Reasons Why I Live

January 1999

January 30, 1999

Quake 3

Oh god...life just gets better and better dont it?  This is really why I'm still alive right now...I would have commitied suiside if i didnt know Q3 was coming out.  Looks like I definitely need to upgrade my system to prepare for Q3, i want everything to be perfect.

Pizza

There's nothing i like better than shoving handfuls of grease down my throat.  People just dont seem to understand that the grease on pizzas is what makes the whole pizza...that's what gives the pizza the mouthwatering taste that it has.  This is good grease...the bad grease is the stuff some people put in their hair (have you ever gottne hugged by those people? It's like someone ejaculating and rubbing it all over the side of your head).  And also, eating lots of grease at a young age is a good thing, see Fun Things to Do.

Hey, where's the cream filling?

While I'm on the subject of food.....these little Hostess snacks are like little orgasms in every bite. They should somehow combine this with pizza...yummie.

January 27, 1999

Yo Quero Taco Bell

Yum, yeah i need some Taco Bell right now.  This shit is just "da bomb".  There's no other kind of food that gives you the kind of gas that Taco Bell's food does.  These are the only farts that i know of that actually smell good...it actually smells like what you just ate.  That is like so cool...I could like eat one of those burritos and an hour later when i fart it'll smell just like the burrito i just ate.  I swear...i get hungry again from smelling my fart, it's that good.  Now, make that run for the border.

Pornos

You're probably thinking that I'm some kind of pervert that never get any.....well....ok, that's partially true.  But there's nothing wrong with watching porn...I think of it as modern art.  Back in the days, they made those statue thingies.  Well, porn is just like that but in a different form, that's all.  You just have to have an artistice open mind (like me) to fully understand it fully. 

January 23, 1999

Free Shit

There might not be such a thing as a free lunch, but there sure are a lot of free samples at Cosco.  Basically anything that is free is good, no matter how crappy what ever it is is.  Take advantage of this where ever you go.  Like, take all the ketchup packs at Macdonalds next time you go there, i always do it. Things are always better when it's free, really. 

Internet anyone?

The internet is like a drug, but is even more addicting then anything.  Feels great doesnt it?  For some reason, everytime I'm online i feel so relaxed and all my problems are gone!  Life would suck so bad and I think i would die if there was no internet, I mean, where else can you get a wider selection of porn right at your fingers tips. This is like where all the boys discover the joys of porn and turn into real men.  Just look at me, I'm a man now.

Oral Sex

Huhuh....hehehehehehehhehehehyyyeeaahhh....oh yeah baby....

January 19, 1999

Victoria Secret Comercials/catalogs

This is almost like legal porn.  It's even better though, cause the women in these Victoria Secret stuff actually look good.  Damn, and they all have a hell of a body...i bet every guy had to adjust his pants at least twice when they watched the comercials, i know i did.  I've even tried to set my VCR to tape it when it shows again but havent seen it again yet. Darn it.  Man....if only those women were my sisters........... 

Freedom of Speech/Press

I love this amendment or constitution or what ever it is..  This site wouldnt be up if it weren't for this.  I think good that people can write about anything they want or believe in, like breastages and Arabian people.  We should consider ourself lucky to have such a law....er...good constitution.  Thank you president George Bush for passing this Constitution.

Arabian People

How can we live without these people?  They are the ones who stay up all night to make sure that if in case you need a slurpee at 3 a.m. in the morning, you can have your slurpee.  They are the ones who bring joy to children as they  "pop, goes the weasle" down the street in their beat up ice-cream truck, despite people like me who are always chasing and scaring them away.  They are the ones who toils long hours in a yellow car to make sure people get to where they are going.  And they are the ones that bring us great entertainment in movies, like Aladdin.  God bless you man.

January 15, 1999

Breastages

YEAH! You like this too dontcha?  Girls really get turned on when you squeez em.  So next time you see some, make sure you squeez em, cause it shows how much you care about that girl.  Why? Becasue you're simply helping them check if they have breatages cancer.   

Cussing

I love to fucking cuss.  I think it's a great fuckin way to express your damn shitty feelings.  Like:

"Oh sweet heart, I love you so fucking much."

"You son of a bitch!!! You stole my god damn prostitute!!"

" It tastes (so fucking) good", Bill Clinton

Blowing Things Up

Everyone has prolly blew something up, i know i have.  I love to blow things up and burn things, it makes me feel like god.  Once in jr. high, i brought a blow torch to school (dont ask me why, i was a stupid kid....kinda still am) and i was lighting it in the lunch room but the gas leaked out of it's canister/container thingy and then it like blow up in my face.  I saw like a fireball coming toward me, i dropped and kicked it to the other table.  Luckily i never got caught...whew.  Did i mention i used to tie explosives to little animals and watch them blow up.....

Send complaints to Bugbit8822@hotmail.com, one per person per house hold, per month.

January 12, 1999

Games

I should have mentioned this earlier, after all, this is the most important thing in life isnt it?...of course after sex.  This is what keeps us men together.  If you dont play games, you are missing a big chunk of your life.  There's no better way to kill you're brain cells than to play games.

Scaring the Ice-cream man Away

Tehehehhehehe, dumb chickens.  Ever like, ride on their bumpers and bounce on their trucks when they stop? Teheheheheheh, you've got to try it.  It's so funny how they say like "Get away from the truck you" in their arabian acent.  Hehehehehehehehehe.

No offence to the Arabians out there reading this, i love your movie Aladdin.

Trucks and SUVs (not the rigs)

These are the kings of motor vehicles.  I practically begged my dad to get a truck or a SUV when he was looking for a new car.....but no.....he bought a crappy Japanese Toyota Canary.  He makes me sick, what a geek....i feel so ashamed.  The first car that i buy will be a SUV, yep.  Of course, this is after i drive the crappy car that my parents have for me right now, yes, it's another Toyota.  What is it with Toyota's in my family....my mom, my sister, my dad.  Oh yeah, not to mention my uncle and aunt too, damn it.  Thank god none of my brothers have Toyotas.

People with Courage

To me, a person who has courage is a person who dosen't mind picking their nose in public.  This shows that a person is not afraid of what people say about them doing something that is perfectly natural.  It's always rewarding to be able to pick that prized winner, why not share that moment with others too.

January 10, 1999

Short Skirts/shorts

This truly is the reason why women was put on this earth for in my opinion.  I mean, women are just blessed with nice legs and other stuff too (except fat woman, check out Things That Really Suck).  My hats off to you woman and to the person who invented short skirts and shorts.  God bless America.

Picking on Stupid people

I love doing this, it makes me feel so outragously smart.  You can like wait at a water fountain and when someone stupid comes, tell them a refill would cost a quarter or something like that.  It's really fun.

January 9, 1999

Ketchup  

 Besides from the french fries from Micky D's, the next best thing there is probably the ketchup.  Theres something about it that is so different from all the rest, i really cant describe the taste.  I think it's Heinze brand?  But the ones you buy at the store taste completely different .  What would i do without ketchup...

Spider Man                                                                                                     

He, is truly my hero.  I mean, who else can swing from building to building, be a good guy and fight crime and always get the girl.  Well ok, so almost all comic book super heros get the girl but hey.  He's is still my fav.

Prank calls

 Yeah, this the shit!!!! There's nothing better than this at 2 am on a weeknight.  It's so funny to hear the someone's sleepy voice and all of a sudden they  freak out when you tell them that you are the IRS and they owe you 2 million dollars.  heheheheheh suckers. 

I think i'll go unhook my phone line now.

Half-Life

DAMN!!! If you dont have this game, you better go get it now!!!  I've got this a while ago and since then i've found myself at my computer more than i usually am....I think i've almost past it now though and i cant wait to see what happens at the end.  This game is really worth getting, it's multiplayer is pretty good (much better than Ureal's), but of course, in my opinion Q2 rules multiplayer.