"With eyes completely open, but nervous all the same."
--Absolute Beginners, David Bowie

So this is very late - I was asked to hold on the posting of this entry (it should read 04.16.02, or maybe earlier).

Now, the first thing you need to know is that my roommate is not gay. He sings, he dances, but he's not gay. Keep that in mind as I tell the story.

The night this took place, Chris' friend Robert was over. I was listening to music while they studied French or something, and just generally ignored them. At some point, there were preparations made for sleep, and I came to the realization that Robert had been sexiled. This explained a lot. The both of them sleeping in Chris' bed was not really of interest to me, except for a brief wondering of how comfortable that would be. Some odd noises from the other side of the room provided the answer "Not very."

Later that night, still doing normal geeky computer stuff, Daniel IMs me asking if he can come down to print out a paper. A brief warning about sleeping people was issued, which got Daniel rather confused about Robert's being there. I explained that he was "prolly sexiled or something." And so, Daniel began his downward journey. I left the door open for him so he wouldn't have to knock. When he got here, I did a quick check to see how asleep Chris and Robert seemed. What I saw almost made me burst out laughing.

They were spooning.

I managed to get myself out into the hall with Daniel before making any real noise. Whilst choking down my own laughter, I explained to him what they were doing. He literally fell over. Eventually regaining our senses, we decided that the one thing that needed to happen was that someone needed to take a picture of them sleeping like that. Straight guys spooning is funny. The only problem was that my camera was locked in a high cabinet.

Cue the Mission: Impossible theme.

Open the door. Move the chair to the cabinet. Stand on the chair. Daniel holds the door open for light. Try the combination. Try the combination. Try the combination. Try the goddamn combination... Not enough light apparently, which was compounded by Daniel having to close the door everytime people passed by so they wouldn't wake the two up. Eventually, the camera was acquired, and we extracted to the hallway to prepare it.

Opening the door, we saw Robert sitting up on the bed, rubbing at his eyes. Mission aborted. Back out to the hallway for some more laughter and "Damn!"s. Robert came out, pushed past us, went away. I figured that we had bad timing, his sexiling being over at that point. Returning to the room to print his paper after all that, we found Chris rather dejected looking. Lights came on since no one was sleeping, and some tentative jokes were made about the situation. After a minute or two, Daniel and I (with some prompting) realized that, despite being present through the entire event, we had missed absolutely everything.

At this point, Kate burst in and was like "You idiots, Chris is gay, and you just outed him in an accidental and extremely embarrasing way!" Ok, that didn't really happen. Maybe she appeared in a metaphorical way, if she represents our thought procceses clicking into a conclusion. Mostly, she just wanted to be in the story.

So we realized that on our own, without Kate. Chris and Robert had been awake the whole time, and fully aware of what they were doing. The reason that Robert ran out was because he's kind of in denial about his sexuality and afraid we were going to out him or something and blah blah blah. Apologies to Chris were fairly constant from that point on into the next few days, so not really mentioning those.

Next came Chris' Coming Out Party, subtitled "Wherein three college students participate in the consumption of alcoholic beverages until Chris is good and smashed." You probably guessed that. Was lots of fun, comforting for Chris because we didn't think any differently towards him, and comforting for us because if Chris decided to tear us a collective new one (and rightfully so) he would be too drunk to catch us. And I have pictures for the RAs. You hear that Chris?

End Chapter 1. Begin Chapter 2: The Revenge. This is the part where karma bites us in the ass. The next weekend, Sasha came to visit. In honor of her arrival, I received the Neon Genesis Evangelion Perfect Collection DVD box set. There was to be much watching of anime that weekend. Sasha, Daniel, Chris, Robert, and I (Robert having recently been convinced that it was safe to be around us) watched through the first DVD on Daniel's PS2. Everyone enjoyed, much fun was had by all, and nothing could go wrong. Or so we thought. Well, we didn't really even think about it, but if you had asked, we would have said nothing could go wrong. Or maybe gotten confused and worried. Either way... Robert moves towards the door and sets off a nasty, if short, chain reaction. Foot pulls controller, controller pulls cord, cord pulls PS2 off shelf, PS2 lands smack on the tray. Stunned silence. Daniel and I scramble for the machine, while Robert vows never to set foot in the room again. After much prying and wondering where the small plastic pieces belonged, we got the DVD out. The laser had cut a nice deep groove around one side of the disc, and the other was scratched up parallel to that. Oh goody. Further experimentation informed us that neither the DVD nor the PS2 functioned anymore. Major suckage.

Little did I know that Chris and Robert's revenge was not yet complete. Later that weekend, Chris returned tit for tat in a surgical strike so perfectly executed and so complimentary that I could feel nothing but respect and admiration even as my mind attempted to recover from the attack. Chris walked in on me. You should need no clarifiers in that sentence. Supposedly, he wouldn't be back for another hour and a half at the earliest. Tricksy bastard. When the door opened, we went through the brief freeze of general panic that you know is never actually a good idea. Then scrambling for clothing and blankets, all of which was on the floor and out of reach. Chris retreated to the hall, laughing, which we proceeded to do as well. Not go in the hall, laugh. Moron.

So that's the story of how... well, you know what its about. Unless you're some kind of freak that reads my entries from the bottom up. Which is creepy, so go away.

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