The well lit interior of the building was comprised of one room, with a beam lined ceiling. A cheery coat of apricot paint covered the walls, and speckled the wooden floor where the painter hadn't been too careful. Aged posters advertising great entertainment events were tacked at seemingly random intervals along each wall. The only furniture in the room were two small desks, heaped with paper, and surrounded by several chairs each. The occupants of the desks were two small halflings, that looked remarkably alike. One was currently scratching his curly haired noggin, while reading a piece of parchment, and the other was fast asleep leaning in his chair, with his small hairy feet propped on the desk top.

After going unnoticed for several minutes, the priest said "hello." To his surprise, the only response he received was a soft snoring from the sleeping halfling. The other halfling with a rather perplexed look on his features continued reading the parchment. After several more polite attempts to get the halflings attention had failed, the priest finally gave in to his frustration and screamed "HELLO!"

This time the priest finally received a response. The halfling who had been reading the parchment, blinked his eyes and looked up at the priest, noticing him for the first time. Shocked from his dream of sweet Muskroot pie, the other halfling lost his balance and fell over backward in the chair, landing with a loud thump, and sending up a cloud of loose papers. Smiling, the priest addressed the seated halfling.

"I need to speak to Hodge and Podge about a matter of utmost importance."

Switching mental gears, the halfling smiled back and introduced himself.

"Well, you've come to the right place. I'm Hodge, and that's my brother Podge,"

He finished pointing to the dazed halfling, who leaned against the other desk, shaking his head in a vain attempt to clear the cobwebs out.

"What can we do for you fine priest. But wait, don't tell me, you need entertainment for the Saturday night Poker ceremony, hmm."

Wondering how the halfling had known about the secret ceremony, the priest began
"No, I. . ."

Then he was cut off by Podge, who seemingly had regained the use of his faculties.

"Oh, you must need entertainment for the ceremony of virgins then, hmm"

Geez, the priest thought, are none of our ceremonies secret anymore. Hoping that the Old Boyz Council hadn't caught wind of that particular ceremony, the priest spoke up before any more secret ceremonies were spoken out loud.

"No, I need to hire one of your performers, to help combat the mystery that confronts us."

Always on the lookout for new plot elements, the twins leaned attentively on their respective desks, and listened as the priest explained the strange occurrences of late.

"Wow, that would make a great play," Hodge said.
"How much do you want for the script," Podge inquired.

Sighing inwardly that he drew this assignment instead of the one to inform the scantily clad Bard, he said

"I don't have a script, this is really happening."
"Really, for real?" Podge inquired.
"Yes really," the priest replied in an exasperated tone.
"I still think it would make a great play," Hodge chimed in.

May the great V.E. (Violet Elf) put a curse upon all agents, the priest thought. Then he decided that agents in general were annoying enough as it was, without being cursed. So he promptly forgot the whole idea, and cut Podge off as he was about to speak.

"I need to hire Rasor the half-orcan gladiator, how much will that cost?"

Plot twists were instantly replaced by visions of gold, in the halflings minds. Negotiations followed, and twenty minutes later the priest was following the pair through the city streets, on the way to the Inn of the Belching Dragon , to inform Rasor of his new job. As they neared the establishment, the priest wondered just how the church was going to afford the price tag on this one.

As they entered the inn, which seemed to be undergoing construction, evident by the amount of debris scattered around, they were greeted by the Innkeeper. Dressed in an old robe and sporting a black eye, the innkeeper glared at the halflings.

"You NEED to find another place for him to stay between matches, he's a danger to everything around him," the man said, with a scowl on his face.

Shrewd negotiators, Hodge and Podge managed to calm the irate owner down, and offer him a large sum of gold for his continued services. Sighing, the innkeeper accepted the amount, and was cheered when he heard about Rasor's new job. He then directed them up to the penthouse, and retired for some much needed rest.

At the door to the penthouse, Hodge turned to Podge and said,

"OK, you go in and tell him, and we'll wait out here."

Podge looked at his brother with a smirk, and said

"Nice try brother, but we do it the usual way."

Grimacing, Hodge agreed, and an intense round of Rock Paper Scissors ensued.

Not exactly liking how this was going, the priest took a few steps back, and watched as Podge won the game. Smiling, Podge pointed toward the door. Grumbling under his breath, Hodge opened the door as quietly as possible, and slipped into the room, shutting the door behind him. Podge then put his ear to the door and motioned for the priest to do the same, who complied.

All was silent for several moments, then the priest heard Hodge's quivering voice.

"Rasor, wake up it's Hodge. . . ."

There was a muted rumbling sound, like that made by some large angry animal, and then silence. Tentatively, Hodge tried again.

"C'mon Rasor wake up."

"WHAT!" a deep voice bellowed, causing the priest to move his head away from the door, or risk hearing damage.

"We have a job for you," Hodge bravely continued.

"YOU WOKE ME UP TO TELL ME ABOUT A JOB. . ."

The priest couldn't understand the rest of the half-orc's tirade, as he switched in and out of orcish, but he got the gist of it based on its volume alone. After awhile, the yelling stopped, and the priest heard Hodge's voice again.

"Phew" Podge said,

The priest decided that he was happy to find out that his brother was still alive. Hodge was explaining about the nature of the job, and why it was important.

"Tell em to drop dead, I ain't doing it," Rasor growled on the other side of the door.

The priest raised an eyebrow, worried that this wasn't going to work out. Plus, the priest was also worried that Rasor would be willing to help him drop dead himself. Of course, the priest needn't have worried, because Hodge, ever the pro, had saved his most convincing evidence for last.

"Oh, there's one more thing I forgot to tell you Rasor," Hodge began.
"Yeah what is it?" Rasor grumbled.
"Some orcs stole some stuff from the dwarves."
"Good, I hope they ate a couple of em while they were at it."
"You don't understand Rasor, it's not who they stole it from, it's what they stole."

Ever articulate, Rasor replied "Huh?"
"The orcs stole the supply of Dwarven Ale, the whole supply, meaning there isn't anymore."

After Hodge had finished speaking, the priest heard footsteps fastly approaching the door.

"Open it," Podge exclaimed.

The priest complied, and was almost run over by Hodge, as he exited the room.

"Close it!" the twins screamed in unison, and the priest did so just in time, as the thought of life without alcohol clicked in Rasor's mind.

"AAAAARRRRRGGGGGG!!!!!!! I'LL KILL EM. I'LL KILL EM ALL. . . ."

A tremendous roaring sound came from within the room, followed by the sounds of things being smashed into tiny little pieces. At one point in time, a large fist came smashing through the door, showering the trio with splinters. Eventually, silence returned, broken only by the heavy breathing of the enraged gladiator.

Dusting himself off, Hodge got up from the ground where he'd taken cover, and shook the priest's hand.

"You got yourself a deal, priest" he said.

Quickly, the priest informed the halflings where Rasor was to meet the other adventurers. He was then about to leave, when a thought struck him. Turning, he addressed Hodge.

"Just out of curiosity, what was it that you were reading when I came in to your office?"

Hodge's response caught the priest off guard. The little halfling slapped himself in the head, and swore in his own tongue. He then produced the folded parchment from inside his vest, and told the priest,

"It's some bill addressed to Rasor from that 'M' guy, for burial services for all his opponents. It comes to several thousand gold." The priest shuddered at the thought.
"Well, go ahead and give it to him," Podge said.
"Uh uh, brother. We do it the regular way." Hodge said, with a smug expression.

The Rock, Paper, Scissors game was again performed, with Podge as the loser this time. Sulking, Podge took the parchment. Then as he was approaching the door, an evil grin appeared on his face. He stopped and yelled

"Hey Rasor, here's some mail for you."

Podge then tossed the parchment through the hole that had been conveniently punched in the door, and then he ran down the stairs.

As the sound of heavy footsteps approached the door, Hodge turned to the priest and screamed

"Run!"

Not needing to be told twice, the priest followed Hodge down the stairs. As he ran out of the inn, and back toward his temple, the priest could have sworn that he saw a large dresser come flying out of a window that was to small for it to fit through. Oh well, he thought, at least I don't have to adventure with him.