"Wine is fine but whiskey's quicker..."
--Suicide Solution, Ozzy Osbourne
I always wanted to be able to say I worshipped a goddess. Like, D&D style, where there are all these gods and goddesses around, and "Which one?" is the most important question asked in any religious debate.
Two and a half hours at the shrine of the porcelain goddess is not quite what I meant.
We went out for Thai food in honor of Lisa's birthday. Was good, I approve. Ran into Eric on the way back, Erin and Wendy at Starbucks. Kind of odd, kind of cool. Have to go watch Sergeant Kabukiman with Eric later today. Anyways, the plan when we got back was Muppet Show + drinking. Sounds cool. Still kinda does.
Daniel and I decided that we would finally settle the question of whether or not I've ever been drunk by (what else) getting me quite drunk. Which resulted in way too much, way too fast - something like five shots of vodka dissapeared in less than half an hour. The only episode I managed to see all of was the first, Peter Sellers. John Cleese dissapeared about halfway through, and Harry Belafonte's appearances seemed rather sporadic. This last was actually a good thing - I tend to almost cry during Turn The World Around, and certainly would have this time.
So next thing I know, I'm in a bathroom stall kneeling in front of the toilet. I don't remember the logic involved in getting me there - suffice to say that Daniel is much better at the whole drunk thing than I will ever be. Lisa seemed to have a hand in it too, or at least deciding that I needed to go. I think. So there we were for the next two and a half hours. Daniel made his own offering at some point while we were there, but the reason we were in there so long was that I was puking basically the entire time. First went the food and liquid, then came the dry heaving, then the water they gave me. Much fun.
It was rather good as far as bonding experiences go (ignoring things like the nausea and the fact that I have to go wash my Samurai Lapin shirt now, eww). I still say Daniel cheated. As soon as the first round was over, he started asking me about things, and I was in no position to maneuver around the questions. I had the thought at the time that this was why he wanted to get me drunk, and I'm still not sure how wrong I was. Either way, we talked. About Sasha, life in general, our opinions of ourselves... I don't remember most of the details. Random bits have stuck in my head. Daniel telling me what a great guy I am, how nice I am to everybody, that I'm attractive even if I don't think so all the time (*Strikes a pose*), a few other things. At some point Lisa came in to check on us, brought me water. I remember Daniel telling her something about bleeding, but I didn't understand at the time. I gotta figure out if he's ok.
Lisa was rather comforting. I think it was Lisa anyway, because I remember Daniel finally succumbing right around then. Anyway, having a hand rubbing your back when you feel like that is one of the most comforting feelings in the world, right up there with having someone sleep next to you. I actually asked Lisa to sleep with me. Not have sex or even fool around, just sleep with me. I added the stipulation that she should not do this if there was a chance to get some ass from Ross. She's not here, so go Lisa ;)
Lisa and Ross helped me stumble back to my room. There was frequent stopping and leaning on the wall, but we made it here. Ran into Mike along the way, he inquired as to my wellbeing. I felt the need to point out to him that Caroline was wrong in her assesment of my drunkenness last time, and that now I was drunk. Silly of me, but it seemed to matter. We got me into my room, switched the Lapin shirt for my pajama top, and laid me out. Chris got back around then, so he was aprised of my state. I'm sure he was proud of me. I reminded Ross and Lisa that they had to go off and have wild passionate monkey sex. I was very specific about the monkey part - Ross assured me that he would remember. I forgot what we said would be traded to get my Muppet Show videos back, but it was humorous at the time. We laughed, ha ha.
All of this happened in a rather short period of time. I'll have to find out the exact timing of it, but suffice to say that I woke up around 6AM and I had been out for a couple of hours. I'd guess 2AM for the time of return to my room. It's about 7:20 now, and once I finish this I'm going back to sleep.
So what did we learn today?
One, I'll stick with the warm fuzzy feeling from a shot or two.
Two, I am gifted in my ability to find the Muppet Show absolutely hilarious without any alcohol at all.
Three, I have some great friends. Thanks guys.