Lach mal wieder !!!!

Gamer's Lexicon

This is a gamer's lexicon that has been compiled over the course of my campaign world's existence. Enjoy!

DM Dungeon Master. The guy (or girl) who runs the game. Can be recognized by
the look of insane glee on his face as the PCs are wasted, FUBARed, BOIDed,
or BOHICAed by the bad guys.

PC Player Character. The character run by the player.

NPC Non-Player Character. A character run by the DM. Occasionally, players will
be given an NPC to keep track of, escpecially when that NPC is very closely
associated with a particular PC.

Monster,
Wandering Anything which may or may not attack the PCs.

Monster Replace the word "Monster" with "Experience Points.

FUBAR Acronym for F#&^ed Up Beyond All Recognition. Usually applied to
something that's just been nuked, but not necessarily killed (that would be
too kind).

BOID Acronym for Bend Over, I'm Driving. Usually applied to something that's
been FUBARed twice.

BOHICA Acronym for Bend Over, Here It Comes Again. Usually applied to
something that's been BOIDed, then FUBARed.

Zot Incantation for unleashing a devastating ranged magical attack, usually
lightning. Casting time of 1/10 segment.

Wasted Slang for something that hasn't quite been FUBARed, but may soon be.
Also applies to a gamer who's spent too much time (i.e., 24 hours or more)
gaming.

Gamer Anyone who plays role-playing games.

Ooops The one word you never want to hear when playing a game.

Player An actual, living, breathing, sometimes bleeding person who runs a character
(called a PC) in a role-playing game. Can be recognized by the martyred
looks thrown towards the DM as his/her character is FUBARed.

Nailed Slang for a highly successful attack on some hostile. As in, "I nailed him with
my vorpal two-handed sword! Yaayy!"

Gronk Term used to describe a half-ogre's favorite attack form: Grab an opponent's
leg with each hand, lift, and make a wish.

Scragged Any attack which reduces its target to a red (or yellow, or green) smear on
the nearest surface.

Quaheinous (Kwa-Hayn-us!) Term used to describe an especially spectacular FUBAR,
BOID, and BOHICA (combined). The phrase, "I'm going quaheinous on
him!" is usually shouted as a warning to the object of the speaker's ire - so
that the person going quaheinous can see the look of abject terror on the
recipient's face.

Hostile Anything not your character.

Enemy Anything not another player.

Friend Anything utterly devoted to your character's continued free will, happiness,
and survival.

"HELP!!" A danger sign to all PCs. If your character hears this warning, run as quickly
as possible in the opposite direction. It is usually screamed by another altruistic
PC just before he or she gets slaughtered. You should thank your friend for the
warning.

Victory Synonym for "Survival."

Survival Have your character look around. If everything else in the area is reduced to its
component particles, you have achieved this state. Congratulations!

Encounter A situation in which your character will probably get wasted, FUBARed,
BOIDed, or BOHICAed. Occasionally, PCs will surprise the DM and turn the
tables on whatever's about to destroy your party.

Campaign A series of FUBARs inflicted on a select group of elite individuals, called
players, as they take on the roles of supposed heroes in hopes of a happy
outcome.

Adventure Synonym for FUBAR

Misadventure An adventure in which the players were not FUBARed.

Magic item An enchanted device which may cause inconvenience to your character, her
enemies, or more frequently, the DM. Such devices rarely last more than one
misadventure.

Mage Wimps with spells. They look cute on the end of a spear, roasted over a hot fire.

Priest A warrior's best friend. Paramedics capable of reintegrating pureed PCs. They
do tend to lecture, though.

Thieves Polish Mine Detectors (PMDs). Keep on a short leash, or in a box, until you
need them.

Warriors Idiots who run around in loincloths waving two-handed swords. Or, idiots who
wear so much armor they can't go to the bathroom easily and carry an
unrealistically-sized armory of weapons hidden in impossible bodily locations.

Bards PMDs who sing.

Paladins Warriors with a holier-than-thou attitude.

Rangers Warriors who like animals better than people. Especially sheep.

Druids Radical plants' rights terrorists. Can summon rangers by repeating "Baah!"
three times, although they hate having to shapechange to pay.

Psionicist Egghead nerds who think the mind is everything. Identifiable by the bald skull,
over-sized glasses, or repetition of, "These are not the droids you are looking
for."

Elves Pansies with two hit dice.

Dwarves Hard-headed pansies. They look best shaved completely bald.

Humans Fecund pansies.

Halflings Fat pansies who are always stealing stuff from their friends.

Death Pansy Any of several forms of hostile flora capable of instantaneously digesting a PC
during a FUBAR. This sort of monster comes in many forms and is quite stealthy
at sneaking up on unsuspecting vic...er, adventurers.

Gnomes Missile weapons who can cast spells and steal stuff.

Orcs Target practice.

Ogres Gnome-launchers.

Half-Ogres The best darn door-openers around.

Giants A professional baseball team. No relation to any role-playing game.

Vorpal Weapon A PC's best friend against any hostiles. Used frequently with the terms
"Nailed" and "Smeared."

Holy Weapon An intelligent weapon with a holier-than-thou attitude.

Merchants Smart thieves who stay at home and make characters pay exhorbitant
prices for mediocre goods. Also known as used car salesmen.

Adventurer A thief, warrior, priest, mage, paladin, ranger, or bard who goes on Adventures.
Usually a PC, but occasionally an NPC will tag along to help spread out the
damage.

Beholder One of many hostiles that, should your character end up eyeball to eyeballs with,
result in the warning cry, "HELP!!" (see above).

Lich An icky undead thing that used to be a mage or priest. Encountering one is usually
a prelude to a BOID.

Vampire Another icky undead thing that can drain levels. Encountering one is usually a
prelude to a BOHICA.

Villain Synonym for the DMs favorite hostile NPC. Identifiable by the PCs' inability to
kill him and the repeated successful BOHICAs inflicted on the PCs. Liches and
vampires make good villains.

Devil Spell components inside a skin.

Demon Experience points inside someone else's skin.

Demon Prince A demon who regards your character as a wiener, suitable for a slow cook in a
large iron pot. Add salt and pepper for flavor, but make sure to boil the dwarves
first to get all the hair off.

Dragon Giant, two to three ton lizard with more hit points than a small European nation.
Best attacked while asleep in its lair so you can slaughter it, steal all its treasure,
and go back to town to get drunk and brag about it.

Gods Think of these NPCs as loan sharks. The more interest you pay, especially if
you pay on time, the happier they are with you. The deeper in debt you get, the
more of your soul they own.

City A large population center where PCs will probably get murdered in their sleep.

Town A moderate population center where PCs will likely be forced to defend the
townspeople (see NPC above) against petty politicians, saboteurs, and
overwhelming odds with limited resources.

Village A small population center and usually the object of some overwhelming
world-threatening invasion (don't ask why). They are particularly annoying,
and exceptionally hard to defend. The best way a PC can describe a village is:
"[Village name], the armpit of this country, will quickly be obliterated by the
advancing horde of demons. So why do we have to save them?"

Special thanks to Todd Powell, Mike Maxxon, and Mike Metrovsky for some of the more colorful entries. Additional thanks to many, many players who have helped develope this vocabulary over the last 12 or so years.

Guardian@mariner.cris.com

DM	Dungeon Master. The guy (or girl) who runs the game. Can be recognized by the look of insane glee on his face as the PCs are wasted, FUBARed, BOIDed, or BOHICAed by the bad guys.
PC	Player Character. The character run by the player.
NPC	Non-Player Character. A character run by the DM. Occasionally, players will be given an NPC to keep track of, escpecially when that NPC is very closely associated with a particular PC.
Monster, Wandering	Anything which may or may not attack the PCs.
Monster	Replace the word "Monster" with "Experience Points.
FUBAR	Acronym for F#&^ed Up Beyond All Recognition. Usually applied to something that's just been nuked, but not necessarily killed (that would be too kind).
BOID	Acronym for Bend Over, I'm Driving. Usually applied to something that's been FUBARed twice.
BOHICA	Acronym for Bend Over, Here It Comes Again. Usually applied to something that's been BOIDed, then FUBARed.
Zot	Incantation for unleashing a devastating ranged magical attack, usually lightning. Casting time of 1/10 segment.
Wasted	Slang for something that hasn't quite been FUBARed, but may soon be. Also applies to a gamer who's spent too much time (i.e., 24 hours or more) gaming.
Gamer	Anyone who plays role-playing games.
Ooops	The one word you never want to hear when playing a game.
Player	An actual, living, breathing, sometimes bleeding person who runs a character (called a PC) in a role-playing game. Can be recognized by the martyred looks thrown towards the DM as his/her character is FUBARed.
Nailed	Slang for a highly successful attack on some hostile. As in, "I nailed him with my vorpal two-handed sword! Yaayy!"
Gronk	Term used to describe a half-ogre's favorite attack form: Grab an opponent's leg with each hand, lift, and make a wish.
Scragged	Any attack which reduces its target to a red (or yellow, or green) smear on the nearest surface.
Quaheinous	(Kwa-Hayn-us!) Term used to describe an especially spectacular FUBAR, BOID, and BOHICA (combined). The phrase, "I'm going quaheinous on him!" is usually shouted as a warning to the object of the speaker's ire - so that the person going quaheinous can see the look of abject terror on the recipient's face.
Hostile	Anything not your character.
Enemy	Anything not another player.
Friend	Anything utterly devoted to your character's continued free will, happiness, and survival.
"HELP!!"	A danger sign to all PCs. If your character hears this warning, run as quickly as possible in the opposite direction. It is usually screamed by another altruistic PC just before he or she gets slaughtered. You should thank your friend for the warning.
Victory	Synonym for "Survival."
Survival	Have your character look around. If everything else in the area is reduced to its component particles, you have achieved this state. Congratulations!
Encounter	A situation in which your character will probably get wasted, FUBARed, BOIDed, or BOHICAed. Occasionally, PCs will surprise the DM and turn the tables on whatever's about to destroy your party.
Campaign	A series of FUBARs inflicted on a select group of elite individuals, called players, as they take on the roles of supposed heroes in hopes of a happy outcome.
Adventure	Synonym for FUBAR
Misadventure	An adventure in which the players were not FUBARed.
Magic item	An enchanted device which may cause inconvenience to your character, her enemies, or more frequently, the DM. Such devices rarely last more than one misadventure.
Mage	Wimps with spells. They look cute on the end of a spear, roasted over a hot fire.
Priest	A warrior's best friend. Paramedics capable of reintegrating pureed PCs. They do tend to lecture, though.
Thieves	Polish Mine Detectors (PMDs). Keep on a short leash, or in a box, until you need them.
Warriors	Idiots who run around in loincloths waving two-handed swords. Or, idiots who wear so much armor they can't go to the bathroom easily and carry an unrealistically-sized armory of weapons hidden in impossible bodily locations.
Bards	PMDs who sing.
Paladins	Warriors with a holier-than-thou attitude.
Rangers	Warriors who like animals better than people. Especially sheep.
Druids	Radical plants' rights terrorists. Can summon rangers by repeating "Baah!" three times, although they hate having to shapechange to pay.
Psionicist	Egghead nerds who think the mind is everything. Identifiable by the bald skull, over-sized glasses, or repetition of, "These are not the droids you are looking for."
Elves	Pansies with two hit dice.
Dwarves	Hard-headed pansies. They look best shaved completely bald.
Humans	Fecund pansies.
Halflings	Fat pansies who are always stealing stuff from their friends.
Death Pansy	Any of several forms of hostile flora capable of instantaneously digesting a PC during a FUBAR. This sort of monster comes in many forms and is quite stealthy at sneaking up on unsuspecting vic...er, adventurers.
Gnomes	Missile weapons who can cast spells and steal stuff.
Orcs	Target practice.
Ogres	Gnome-launchers.
Half-Ogres	The best darn door-openers around.
Giants	A professional baseball team. No relation to any role-playing game.
Vorpal Weapon	A PC's best friend against any hostiles. Used frequently with the terms "Nailed" and "Smeared."
Holy Weapon	An intelligent weapon with a holier-than-thou attitude.
Merchants	Smart thieves who stay at home and make characters pay exhorbitant prices for mediocre goods. Also known as used car salesmen.
Adventurer	A thief, warrior, priest, mage, paladin, ranger, or bard who goes on Adventures. Usually a PC, but occasionally an NPC will tag along to help spread out the damage.
Beholder	One of many hostiles that, should your character end up eyeball to eyeballs with, result in the warning cry, "HELP!!" (see above).
Lich	An icky undead thing that used to be a mage or priest. Encountering one is usually a prelude to a BOID.
Vampire	Another icky undead thing that can drain levels. Encountering one is usually a prelude to a BOHICA.
Villain	Synonym for the DMs favorite hostile NPC. Identifiable by the PCs' inability to kill him and the repeated successful BOHICAs inflicted on the PCs. Liches and vampires make good villains.
Devil	Spell components inside a skin.
Demon	Experience points inside someone else's skin.
Demon Prince	A demon who regards your character as a wiener, suitable for a slow cook in a large iron pot. Add salt and pepper for flavor, but make sure to boil the dwarves first to get all the hair off.
Dragon	Giant, two to three ton lizard with more hit points than a small European nation. Best attacked while asleep in its lair so you can slaughter it, steal all its treasure, and go back to town to get drunk and brag about it.
Gods	Think of these NPCs as loan sharks. The more interest you pay, especially if you pay on time, the happier they are with you. The deeper in debt you get, the more of your soul they own.
City	A large population center where PCs will probably get murdered in their sleep.
Town	A moderate population center where PCs will likely be forced to defend the townspeople (see NPC above) against petty politicians, saboteurs, and overwhelming odds with limited resources.
Village	A small population center and usually the object of some overwhelming world-threatening invasion (don't ask why). They are particularly annoying, and exceptionally hard to defend. The best way a PC can describe a village is: "[Village name], the armpit of this country, will quickly be obliterated by the advancing horde of demons. So why do we have to save them?"