Wazzup wit da BSB lately?
Thanks to our good friend BuBBa who got us
this nifty mini video cam, we were able to get the inside
scoop on the latest conference meeting with the BSB and a
Jive rep. (We'll call him Fred to protect the
innocent.)
Fred: So boys, how's the new album coming
along?
AJ: Dude, its gonna be killer. It's a double
CD you know.
Fred: Yes, I was aware of that AJ, I was
more interested in how the songs are coming...
Brian: Yeah! Double CD! You know that counts
as 2 CD sales? We're all bout it up in here Up in
here...we're gonna show everybody who's boss. Boo-ya!
Fred: sighs and scratches his head
Wonderful. What song writers accompanied you all on the
album?
AJ: AlbumS Fred. Plural. Remember that.
Fred: muttering something to himself
Yes Albums sorry.
Howie: Well..we got Max Martin.
Fred: Fantastic! And??
the room falls silent and crickets begin
chirping. The only other noise is coming from Nick who's
knawing furosiously on the eraser of his No. 2 pencil.
Brian: OH! I helped too.
Fred: Great! On how many songs Brian?
Brian: Uh one..
Fred: Well, I guess thats better than
nothing. I'm sure this one will be as good as "The Perfect
Fan" so no need to worry...
Brian: Actually I just wrote the chorus.
Fred: Oh? who helped you with it?
Brian: Max.
Fred is about to slam his head down on the
table when suddenly theres a huge THUD. They all look over
to see that Nick has fallen backwards in his chair onto the
floor as a result of him trying to jerk the eraser out of
the pencil with his teeth. Howie rushes over to try to help
him up but Nick begins growling at him and angrily sits his
chair back in place. He sits down and grabs a handful of
pencils and starts chomping away.
Fred: I see he's dating Manduh again.
Nick: Foaming at the mouth WILLA!
WILLA Dam**t WILLA!
Fred: What?
Kevin: Manduh changed her name to Willa Ford
because she didn't want to get mistaken as Mandy Moore.
Fred: Oh I see...
Kevin: And also Mandy threatened her with a
bottle of Neutrogena.
Nick: shudders That stuff itches.
starts clawing at his face and then lets out a huge burp
that smells like burnt rubber. The room falls silent again,
Fred's face turns various shades of blue and green.
Fred: Anywho..Where have you boys been
recording the new songs? There's no record of any studio
time at Zomba..
Howie: Oh, they wouldnt let us in, so we've
been recording in my Mom's basement.
Fred: They wouldnt let you in?
Howie: They didnt recognize us.
AJ: They kept asking us what we did with
Justin. Those bloody punks, They need to be kicked up the
bum.
Fred: Um..speaking of Johnny AJ, Garth
Brook's lawyer called and the court date has been set for
the 24th of next month from where he's sueing you for your
pathetic attempt to rip off his Chris Gaines stunt.
AJ: I'll tell him what to do, He can talk to
the hand cause the face doesnt wanna hear it anymore.
Fred: Did you ever get that situation fixed
with Britney's stylist for stealing her shirt for the
Larger than Life video?
AJ: Yeah yeah... lights up a Marlboro
Fred: Oh and Kevin, no charges have been
made by Christina Aguilera for stealing her skirt at the
Men Strike Back Concert.
Kevin: Face turns blood red as he stares
at the table Thats good. I'm uh..sorry bout that.
Fred: No problem. Well boys I guess this
concludes our meeting. Good day..
Nick falls backwards in his chair again as the
others walk out the door, leaving him alone in the room.