Fun Things To Do

June 1999

June 24, 1999

Heres some fun stuff for public bathrooms...

Make sure you go in a stall where you know there's someone else in the next stall.

- Cheer loudly whenever someone makes some kind bodily noise. 

- Shriek "Damn, this water is cold!"

- Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly. Gotta try this!!!

- Ponder out loud," Hmmm...interesting....more sinkers than floaters"

-  Using a small squeeze tube, spread peaunt butter on a wad of toliet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick  that back over here, please?

- Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

- Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

June 15, 1999

....keep workin on that Arabian stuff.......

June 12, 1999

Learn to speak Arabian

Forget Spanish or French or whatever you take at school.  Those languages have no damn purpose what so ever.  It's all about Arabian baby....Man, if my school offered this, i would take it in a heart beat.  Beleive it or not, this is the most useful language that there is.  I mean, if you knew this, you could be speaking the language of cab drivers...Quicky Mart owners...ice-cream men...and the list goes on.  These guys will probably give you hella discounts and shit too...you can probaly get two of those doughnuts with sprinkles for the price of one....groovy.

Best part is...when your Arabian neighbor starts blasting their music at 6 am in the morning, you can cuss em out in their language and they'll understand what you're saying.

June 3, 1999

Marry a ugly woman

Believe me, women that looks good are nothing but trouble.  You'll end up being a slave and shit if dont marry someone ugly, casue first of all pretty women expect a lot.  So that means, they'll burn a couple of holes in your pocket.  They'll always expect you to say you love them and shit and they wont even appreciat it casue they make you say it too many damn time.

So why marry an ugly woman?  Chances are, if that woman is ugly now..she was probably ugly when she was young.  And people have probably put her down for that...how does this benefit you?  You dont have to worry about hurting her feelings when you get in a fight and call her ugly or something casue she's like ammune to that word.  And if she wants to buy new cloths and shit?  All you have to say is "You're too ugly, that wont make you look better."  And that is where you save tons of money.

You're probably thinking about sex huh?  No problem.  That's why man created paper bags.  Just say that it's part of your fantasy and she'll put the bag on fer ya.  Did i mention ugly women are stupid too.  Make sure you marry an ugly woman that can cook....