I used to be very bitter about the fact that I was never succesfull with girls. I never could develope a romance like I wanted. I must confess that the first 3 semesters and also part of the 4th, it was a very selfish impulse which I yielded to. My parents told me that I should just be friends first. But no. Wanted to have that peculiar "hole" inside of me filled. Its very laughable to look back on it all. I would scheme and plot to somehow get a girlfriend, but always to no avail.

I was called a nice guy by alot of people and developed the "nice guy" complex. I would go into depressions over the whole girl thing. One thing I hated was the saying, "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." I my view at the time loving and losing was the gateway to despair. In reality I didn't know what love was, and depaired so easily because I couldn't satisfy that selfish longing. It was a good thing I was so unsuccessful in my attempts. I probably would have ended up using the girl I "got" as an emotional crutch more than anything else.

My semetser in Gamimg, Austria helped me to see clearly. Especially the talk with Emily Bloomfield and the advice of Daniel Fusco and Stephen at the I.A.P. Lichenstein. I thank God I no longer will have to deal with those aweful depressions of self-pity. I have taken St. Faustina's words to heart and will entrust my future into the hands of Divine Providence. I will try to be a good friend to all my female aquaintences and if something developes, I will try my best to deal with the situation with prudence and patience.

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