Things that Suck
January 1999
January 30, 1999
People who cant take losing
This doesnt make sense. One of my friend...*ahem* Joseph *cough*...was like saying that i suck in Q2 and that he's better than i am...which of course isnt true at all. So to straightened things out i challenged him to a one on one with no BFG...that casue he's a BFG lamer and that's all that he uses. Well, through most of the game I LET him lead but in the end when it was tied at 9 (we were playing to ten) I beat em. Well, then he got all pissed and started making excuses...saying that i play this game all day and all that stuff. And plus he was the one that was getting the invincibility and quad the most too.....I only got the quad like 3 times and once with the invincibility. Just face it...you suck Joseph.
But ok, i will have to admit that you got pretty good since you started to play Q2....just not good enough to beat me. Yeah what....you gay ate-off Hitler...that's one.
January 27, 1999
Richard Simmons
Ummmm....what can i say? This is just a faggot with jerry curls on steriods in my opinion, nuff said.
School Staff
They're all queers i tell you....QUEERS. Especially the counselors (mostly mine). I dont know how staffs are at other schools but at mines...they all SUCK ASS. Take my counselor for instance, I've been trying to get one of my classes fixed since the begining of the year and still havent been able to do anything yet. Whenever i have a chance to go to her office, she's always doing something that's non-school related. The bitch was replying to email once AT LUNCH TIME, and that's the only time i get to see her. And seeing the way she was typing, i just left becasue waiting would be wasting my lunch time. I'm thinking of ways to get her fired some how now.... Send me some ideas if you have any. Oh yeah another thing...she's fat.
Wet Public Toilet Sets
This is gross, you know? No matter how well you check before you sit down, there's always a spot that you miss and it's just gross. Sitting on this is equievelent to having some stranger come up to you, pull out his pecker and pee on your ass. Not a pleasant feeling at all, nope.
Recycle-like toilet paper
AAARRRGGGG!!!! This....is way out of line. I mean, i understand the need to save and protect the enviroment, but this....this is going way overboard. Even if making good two-ply toilet paper puts toxic fumes in our air and kills off all animals and throwing our food chain way of wack and everyone has to wear gas masks all the time.......I'm willing to make that sacrafice for good paper, or else I'll just use a pine cone cause that feels a heck of a lot better.....I've tried.
January 26, 1999
White House Scandle Trial (or what ever you call it)
Does anyone else feel that this is going too far? I mean, so what if the president got a blow job, there aint nothing wrong with that. I think he's a pimp president becasue of that. But still, he shouldnt have lied about it though, if I ever get blow job, i would want the whole world to know.
Worthless TV
Ok, so we got our cable hooked up. I was expecting a lot better stuff that what i saw. I'd have to say about 75% of all the channels were showing that Clinton trial shit. Why the hell do things get set up that way? Why cant they assign one channel to cover this kind of stuff? No one wants to watch this crap, becasue no one cares. Also, they should stop showing Who's the Boss, that is like so lame.
January 25, 1999
Stupid annoying little cousins
Is it that hard for kids to do what you say? I had a couple of cousins over the other day when i wasnt home and they cleaned my room. This really pissed my off becasue for one thing my room isnt messy (really...it's not) and second now i dont know where anything is. These dumb kids. And then when i got home they were like "Im hungry...is there anything to eat." And I'm like "Go tell your parents to feed you cause i aint go no food.". then 2 minutes later " I'm thirsty..." ASDFAS LJLKJ what the fuck is the matter with these kids, they run around my room and go through my stuff even though i told them not to. They even screwed aound on my computer!!!!!! That was it...
I dont remeber being THAT spoiled when i was a kid. I think if i ever have kids I'm going to get about 3 dogs, and name em...Retard, Asshole and Dumbass (see Fun Things to Do for my reasons).
Crashing
Yeah this isnt good at all. Thank god for the reset button.
January 23, 1999
Ugly Porn Stars
Ok, this is stupid. The director of these movies know exactly why people watch porn, but they are just stupid. No one wants to watch a 40 year old woman with her breastages hanging down to her knees. The first time i saw a porn like this, I just went limp....just like that. It really is a horrible sight, it's like watching your own mom.....and this is definitely not a turn on...unless....you've..got problems and need some help.
People who cant Type Correctly
I'm one of those people. Why is it that everytime you type or write something it looks fine and all when you reread it, but then after that you see a whole bunch of things wrong? This sucks, cause once i post something it's really retarded to go back and fix it and then repost it. Wouldnt it be cool to have a spell checker built right into your brain?
Retarded Ass Alarm Clock
I've got the crappiest alarm clock there is. This thing almost never go off on time and has the most annoying sound. One time i woke up at about 4:30 AM thinking that it's 6:45 and I'm late for school. I got all ready to go and my mom came out and was like, "It's only 4:30, where you going?" And so i look at the clock in the kitchen and I was like.....aaaahhhhh shit!! The problem with this clock is that it was made by chinks....in whereever chinks live.
Gay Homos in Public Bathrooms
This is FUCKIN rediculious!! Why cant some men keep their eyes on their own pecker when they pee in the urinals? It's not that hard man!! This has happened way too many times....and I'm starting to feel violated. I'm just minding my own business and sudenlly i see this man's face out of the corner of my eyes looking at me and kinda smiling. And so i look over at him with the "what the hell are you looking at" look, and that doesnt do anything. And so i turn away towards the other way a little and the homo looks me in the face as if i did something to offend him. What a stupid gay homo. The next homo that does this I'm going to beat the shit out of his anus and pee in his eye.
January 19, 1999
Pepsi One
Have you tried this? Man, why dont they just come out and admit that there is goat urine in this shit. Cause that's exactely what it taste like. They make the can look all high tech and shit and that makes you think that they used some kind of high tech chemicals to make it taste just like regualar Pepsi, but no.......that's just a trick for you to buy this crap. Drinking this is like having a goat come up to you and pee in your mouth, it's that bad.
And i thought yogurt is bad......
Crack Ass Dogs
I like dogs, just not when they jump out of nowhere at you. My nieghbor has a dog that cant keep it's bitch ass mouth shut. Im taking out the damn garbage at about 10:30 at night, it was dark and quiet out. Just as i open the trash can this fucking bitch start yapping and jumping against the fence....scared the shit outta me, litterally. I almost did one of those wet farts. There should be a law about dogs and muzzles, there should be a muzzle on every dog!! And also they should wear diapers, im tired of stepping in their shit at the park...but that's another story.
I havent see what this dog looks like so i dont know what kind it is....sounds like a big bitch though. Can't fucking sleep at night becasue of this bitch either, got a fucking big mouth.....kinda reminds me of women, once they get started....they cant stop.
January 15, 1999
Running out of Toilet Paper
I know this is something everyone can relate too. It sucks. But there are three ways to deal with this. The first is to use your hands and if nesassary, wash your hands afterwards. The second, put your pants back and casually so look for a roll to bring back. Be sure to WALK and not run, and definitely dont sit down yet. The third way is to just say "Ahh, screw it," and not do anything. This is prolly the worst one....casue you ass will be itchin like hell, not to metion that it'll be all smeared and stuff when you sit. Peeuu.
Other People's Farts
Damn it stinks!! Why cant people be respectful and not fart by other people. I dont really want to smell you're farts man. Smelling your own fart is one thing, but smelling other peoples's......no...i dont think so. The only place you can prolly fart is in the elevator (see Fun Things To Do). Thats when it's fun.
Hemroids
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAH........ow.......OW.....ouch, damn it. God it itches!!!!
Yogurt
These stuff taste like diareah. I swear this stuff gives you genital herpes man. You know what's in that shit? Ever look at the ingrediants? 40% rotten milk, 20% fried mice toes, 10% belly botton lint, 20% goat milk, 10% pig genitals. Yeah, you dont believe me....just go ahead and eat it, dont say i didnt warn you when your genitals swell up and green stuff comes out of it.....
January 12, 1999
JanSport
I've always been loyal to JanSport. But lately my backpack's zipper has been breaking and it's driveing me nuts. One time i walked around school with my backpack open and didnt even know, i could've lost my pencils!!! Life time warraty my ass, i think i'll email their company. Peice a shit.
Shrinkage
You guys out there know what i mean right? Man this is prolly the thing that makes you feel less of a man most, besides from not getting laid. This just plain suck, i mean, why must we suffer through this, were we cursed or something? Man, the other day at school it was freakin cold when the damn heaters REFUSED to work....it's just not funny at all, i couldnt bare to look at myself that whole day.
Fat women and beaches
What the hell!!!??? Did these women run out of fast food places to eat at? That's it isn's it? They have no where else to go now and that's why they all just go to the beach and hang (they're not the only thing that's hangin either, think of what's hanging out of their bathing suits......oh my god). That's another thing, do they actually think they're "fine" or something? Why the hell do they have to put on those damn bikinies and spandex crap for? It's bad enough that they are taking over our beaches, but do they really have to show us all the waves and tides on their body? Jesus Crist!!!! I think i'm going to get blinder than i already am if i see another one of those whales...er..i mean woman. If i was one of them and i found a big enough hole, i would crawl in and never go out.
Non-Illustrated Books
These kind of books sucks ass. Really, how the hell am i supposed to know what the story is about without any pictures. I'm not a super geniuos guy, all the hard thinking gives me a headache. I need some pressure taken off of me damn it!
January 10, 1999
Half-Life's ending
What a freaking dissapointment. I stayed up to midnight last night to past this game and the ending is so f**kin lame. WTF? All i got to say is that they better come out with a sequel cause that ending made not sense what so ever. But still, the game play was cool....i still cant get over how funny the scientists looks when you smack em upside the head with the crowbar.
No Cable TV
God, how much longer can i live without TV? This damn new place that i'm living at now cant even pick up one single decent channel. And my parents havent gotten our cable hooked up yet either! Becasue of shit, i missed the damn 49er game this morning. If we had cable i could've at least watched the 4th quarter after i woke up. But nooooo, i had to find some other way to waste my time with...... picking lint out of my belly button. Well, at least today wouldnt really matter much anyways becasue they LOST! What's up with that?
Homeless Bums
You want some money? GO GET A JOB BUB. I mean, i dont mind if these bums are asking for spare change, if i had any with me i would gladly give em some. But what ticks me off is that knowing that they will probably use the money they get to buy some cheap whiskey or something instead of at least trying to save up for hopefully a better life. Not that they'll get anywhere from collecting change.
Yeah, i'll be expecting a lot of complaints for this one. Here i'll make it easier for ya, heres my address again: Bugbit8822@hotmail.com