I just found out yesterday that our friend Big Pun is dead. Apparently, the Punisher was a little too big for his own good and collapsed under his own weight in a way not unlike that of a beached whale. (Or so I heard. Actually, didn't he just have a big heart attack or something?)

Okay, so it's not nice to make fun, but I figured that this would be a good opportunity for me to discuss my feelings about rap. You guys know how I'm all into oldies (and not that wack-ass shit, either - the good stuff). Although 50's and 60's music is my tunes of choice, I'll listen to nearly anything. I like most 80's music, I love late 80's/early 90's stuff, I'm fond of grunge, punk is tolerable, and yes, I even like the Evil Modern, Trendy Bubblegum Filth. Sometimes I'll go for some country, and others I'll switch to the classical station. Basically, whatever's on the radio, I'll listen to. Except one particular genre.

I wouldn't mind rap if they didn't insist upon calling it music. I mean, it's not so much that I mind listening to it - that is, when it's not blaring out of some piece of white trash's crappy system - because yeah, it's funny, and sometimes, such as when driving through the ghetto or having a drunken evening of bumpin' and grindin', it's nearly appropriate. But to call it "music"? To say that these people have "talent"? To call them "artists"? Come on. If you just wanted to talk, why don't you write a poem and go to a coffee shop? Hidden somewhere in the pounding rhythms and ghettospeak is probably some gem of wisdom, but I'll be damned if I can find it. Like I said, why not write a poem? Can anyone understand these people?

I don't care that people like rap. I don't hate rap or rappers. I don't hate the people who do like rap. I don't want it to be eradicated from the market or even from the Grammy awards. In fact, I don't even care that much about rap or whether it's classified as music or not, but I feel pressured to update for the whole four people who came here today, so here it is. Deal with it.