One way I relate to the conception, the creation and the dynamic of a successful play scene is as an artistic creation. I see myself as the artist, the driver of the creation, with particular ideas, idiosyncrasies, and preferences.
The submissive is the medium with which I design the art. I see this medium as a form of a canvas... not a bland, white, neutral canvas, but a canvas with textures; coarseness here, smoothness there, with shades, and with edges. The canvas has to be one that is in alignment with my style.
If the canvas has too much coarseness, it might not hold the vision of my design of the scene. If the canvas has too much smoothness, it might not be able to handle the intensity of the color of my play. If the canvas has its own colors on it, they might not blend with the colors I choose to use.
I have a variety of tools to I enjoy using, and a variety of agendas for a scene. My choice of a partner would depend on the result I desire. If I want to create a soft, warm, sensual scene, I'd certainly choose a woman.
If I want an intense, vibrant scene of control and edge-play, I'd choose someone I know enjoys that kind of play; one who will trust me to take them to MY edges, and who I trust to be willing to surrender himself to me totally.
The type of canvas that an individual is will change, often dramatically, from one play scene to another. It is determined by where they are at that moment... The canvas that a person is when they first begin to play is dramatically different from the canvas they are after playing for a few months or years. Experiences and traumas will have an impact on the type of canvas a person is.
Here are examples of some of the canvases it's been my pleasure to create with:
The canvas was a beautiful young woman, new to the scene. She was participating in a demo with me, and was very anxious about what was going to happen. My assurances that she would enjoy herself went unheeded, until we began to play. She offered me trust and submission, in spite of her fears and anxiety. As we played, I was careful to avoid pushing her too hard, or going too fast. I wanted to enjoy her enjoying what I was doing. And I certainly enjoyed her responses, as did those who were watching the demo.
The canvas was a man who had many years of experience playing with an assortment of dominant women. He dreamed about having a s/m relationship. He wondered if I was capable of the kind of sadistic play he craved. He offered me an opportunity to explore more deeply into the realm of my sadism as well as to experiment with the idea of a contracted relationship. We took the scenes to the edges of where we both could play.
The canvas was a man I had played with often. He was a serious masochist who enjoyed restrictive bondage and severe pain. Together, we designed and built a sculpture of sensation, pain, and intensity through the use of clamps, restriction and needles. The specter of the sculpture seemed to captivate him far more severely than any of the iron or leather or ropes that were used to restrict his body.
The canvas was a young man who had been in the scene for a while. He enjoyed being flogged and dominated, though he did want to maintain a certain amount of control. He was able to assume a totally submissive nature, even while requesting that control. One particularly memorable scene involved virtually no pain, but severe intensity. Before the scene, I'd shown him a video that I thought he would enjoy. There was one scene in the video that he focused on. As we played, the video was the furthest thing from my mind. However, I inadvertently made a statement that made him think what happened in the video was going to happen to him. In spite of his instant and intense fear, he continued to stay in the scene, to the enjoyment of both of us.
The canvas was a lovely, young woman who was well in touch with her own sensuality. We engaged in primarily sensation play, both of us delighting in the many exciting aspects of her body. Although I wasn't playing sexually with her, there were definite sensual overtones to the way I played with her body. Her energy built, and she manifested the sexuality that she is, and as she reached a crescendo, she filled the room with intense, palpable, sexual energy.
Sometimes, the design of the play is dictated by circumstances. Often, it is dictated by the limits of either the dominant or the submissive. I find it difficult to play with those who have narrow edges, who want to control or direct the play, or who can't surrender.
This isn't about experience or depth of play... I have had many novice submissives surrender to me even though they were frightened. I've also played with a submissive who had recently dealt with a major trauma, and it was appropriate to have her direct the scene. I've also met experienced submissives who need to direct the scenes they are in. And I suggest to them that they find someone else to play with. There are a lot of aspects of play that delight other people, but hold no fascination for me; humiliation play, playing sexually, water sports, etc. I don't enjoy playing with s.a.m.'s, nor do I like those who are passive-aggressive in their play. I ALWAYS respect safe-words, but I don't like to be argued with or questioned in a scene.
I require surrender... always within the boundaries of the negotiations... but surrender nevertheless. I require trust... both from the submissive and toward the submissive. I enjoy edge-play, taking the submissive to what they think is the limit, then pushing a little further. I enjoy playing with sensation and finding new ways to torment and stimulate a submissive. I enjoy playing with novices... taking them into the never-place and watching over them while they explore the new territory. Each type of play requires a different kind of canvas... and each is equally pleasurable for me.
Copyright 1994 by Mistress Kassandra Kane
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