"Create our own heaven, HA. Who's she trying to fool. I would never have to clean a bathroom in my heaven ", as he went back to his duty of scrubbing the stool.
He thought back about the event that had got him here. Fighting a dragon with a Swiss army knife. Well, at least they threw a parade for him. And the statue was a nice honor too. If only the other Paladins would recognize what he had done. No, delegated to latrine duty while the others got the good jobs, like exercising the horses, or smithing the swords, or even painting the fence would be better then cleaning the john. But, he continued on with his job.
A lite colorful mist started to fill the room. In a faded violet hue a figure of a woman in a violet robe appeared.
"OH, would you stop that. Nobody up here is going to fall for that. You know that. "
"I know old boy, but I got to keep up the practice. "
Torner hated being called old boy. But, what could he do ?? After all this was the Great Elf herself, and he knew he shouldn't say anything.
"What is it this time ?? Shampoo the front yard ?? Or, no, I know what it is, you need me pluck the dirt out of the shag carpet with a tweezers right ??"
"Why Torner old boy, I sense some sarcasm. No, really the reason I popped in on you was to tell you I got a little job for you."
"How come none of the other Paladins can do it ?? " Torner suspiciously inquired.
"It's back in your home town of Bottomburn. Thought you'd like to go back there and visit for a while. Also it seams this task is more suitable to your skills, and well. ."
The elf started to stammer.
"there's. . one more. . little.. reason."
Torner got up off his knees. He could sense something coming that he didn't want to hear. He put his hands on his hips and looked the Great Elf in the eyes.
"What, ‘Little Reason' would this be ??"
The Violet Elf looked down toward the ground. And spoke silently
"Your the only Paladin I got. "
"WHAT ??" Torner shouted.
"Now, don't get me wrong Torner. As a Paladin your one of the finest. And I've been trying to recruit more, but their's just no money in being a paladin these days. No one wants to go out fighting all that's wrong in the world for pennies and then turn around and donate it me. They're all finding jobs that pay a lot, like professional sports athletes and forming their own MLM group. All those that are good enough to be Paladins are going into other venues."
"So you want me to go down there and kick some &!^*# and get them to be Paladins ??."
"NO, not yet. There's a much bigger threat to Bottomburn then that. I need you to go down there and take out a few nasties. Giant rats are infesting the sewer system. They could be a problem if not taken care of soon."
Well giant rats had never been a problem for Torner before. Or was that orcs ?? Torner had forgotten the last time he was in a real good fight. Oh yeah, now he remembered, that was with the dragon. Almost got ‘em too. Oh, those were the good. . .
"Torner, your day dreaming again. You with me on this ??. You going to do it ?? "
"I guess I will. Being I'm your only Paladin and all. And, It sure the elf beats doing latrine duty all day."
"Fine, I'll let the folks in bookkeeping know you said yes. Oh, by the way. They asked me to tell you, that do to budget restrictions, we're all having to cut back. You won't be able to use the great white shinny war steed for your quest. "
Violet Elf took Torner to the stables and showed him the steed he would have. There in a pile of straw was a goat, munching away at it's food. Torner got mad.
"Elf, you've gone too far. Me ride a goat ?? The One, Great, Noble, Heroic, Virtueistice, and Only, Paladin of the Great Violet Elf is going to be riding into downtown Bottomburn on a goat ?? You have got to be kidding."
"Sorry I have to do that to you. But, you don't have to take it if you don't want it "
Torner thought for a bit. Although he didn't care for the idea of riding in on a goat, he was a Paladin, and Paladins are supposed to have a mount to ride. So with hesitation he accepted the war goat and set out for Bottomburn singing...
Take this job and..."