Hi.
It’s rare that I leave my room for more than a few minutes every day. This isn’t counting the time I spend at that dreary little daycare center they call school. Going outside means feeding myself to the Beast, and I’m not ready for that just yet. The Beast being humanity in general. I hate them, the humans out there. They all hate me too, so I suppose it’s an even field.
Keep in mind that my crimes are by no means severe.
I never got out. No one ever wanted me to. No one to interact with, no one to help me learn the ways of society while it was still acceptable for me to be learning them. I don’t know what to do when they approach me, it’s that simple. I can imitate sometimes though, and I suppose parroting has gotten me has far as I am without being beaten up (as often as they’d want to do it). But no friends. I have people around me who feel sorry for me, and they’ll say they’re my friends. Only to me though, and it’s not like any one of them would be caught dead with me in public.
But that’s okay too. I hate public places. And this is really what I expect from them. It’s all I’ve ever gotten. I’m used to it.
Okay, now for the truth. I’ve seen how they act with each other. And I want it. I want to be treated like one of them, rather than a member of a lone species that no one quite knows how to handle. Alienation was fun in the beginning, until I realized that it gets lonely. How was I to know my actions would cause irreversible damage? Brand me an outcast forever. All I want is a moment, one moment, when I actually matter.
Anyway, point of this little fairytale, I rarely left my room. Until about a week ago when I heard the fighting outside my window. I saw her then.
I knew her from school. Willow. The biggest geek on campus and yet she was still to good for me. I remember when I tried to say hello to her, the two guys she hung out with (didn’t one of them die? I forget) just gave me these icy stares. I shuffled on my way. I learned a long time ago never to look back. I watched her after that. Watched her from across the room, quad, etc. Watched her become popular.
She was fighting what I knew to be a vampire. I had studied alot in my time alone. I knew things. I though, Hey! Here’s my chance. I thought if I fought with them, I’d make friends.
Wouldn’t you know it? I wouldn’t.
I tailed them at night, Willow and her friend... Buffy? Yes, Buffy. I watched them. They never noticed me, but then again, I seem to be good at not being noticed (hope I don’t go invisible...). I saw them fight the vampires, the weapons they used, the tactics, everything. I started carrying stakes and a cross after a few days.
They came in handy tonight.
There were four of them. Buffy, wow, she was something out there. Could handle two of them at once. Willow couldn’t though. I was in the bush, a small one, that separated her from the other vampire. He had a sword (it was nice to see that the old ways and weapons weren’t dead yet) and he coiled him arm to thrust. I stood. I can’t really describe the pain, as I was in to much shock to feel it. I brought the stake down into his unguarded heart. Then I turned. She had dispatched the other and was just looking at me. Our eyes met. And then I knew.
I ran away quickly, not even bothering to pull the fool blade from my chest. All the pain is now is a dull sort of throbbing and I keep feeling tired, like I’ve been drained. It’s hard to hold the pen... but I will finish. I can’t just leave you all wondering at what it was I finally knew.
My moment came then. When I took her blow, I mattered.