•9•9•99• All Access
•What was going on behind the scenes..•
Nsync's tour bus, Mtv has just called asking them to perform on the show. Lance answered it on the speaker phone.
Lance: "Yeah sure we'll do it, right guys?" All the guys nod thier heads.
Mtv person: "Great! Well youll be performing with Britney Spears..." Just then Justin lunges for the phone but JC and Joey are able to hold him back.
Justin:"LEMME GO! LET ME GO! IM NOT GONNA SING WIT HER *censored* *beeeeeeeeeeeeep*" JC puts his hand over Justin's mouth.
JC:"We'll do it." and they hung up the phone.
Justin:"WHAT THE *censored*?? JC you know dey be sayin I be datin her an stuff and dat *censored* seventeen article didnt help! *censored**censored**censored**censored*......
JC: "JUSTIN calm down...We have to perform! The Backstreet Boys are performing. We have to WIN!" All the guys stand there in silence and stare at JC.
Joey: "But I thought we were friends with them?"
JC: "What the? Joey shut up! Youre stupid man!" JC starts spazzing out on Joey and smacking him.
Justin: "Yo I gotta stay away from da cameras yo I dont wanna hafta answer no questions or nothin."
Lance:"But Justin you cant stay away from the cameras!! Youre JUSTIN!"
Chris:"Hey Ill answer all the questions.."
Others:"NO!"
Justin: "JC can sing his part. I dont wanna sing. I wanna stay away from everything. Please fellas?"
JC: "OK but who are they gonna show the most while we're performing?"
Chris:"Yeah we need a young..blonde.." All the guys look at Lance.
Lance: "What? NO! I-i cant!"
JC: "YES! Come on Lance we're gonna make you the popular one." The others start dragging Lance to the back of the bus.
Justin: "Yo Lance, Can you say Wazzup wit dat?"
Lance: "AAAHHH Joey HELP!"
The Pre-Show
Nsync gets out of thier limo and walk up to Carson.
Lance: "Justin why did you give me these glasses to wear?"
Justin: "Becuz Nick Carter used ta wear glasses like dat an' you gotta copy him like I did...wait did I jus say dat?"
Carson: "Hey guys welcome to the show."
JC: (whispering to Carson) "Are we on now?"
Carson:"No man..Theyre still showing Kurt and Serena.."
JC: "YEAH BABY WE'RE GONNA KICK SOME MAJOR *censored* TONIGHT!"
Carson:"Yeah man..ok. Im sure youll be able to find you some acid tonight or something.."
JC: "Cool!"
Chris:"They just got that on camera JC!"
JC:"WHAT?!?"
Chris:"HAHAHA just playin man, AAAH NO DONT HURT ME!" JC jumps on Chris IDMC style.
Carson: "Ok umm guys..I think they want you over there to umm..*shrugs* ahh nevermind"
Then BSB get out of thier limo. They see Nsync and both groups start yelling at each other. Then Nsync walks off to do thier interview.
Carson:(to BSB) "So guys...how's it goin?"
Nick: "WHAT ARE THEY DOIN HERE?"
Carson: "Uhh..theyre nominated."
Nick: (throws his hands in the air) "They ALWAYS gotta copy us!"
Carson:"Yeah..ok..So Brian I see you brought youre aunt."
Leighanne:"Youre aunt is here sweetie? I wanna like meet her!"
Brian: "Shes not my *censored* aunt!"
Carson: "And people wonder why I hate boybands..So guys what do you have in store for us tonight?"
AJ:"Yoooo dude we got some hunnies in leather gonna be dancin wit us. Its gonna be PHAT!"
Carson:"Whats wrong with him?"
Howie:"Oh AJ? *wink* He's just drunk! *wink, nod, drool*
Kevin: "Yeah we got...girls...dancing..and we're...gonna sing and..yeah...leather..leather girls.."
Carson:"Is he drunk too?"
Howie: "No thats just Kevin. He's always like that.*wink*"
On to the Show...
Justin: "AY YO! Ba--wit da BA da' BANG DA BANG DIGGY DIGGY DIGGY! (JC slaps him upside the head) YO you pmsing or sumpthin man?"
Jc: "Stop actin like an idiot!"
Justin: (sinks down in his chair and pouts.) I bet Nick dont get treated like dis by Brian."
JC: "Why you little...(starts choking Justin)
Chris: "HEY HEY MAN! Stop choking my retirement fund!!"
Then Chris Rock starts talking about how there isnt any cool white guys anymore..While theyre showing Eminem, Justin stands up and starts jumping up and down.
Justin: "YEAAAAAH Put da camera on me!! OVA HERE!" The others start hiding behind the benches.
AJ: "Yoooo..whats that lil freak doin?"
Brian: "He's a *censored* queer!"
Leighanne: Like Oh my gosh honey that host man person just said Backstreet Boys!"
Brian: "WHAT?"
Chris: "HA HAHA HAHA Yeah who wants to be a Backstreet Boy HA HA HA You go CHRIS! YEAH!" All of NSYNC is laughing hysterically when the cameras turn on them.
JC: "AHHH stop! stop! shut up yall! be cool!"
Nick:"Hey are they laughin at us?? (stands up) HEY YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME?"
Justin: "Oh Gawd no!"
Chris: "It would have to be just a PIECE!"
Lance: (starts laughing) Hey guys he just said something about one of the BSB getting Britney pregnant."
Justin: (sits back down) Please dont show me..Please God no..Please God NO.."
Brian: "WHAT THE??? Why did he say US? we hate her! Hey dont put those cameras over here!"
Howie:"Just make some weird face at em Bri *wink*"
Leighanne:"Brian..Is there something youre not telling me??"
Brian:"OH WOULD YOU SHUT UP!"
Kid Rock, Aerosmith, and Run DMC are performing.
AJ:"Yooooo..We need to do sumpthin like dat!"
Howie: "No way man! *wink* Kid Rock dont like us. *nod*"
Brian: "Well maybe if you'd stop bein such a *censored* Pansy-*censored*"
Howie: "What? Who you callin a pansy? Im gonna *starts speaking really fast in spanish*
Brian: "WHAT? english please?"
AJ:"Yooooo..he's gonna whip yo *censored* 'rok!"
BSB goes backstage to get ready for thier performance. AJ wanders off by himself while the others are changing clothes.
Kevin: "Where...is..Aj?"
Brian: "How the Heck do I know???"
Kevin: "God man whats youre problem tonight?"
Brian: "NOTHIN Leave me alone!" Brian stomps out of the room.
AJ, still wandering around the hall, walks into a dressing room.
AJ: "Yoooo..these clothes are phat! Dis is gotta be our wardrobe yo..I wonder where the others are...hmmm oh well." He grabs a shirt while Howie walks by.
Howie: "AJ! What are you doing in here? Come on man and get youre trench coat! Hurry!"
The guys go put on their "Larger than Life" outfits and then they all meet behind the stage just in time to put on their trenchcoats and go out on stage. Brian, Kevin, Howie and Nick are all impaitiently waiting on AJ Then he finally comes running up to them with that forsaken midrift shirt on. All the guys are in shock.
Brian: "What the *censored* do you have on??"
AJ: "Yooooo I got dis in that dressing room that Howie dragged me out of"
Howie: "AJ! That was Britney Spear's dressing room!!" Brian, Kevin and Nick slap thier foreheads and mumble.
Aj: "Yooo thats why its so big in the chest area then..."
Stage director person: "5 seconds guys!"
Brian:"Argh! He doesnt have time to change! Go guys just go!"
The Boys go out and stand on thier little platform thingy and start singing "I want it that way Then, They take off thier trenchcoats and start singing "Larger than Life" The audience is in shock. Especially Britney. While Nsync is dying laughing.
Britney: (Stands up and starts pointing) "THATS MY SHIRT!! HE STOLE MY SHIRT!!"
Joey: "Aj is dating Britney now?"
Justin: "Oh please God let it be true!! please!"
JC and Chris continue to laugh when Chris suddenly stops.
Chris:"Hey..why dont we have dancing leather girls?"
JC: "Hmmm..Ill tell Johnny to get us some for our next tour."
BSB finish thier song and go backstage. Howie, Brian and Kevin are mumbling about Aj's shirt, Nick is trying to find food and Aj has passed out in the middle of the floor. Then Britney and NSYNC go backstage to get ready for thier performance. Britney sees Justin and runs over to him and hugs him. Justin almost dies of suffocation from the silicon.
Britney:"JUSTIN!! I havent seen you all night! I thought you werent here. (giggle) Like I thought you were ignoring me! (snort, giggle)"
Justin:"Brit..let go..*wheeez* c-c-cant b-r--eathe *cough* *hack* Guys..hel..p me!"
Britney: (stops hugging Justin) "Did you say something?"
Justin's face is turning diffrent shades of blue and green.
Britney: "Oh my gosh youre getting sick! You cant get sick..Not when youre performing with me!! (Grabs Aj's bottle of Jack Daniels) Here take this.(pours it down Justin's throat.)"
JC: "Oh my GOD! Justin!! Stop! Give me that young man! (grabs the bottle away from Justin and walks off guzzling the rest of it down.)
By this time Britney has managed to get Justin drunk and drag him in another room.
TJ: "Hey Chris where is Britney?"
Chris:"How do I *censored* know..Probably off *censoring* Justin."
TJ: "Like whats youre problem dude? I just asked a question no need to get all freaked out on me! (Does a 'Talk to the hand' type thing and walks off)
Chris:"God Im too old for this..."
Lance: "Hey Chris where's TJ?"
Chris:"Why do you wanna know?"
Lance: "Uhh..Ummmm I just ummm nevermind...(hangs his head down and walks off)"
Joey: (to Chris) "What did you say to him man? He looks like he's gonna cry."
Chris:"Nothin! He just asked where TJ was."
Joey:"So?"
Chris:"Sooo..TJ's a lil odd..."
Joey:"Huh?"
Chris:"You know hes..like..you know..fairy dust and tinkerbell-ish.."
Joey:"Hey I like Peter Pan! Whats so odd about that?"
Chris:"He's a Flaming Homosexual!!"
Joey:"Oh..why didnt you say so?"
By now JC has finished off the last of Aj's Liquor. AJ has woke up and is wandering around backstage. He meets up with JC and they realize that they have a lot in common and they wander off somewhere until Nsync's performance.
Stage Director: "Ok all the dancers are on stage..Lance, Joey, Chris..you guys go on out..where are the others? and where is Britney???"
Chris:"Umm Britney and Justin are more than likely together and JC is umm..where is JC?"
Lance and Joey shrug thier shoulders.
JC: (running in behind them) "HERE I AM!!! Are we ready to rock da show?!??!?!"
Chris, Joey and Lance:(staring at JC's huge tattoo on his arm) "Oh my god!"
Lance:"I thought you were afraid of needles!"
JC:"Hey..man when youre as feel as I am you dont drunk no pain ya know?"
Stage Director:"Ok places everyone..Where are Justin and Britney!"
JC:"Check the closet..yo hee hee hee I said 'yo' Hey man YO!! HAHAHAHA thats funny..Yo.."
Chris:"Now I remember why we dont let him drink.."
Then Britney and Justin come piling out of the closet. Britney's hair is messed up of course. Justin is in tears.
Britney:"Oh my God am I late?? Justin why did you keep me in there that long!"
Justin:"WHUT?!? You g-g-got me drunk and t-t-ied me up an would-d-dnt lemme go *sniff*"
Britney: (going on stage) "Yeah but nobodys gonna believe that.."
Everyone goes out on stage, Justin stays as far away from Britney as possible...which is why he was over in that corner during the performance. BSB wins the viewer's choice award, but JC is still to drunk and high off the acid the tattoo guy gave him to make him stop screaming, to care. They all went to the same party afterwards. Britney managed to attack Justin again...TJ and Lance talked about thier "false accusations". JC finally sobered up and realized that BSB won an award and they didnt so he tried to steal thiers so that got NSYNC thrown out of the party. and so the battle continues...=)
THE END
Back 2 Main