Top-N features you'd like to see on Tamagotchi Virtual Pets...
(drumroll, please...)
1. The 'Jump over the fence and shit in neighbour's garden' feature.
Submitted: Dangerman
2. The feature that lets the unit attatch itself to visitors' legs and
hump furiously.
Submitted: Dangerman
3. The 'Bulldog Tamagotchi', complete with unpleasant child-scaring
genitals dangling beneath it.
Submitted: Dangerman
4. Special edition Fairground Tamagotchi, available only on
Get-a-bent-dart-on-an-impossible-selection-of-cards stalls. Guaranteed
to die the next day. Flushable.
Submitted: Dangerman
5. Make him fart in his guestbook
Submitted: Death Fudd
6. The ability to eat small children
Submitted: ChAoS
7. the jurassic park version of the dinkie dino model of tamagotchi. It
goes berzerk!
Submitted: ChAoS
8. The 'eat the leftovers' feature
Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
9. The napalm button
Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
10. More that 3 ferking buttons!!!!!
Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
11. (of course, who needs a real Tamagotchi when you've got a perfectly
good one online at http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palms/8821 ?
Oh, I see. Fair enough)
Submitted: Dangerman
12. One I can't break by committing the ultimate destructive sin of
pressing one of the buttons. I swear I'm cursed with these damn
things.
Submitted: Dangerman
13. Pull my finger
Submitted: The Mad Farter
14. The SBD button. (silent but Deadly) Works great in class or at work in
a crowded room.
Submitted: The Mad Farter
15. Chew your new rabbit fur earmuffs.
Submitted: Sailor Earth
16. Giga Sex Slave with the new spank, "hurt," dominate, and seduce
options.
Submitted: Sailor Earth
17. Escape and disappear under the floorboards feature.
Submitted: Jinxster
18. Die in the night and be found next morning by it's three year old
owner.
Submitted: Jinxster
19. Or be tortured to death by said three year old owner.
Submitted: Jinxster
20. Get torn to bits by your pet cat Tamagotchi feature.
Submitted: Jinxster
21. Pit Bull Tamagotchi: Inflicts virtual injuries on any visitor to your
home. While you sit back and grin sadistically: "Don't worry, he's
just being friendly!"
Submitted: Jinxster
22. The 'self-destruct' button. Or in the case of #12, any button.
Submitted: Just Me
23. The 'stare into space and drool' button.
Submitted: Just Me
24. The 'bark all night at imaginary bad guys' button.
Submitted: Just Me
25. How about a "game" that consists of something other than guessing
whether the Pet will turn left or right? I had one of these things,
and I let it die repeatedly of depression rather than play that stupid
game with it.
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home)
26. #25: How about the 'Let it play with itself button.' It turns around
for 5 minutes and returns with a big grin on its face. If the button's
pressed too much, the pet ends up blind.
Submitted: Tec42(lost@c)
27. 'Infect Pet' button, with choice of rabies, mad pet disease, E. bola,
leproy, and exploding head disease.
Submitted: Tec42(lost@c)
28. 'Give Drugs' button, with choice of heroin, cocaine, weed, and LSD.
Submitted: Tec42(lost@c)
29. Drown in toilet.
Submitted: Tec42(lost@c)
30. Hawaiian Roast Tamagotchi button.
Submitted: Tec42(lost@c)
31. Ability to download it into someone's computer, rendering the entire
system completely useless.
Submitted: Tec42(lost@c)
32. The ability to cause its owner to have sneezing fits and other violent
allergic reactions.
Submitted: TiGar
33. Ability to chase and catch virtual cars.
Submitted: Powerplant
34. How about a Virtual Goddess toy for Wiccans? (Wiccans kick ass!) You
know, one that creates the earthen beings, takes on the form of the
oak tree, and melds with the God.
Submitted: MoonSong
35. Ability to cough up huge hairballs on your annoying sibling's favorite
shirt.
Submitted: Bytch
36. Ability to shed everywhere.
Submitted: Bytch
37. #34: I think the Virtual Peasant Farmer would be more interesting. You
get to kick him, burn his house down, raise the taxes to something
phenomenally high, sell his children off as slaves. If you torment him
too much, he and a bunch of his virtual friends come along and kick
your ass.
Submitted: Tec42(gotlotsawiccanfriends)
38. The "Put it out of it's misery button" so you don't have to listen to
it beep at 7 in the morning until it dies by itself.
Submitted: Figment
39. Werewolf feature.
Submitted: Pandora n'ha Karen(@Darkover)
40. "Cujo" feature (thanks, Stephen King!)
Submitted: Pandora n'ha Karen(@Darkover)
41. Pit bull, rottweiler or doberman...take your pick!
Submitted: Pandora n'ha Karen(@Darkover)
42. Tamagotchi veterenary kit, complete with a battery to transplant.
Submitted: ChAoS
43. Tamagotchi veterenary kit, complete with a battery to transplant.
Submitted: ChAoS
44. The if you don't shut up in 3 seconds... this hammer and you
screen.... button
Submitted: Chris Robin
45. #37 Are you Wiccan? (I am, and I'm planning a hell of a Samhain
festival) By the way, how about a Virtual Lord of the Dance, with a
16-bit image of that faggot Michael Flatley? You get to dress him in
tight-ass leather pants, paint his face, give him a fresh towel after
performances...
Submitted: MoonSong
46. Or possibly, a Virtual Druid Sacrifice game. Mothers around the world
already worry when their children execute ants with magnifying
glasses. Sacrificing microchips to Tuatarra would give them cardiac
arrest. (I *like* that.)
Submitted: MoonSong
47. Three Words: Virtual Implant Clinic. Collect and trade! Virtual
rhinoplasty, virtual commercial dentistry, and best of all, virtual,
um, enlargements.
Submitted: MoonSong
48. Virtual Anti-Christian, from MoonSongToys, Inc. The little virtual pet
is a little catholic schoolboy who gets his God-fearing ass kicked by
angry Wiccans. My kinda game.
Submitted: MoonSong
49. #42: Virtual Cow, complete with Virtual Vet kit and long rubber glove.
Submitted: Dangerman
50. The "Chopper, Sic Balls" button for when those damn kids break into
your virtual junkyard
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@stand.by.me)
51. The "Get the hell off of TOPN" game, where insecure wiccans get the
shit beat out of them by regulars because all they seem to be able to
post are unhumorous "Up with Wicca" type entries.
Submitted: Jean-Pierre
52. The virtual Tak! It corrupts small towns and sends reality to
damnation - rots to damn fast thou.
Submitted: Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
53. #51-Tsk. Typical Christian. I'll ignore that, thank you very much.
Submitted: MoonSong
54. Actually, I'm Agnostic, Fuck you very much
Submitted: Jean-Pierre
55. Children, come on now, play nicely...
Submitted: Dangerman
56. The sound-sensitive version, responds to vocal commands, e.g. "GET OFF
THE F***ING COUCH!!!"
Submitted: Dangerman
57. #54 - Antagonistic more like
Submitted: Mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
58. _THE_ button!
Submitted: Mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
59. A big red button that says STOP
Submitted: Mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
60. A pause button
Submitted: Mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
61. 3 more buttons - Ctrl - Alt - Delete
Submitted: Mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
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Last updated: Tue 16 Sep 97 20:28:27
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