"I Wanna Get Lost In Your Rock And Roll And Drift Away"
--Drift Away, Dobie Gray

So I'm all done with jury duty, and I wish I wasn't. Which is sort of odd. Most people seem to avoid it like the plague, if the plague were something you could avoid with lame excuses or by pretending not to speak English. Well, they're silly. Or maybe they just have jobs that pay them more than $40 a day for 8 hours of work. Whatever. The point remains that I wish I could have jury duty for a job. It's 9-5, with an hour to an hour and a half for lunch, and at least one 20-30 minute break. And all you have to do is sit in a chair for eight hours and read or do whatever else you want. Sometimes you have to listen for your name. And if you do hear your name, you go to another room and answer a questionnaire, and then the judge dismisses you because a lawyer didn't want you, and you go back to the main room and read more. If, for some reason, you get picked, then you listen to people for a week or so and then argue with people. Yes it's below minimum wage, but it's not like you're putting in any effort. There's a Subway, Pizza Hut, and most importantly Wendy's across the street from the courthouse. And I like reading books. I could totally bring my backpack and a CD player and some RPG books and plan campaigns and stuff while I'm there. Hell, if I could sneak players in, I could probably run one there. Maybe I should just start asking people if they want to learn how to play - you know, in this hypothetical situation of mine.

On the subject of Wendy's, Frostys are god. Much like Johnny Cash. I guess the relationship is that if Johnny Cash was converted to a number on a scale of cool, and that number converted to a taste, it would taste like Frostys. Cuz if you converted Johnny Cash directly to a taste, it'd prolly be old-man-taste. Or like, fire and wood and dirt and blood, and dry air in your mouth. Or something. Anyway, Frostys. I can't explain them. They're irrationally cool. There are ice creams that taste better. There are plain chocolate ice creams that are better. And really, when you look at it, the stuff is sort of disgusting. It's almost pink. It looks like the surface of a tongue, with tastebuds and everything. When it starts to melt, it bubbles. When I think about it, it starts to frighten me. But on the other hand, it's a Frosty, and that wins out over everything else.

There were a few interesting moments the first of the three days that really made me decide I would like jury duty. They play a video all about jury duty that starts out with the history of the concept, and starts with period renditions of trial by ordeal. There were thatched roof cottages and chain mail, and I almost laughed because it was so random. Also should be noted, I like jury duty because it's an excuse to dress up. Later in the day, all of a sudden, the speakers came on. I didn't know there really were speakers. And they're playing Drift Away, by Dobie Gray, so I sang along and tapped my feet while I read. And then the song ended, station ID, and the radio goes off. That's it. No reason whatsoever. Much fun.

So I'm walking back from Wendy's with my Frosty, humming Drift Away as I cross the street, and I realize that this would be a perfect time for me to die, or for the world to end, or something like that. Not in any morbid kind of way. It's just that it was good. If I had wound up at the Pearly Gates with St. Peter standing in front of me (which is odd, because that would mean that the Christians, and prolly the Catholics, were right and I should be in the other place, but I won't tell them that), and he asked me to relate my life so he could decide whether I got in, I'd simply say, "Look, I was crossing the street, eating a Frosty and humming Drift Away, all dressed up with no place to go. You make the call." And just like that, I'd be in to Rock 'n' Roll Heaven.

Where the hell did Rock 'n' Roll Heaven come from? I know Empire Records, but before that? No clue. It would be interesting if Heaven were actually like a really exclusive club, and you could stand around outside and hope that someone you knew was already in and would wave you through, or that you had arrived with enough cute girls that they'd let you in. Or that maybe, just maybe, you were cool enough to get in on your own.

I saw someone I knew at jury duty. The woman was calling names for a panel, and she said "Matthew Chaze," and my first thought was "It's pronounced Chase, and he's the goofiest kid you've ever met." And it was him. I went to grade school with him. This kid loved Star Trek, even wore his Starfleet uniform to school sometimes. He had all the serial numbers of everything memorized. One of his most prized possessions was an autographed picture of the Snapple Lady. When we got discharged, he had lost his Juror ID card. Typical. I yelled out, "I can't believe you lost your card Matthew, you goofy Star Trek loving fuck." In my head at least - he was embarrased enough.

My name got called once for a panel, but I was eliminated during the voir dire. Very sad, since it was a criminal case and would have kept me in cash for at least a week. Ah well. On the bright side, I got to see some of the lameass excuses that people use to get off jury duty, and I got to see the Court Clerk fall asleep during the questioning. That was hilarious. He woke up when the phone rang, and looked around to see if anyone noticed. He met eyes with me, who was trying not to laugh, and he gives me a little smile, and then leaves the room for a bit. Hopefully to get coffee.

There was this one industrial looking chick at Central Jury in a Frontline hoodie and green Docs. Kinda cute, not my type. Whatever. Wasn't gonna push through crowds and lines just to talk to her anyway. But after I'm discharged on the last day, I'm heading out and walk by her on line for the metal detectors. And as I go by, I say "Frontline Assembly, good stuff." She turns and gives me a "Wha? Huh?" look, which was not quite the "Who is that dashing young man with the excellent musical taste?" look I would have liked, but whatever. Score one for bravery.

There's a GIANT blue sign at Main Street that says "Korea Air - Our job is to bring you smile." That's funny.

Also, because I'm a geek like that: Character Quiz, and a preview of a Map I'm working on for a Changeling TT this summer. You know you want to play.

And then there was a riot.

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