December 30 - Hot Pockets are the devil. Okay, I know you don't care about this, but I've lost 13 lbs. since December 15. I'm doing really well - I was stuck on a permanent weight-loss plateau for a while - and then...HOT POCKETS!!

I am one of those disgustingly fussy eaters that everyone knows and hates. I hate eggs, mustard, ketchup, condiments of any kind, all Chinese food, mayonnaise, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, onions, all salad dressings, croutons, lasagna, potatoes, chicken salad, tuna salad, egg salad, potato salad, lima beans - the list is endless. I can't stand to eat anything that looks or smells bad. And yet, somehow, I manage to down these damn Hot Pockets like there's no tomorrow. They look disgusting. They smell disgusting. But they taste so unbelievably good! I've been working on a stack of the Pepperoni Pizza variety. They're the only flavor that looks to be any good anyway. Please, if somebody - anybody! - knows how to cure an addiction to a foodstuff such as these, let me know, for the love of God!

The year 2000 is at our doorstep, everybody. Isn't it amazing? I probably won't be updating tomorrow, so I hope that everyone parties hearty for me and brings in the new year with a bang, as they say. Actually, the polls have been saying that most people will be staying home this year. But hell, what do the polls know? I've been meaning to mention that I don't believe in polls, but hell, nobody believes in polls. The snow's melting here. We got a foot and a half in a damn day, and it's already melting. RIGHT ON!

So have a great New Year's Eve, everyone, and hey, if the Russians pick tomorrow night to hit us, I'll be ready. Will you?

December 23 - I updated my movies page, guys. I'd really love to know if any of you have seen the movie that I reviewed. Surely some of you have. It's not that unknown!

I'm sure that I won't be updating between now and probably the day after Christmas, so I'd like to take this time to wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy Kwanzaa. I really do mean that (except for the Kwanzaa part) - even if I don't like you, I want you to have a good Christmas. There are two songs that, when I hear them, bring a lump to my throat, and those songs are "Proud To Be an American" and "Do They Know It's Christmas." The former just really makes me proud to be an American. I can recall being at Cedar Point (which, for those of you who aren't from the tri-state area, is the best amusement park in the world) during the 10:00 P.M. laser light show and hearing that song blasting over the P.A. system with the accompanying images of eagles and the American flag on the screen and just weeping unashamedly. In fact, for the past couple of years, I've actually busted out my lighter and done that swaying thing, which is one thing that I swore I'd never do, but I found myself doing anyway. Anyway, "Do They Know It's Christmas" has that same kind of effect on me, especially the part where I think it's George Michael who sings, "Tonight thank God it's them instead of you." Oh, and "At Christmastime, pray for the other ones." I feel so petty after listening to that song. I mean, here I am in my nice cushy house in front of my computer worrying about stupid things like my hair when there are people in my own town who sleep under bridges. And the worst part is that I pretend to care, but I don't do anything about it. Hell, we all do that, but here I am going off on my tirade. I'm a hypocrite.

So I'm going to leave you with a simple request. I know that some of you have that whole existential thing going on, but for those of the rest of you who believe in some kind of supreme being, do me a favor and "thank God it's them instead of you." We take so many things for granted that we're lucky to have. Pray for the other ones, guys. This is unbelievably sappy, but come on, it's the season for goodwill to men. Also, do me another favor and pray that there are no terrorist attacks on Ashtabula, Ohio on New Year's Eve. Okay, now, seriously. Pray for the ones who don't have what you have. It's not that hard, is it?

December 17 - Christmas is next week, guys! Aren't you excited? Of course, I've put off my shopping until the last minute AGAIN - not that I'm about to do anything about it until December 23, of course.

This is new. If you feel like it, check it out - I'm hoping that I'll get some interesting responses.

Question of the day: Ever notice that "What the hell" is almost always the right decision? I don't really expect any responses to that. Also, I didn't say it, Marilyn Monroe did. I just found it interesting.

December 13 - Okay, so I'm lazy. No one's complained, so I'm assuming that none of you cares.

I was thinking about hunting today. Although I'm technically against hunting for sport, I know that if I were offered the chance to hunt, I'd go hunting. Which means...I'm not really against hunting for sport. It's kind of the same way that I feel about abortion - I haven't decided yet whether I believe it's wrong or not (although I'm leaning towards not), but I know that if I were to become pregnant right now, I'd definitely have one. I liken it to vegetarianism - no matter how wrong some vegetarians (not all - just some) may believe eating meat is, if they were starving and there was a big slab of beef sitting in front of them, they would eat it. It's a survival instinct. In the same vein, I would rather kill a tiny, developing ball of cells than trash my infamous "life's plan" in one fell swoop.

Nothing new today. I was going to write a joint thing on abortion and hunting, but I've pretty much taken care of that issue already.

The question of the day is...White shoes in winter: miserable fashion faux pas, or acceptable in our modern society? Sign here or send here.

December 5 - Well, not too much shakin'. I added this today. Check it out.

Hoo-damn. I am in desperate need of exfoliation, so I'm going to leave you at that.

December 2 - Wow. What did I do before I had a homepage? I can't even remember now. It's so nice to have an outlet, really.

Thanks a heap to Jimbo, who plugged my bad self big time on his page yesterday. I couldn't believe how many people signed my guestbook between Wednesday and today. Damn. Hey, it may not seem much to you people, but here on the po' side of town, 269 hits is a hell of a lot. Anyway, I'll stop my shameless gush-fest over myself...

Only three weeks until Christmas! Can you people believe it? In less than a month, it'll be the year 2000. I'm one of those people who gets all sad about little things like this, so bear with me: I'm actually going to miss the 19-'s. They're such cute little buggers, and just think: we'll never write them again after just under a month from now. Well, of course we'll write them, but - damnit, you know what I'm saying!

Which reminds me: I'm particular about petty shit like this, but I know that I'm not alone on this one - "new millennium"? HELLO, the new millennium doesn't start until 2001! It's not a hard concept to understand: we didn't start at zero, we started at one. Therefore, at the end of this year, only 1,999 years will have been completed since we began keeping time in the manner that we do now. Since a millennium is 1,000 years, we will have to wait for 2,000 whole years to pass before the third millennium will actually begin. No one seems to understand this except the Swiss, who aren't doing anything special for New Year's Eve this year. Yes, there's cause for celebration - I mean, it's not every generation who lives to get to write a 2 as the first number of the year - but if I had a nickel for every time that I've heard the words "new millennium" in the past year, I'd be rich enough to run for president. What I'm really surprised about is that I don't think that I've heard Prince's "1999" since New Year's Eve last year, and I thought that they'd play that right up until the end of this year. I still like that song; can you believe it?

Question of the day: If the world were to end in two hours, what would you do? Sign here or write here.