Locke, Celes, and Edgar are on the airship.

Celes: Hey look down there! What IS that?

Edgar: Maybe we should check it out.

Locke looks down and sees two ships in the ocean shooting cannons and firearms everywhere.

Locke: Okay let’s go.

The crew lands just by the Serpent Trench.

Edgar: Hey, you over there. (Points to a man on one of the ships) What’s going on?

Man on Board: There’s this big purple freak blocking the docking bay!

Locke, Celes, and Edgar: BARNEY???

Locke: How could have that strange unearthly being made it here?

Man: No this thing isn’t that scary. Better be careful. We’re not quite sure what we’re dealing with here.

Ultros shoots up from between the ships uglier than ever.

Edgar: It’s an octopus…

Celes: It’s a monster…(gasp)

Locke: (Calmly) No, it’s just Ultros.

Ultros: Hey kids! Remember me?

Celes: How many times do we have to kill this …thing?

Locke: Apparently five.

Ultros: Don’t worry. This time I brought a friend.

Ursula the Sea Witch crawls unto the shore. (For those of you who have never seen the movie, Ursula is the baddie from "The Little Mermaid") Ursula gets closer and closer to the gang…and closer…and closer…mouth dripping with seaweed…and closer… and closer…Edgar casually takes out his auto-crossbow and shoots one of her tentacles.

Ursula: AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!

Locke casts Ultima to finish her off and she disintegrates into thin air.

Ultros: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! That’s it. This time I’m gonna finish you off.

Celes: You never even came close before.

They engage in a battle. Celes casts Merton.

Ultros: Noooooo! Anything but Merton!

Locke hits him four times with the Atma Weapon and four times with Illumina.

Ultros: Please, not that either.

Edgar: What can we do?

Ultros: I give up already. Let’s just be friends.

Locke, Celes, and Edgar confer with each other.

Locke: Alright.

Ultros: Yay, I have new friends.

Celes: What a loser.

All of them, including Ultros, walk back to the airship.

Locke: Now that you’re part of our party you have to help us beat Kefka and you can start by equipping armor and weapons.

Ultros: Huh?! No wonder you guys are so strong.

Hours later, after trying tons of armor…

Locke: There, something that actually fits you.

Ultros is wearing a white dress and is holding eight dirks.

Ultros: I look so weird.

Edgar tries not to laugh but bursts out in laughter anyway. Ultros runs away crying. Edgar follows him.

Edgar: Look Ultros, I’m sorry.(Looks at him) No hard feeli…hahahaha!!!

Ultros: That’s it. I’m tired of being made fun of.

Ultros loses his temper and gets into a battle with Edgar. He uses his strongest attacks until Edgar is low on HP. Relm comes into the room.

Relm: What’re you guys doin?

Edgar: Relm! Will you give me a hand here?

Relm paints a portrait of Barney.

Edgar and Ultros: NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Barney: Hello Ultros. I love you…You love me…

Ultros runs away as fast as his tentacles can carry him. Locke and Celes come in and cast Vanish and X-zone on Barney.

Relm: Phew! That was too close but I had no choice.

Locke: Okay, just promise never to do that again.

Much later, the body of Ultros is found on the other side of the world.

Celes: Poor thing. Died of exhaustion trying to run away.

They buried him without a coffin and put dead weeds on his grave. His tombstone read
"Here lies Ultros.
He had no friends.
He was very annoying.
May he burn."

Author’s Note: Well, that’s my second one. Kinda strange again and it stinks but I just write them for my own entertainment. Hopefully you writers out there do the same.

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