from its thrusters. The Rocket lifted from the ground, and its supports
fell to the ground, clouded in a haze of smoke.
As the rocket soared through the stratosphere, Aeris gazed at the view from the
main port-hole.
“Isn’t it beautiful.”She said softly. “To think that all the splendour of this
planet could soon be destroyed. How could such a brazen candle be extinguished
by a single breath?”
“I dunno. Who cares?” Replied Yuffie, whilst fumbling with a Rubik’s Cube.
“So how long will it take to reach earth?” Asked Cloud, studying a huge pile of
star charts.
“Well, if this were reality, the trip would last about 2769 years” Replied Cid,
while punching a series of flashing buttons. “But because it’s only a cheap
parody, it’ll probably only last until the author gets bored with the rocket
scene.”
Hours later, Cid was still sitting in the flight seat, pushing various flashing buttons while simultaneously watching The A-Team on the ship’s Vidscreen. A flashing light grabbed his attention for a second, and he put down his cigarette. He glanced at the co-ordinates screen and gasped. Cid swept his arm across a desk and brushed a series of crisp packets and pizza boxes onto the floor, revealing a pile of charts and maps. When he had checked the co-odinates on a star chart, he pushed a small button to his right which brought down the periscope, and sent a few empty beer cans raining down on him. A small multicoloured Sphere caught his attention, and he slammed his fist on the control panel.
Cait sith was sitting in a padded flight seat, fiddling with his dice, Vincent
was polishing his Rifle, and Barret was blowing saliva bubbles and twitching in
a corner. The electronic air-lock doors slid open with a hiss and Red XIII
galloped into the room.
“We made it! We’re at Earth!” He panted, turned and galloped back down the
corridor.
“What now?” Murmured Cait Sith. “Just when ya get comfortable, the storyline
goes and screws ya!”
The group stood at the main airlock. Cloud whirled the door lock around, pulled
open the door and they all stepped out.
“Eeaagghh!” Growled Yuffie. “What a dump! We flew 7000,000,000 light years for
this?”
Vincent descended the ladder, picked up a clump of dirt and sniffed at it.
“What the hell are you doing?” Yelled Tifa.
“Looking professional.” Replied Vincent.
“O.K squad” Said Cloud enigmatically. “Split up, and search for a method of
stopping sephiroth. We’ll meet up back tomorrow.”
“And I thought it was only Shinra that could mess up planets!” Mumbled Cid, as
he walked away from the rocket.
“Dam’ Shinra!” Ranted Barret, clutching his sides, and moaning.
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