Top-N Reasons to jump out of a perfectly good airplane
(drumroll, please...)
1. Actually safer than flying on Delta.
Submitted: Tec42(Tec42@geocities.com)
2. You're afraid of heights and you want to get down right NOW.
Submitted: Tec42(Tec42@geocities.com)
3. Small yellow sign in back window: Mad Farter On Board
Submitted: Tec42(Tec42@geocities.com)
4. The guy in the seat next to you turns and says "Do you want to see
something _really_ scary?" as you notice a small demon jumping around
on the wing.
Submitted: Tec42(Tec42@geocities.com)
5. You haven't learned how to land the thing yet.
Submitted: Tec42(Tec42@geocities.com)
6. You and your sanity seem to have departed ways a few years ago.
Submitted: Tec42(Tec42@geocities.com)
7. Because you have the high-tech equivalent of a bedsheet strapped to
your back, and an insane trust in the person who put it there.
Submitted: Tec42(Tec42@geocities.com)
8. I still don't know. Worse yet, I'm paying someone to let me do it.
Submitted: Tec42(Tec42@geocities.com)
9. Someone's got a death wish......
Submitted: KiddK & RadonMan
10. Have a nice trip! See ya next FALL!!! HA!!
Submitted: KiddK & RadonMan
11. Given the option of jumping or getting shot, you jump figuring there's
a slim chance you'll survive.
Submitted: Sammy the Bull(sammy@gotti.schmotti.DHD)
12. Your a white blond and your seated next to O.J. Simpson.
Submitted: Ann M. Randa
13. Your seated next to Hanson,and the litte punks won't stop singing that
crap they call music.
Submitted: Ashlee
14. You suddenly realize you left the iron on,the front door open,and the
heat on,and it's December.
Submitted: Ashlee
15. they are serving Spam for lunch.
Submitted: syrup
16. the movie is Rocky VI
Submitted: syrup
17. the person next to you missed the barf bag
Submitted: syrup
18. I guess I am getting a reputation!
Submitted: The Mad Farter
19. And I've managed to stay off the ones that have crashed.
Submitted: The Mad Farter
20. I once was on an elevator that did a free fall. Boy, did that elevator
stink!
Submitted: The Mad Farter
21. Just for the thrill of it
Submitted: anonymous
22. You suddenly become aware that the ebola virus is so contagious that
if one speck of it lands on a hangnail or your eye...you're dead in 24
hours.
Submitted: Ground Zero(groundzero@top.ten.com)
23. The guy next to you has the ebola virus and is completely filling his
barf bag with his liquified organs.
Submitted: Ground Zero(groundzero@top.ten.com)
24. You're reading the book "The Hot Zone" and are reading the part where
the guy is in the airplaine has the ebola virus and is completely
filling his barf bag with his liquified organs...and the guy next to
you coughs.
Submitted: Ground Zero(groundzero@top.ten.com)
25. The stewardesses won't let you spank them.
Submitted: Dragonlady(@dragon.dominatrix.com)
26. awm is on the plane.
Submitted: Dragonlady(@dragon.dominatrix.com)
27. #25: The stewardesses won't let you spank full-stop.
Submitted: Dangerman
28. (hey, gotta have some sort of in-flight entertainment...)
Submitted: Dangerman
29. (and somewhere to hang your headphones)
Submitted: Dangerman
30. You're on a nonstop flight from Thailand to Dallas, and you see the
food you'll have to eat for the next 20 hours or so.
Submitted: Just Me
31. There are a mother and a small child seated next to you, and the kid
has a talking Barney doll
Submitted: Just Me
32. because they wouldn't let you jump from the space shuttle
Submitted: ChAoS
33. because you think you can reach the wing of another plane.
Submitted: ChAoS
34. to excape the gremlins
Submitted: ChAoS
35. Their is a heatseeking sidewinder missile on your tail and you can't
loose it or shoot it down.
Submitted: ChAoS
36. they're showing the paintball list instead of the inflight movie.
Submitted: ChAoS
37. Jenny Mc Carthy is sitting next to you and she's had a LITTLE too much
crack to inhale.
Submitted: Sailor Earth
38. #25 The stewardesses look like Rossane Bar and want you to spank them.
Submitted: Sailor Earth
39. #16 Worse yet, Reality Bites.
Submitted: Sailor Earth
40. Because you one of those totally incredible natural-body highs the
first time you did it.
Submitted: Tec42(@Threecheersforendorphins)
41. It's more fun than bowling.
Submitted: Tec42(lost@c)
42. You're hanging from the wingstrut of a small airplane, in 70 mile an
hour winds, with 4,000 feet of absolutely nothing right below you, and
the instructor closes the door of the plane.
Submitted: Tec42(i'mgoingagainintwoweeks)
43. you are instructed to do by me and if i tell you to do something you
will do it
Submitted: kathielee(die faggots)
44. you are all stupid animals
Submitted: kathielee(die faggots)
45. my life is dedacated to getting rid of all devient members of the
society
Submitted: kathielee(die faggots)
46. that includes rednecks ugly stupid people and faggots as well as
people who cant keep out of other peoples busuness
Submitted: kathielee(die faggots)
47. i will get you this time
Submitted: kathielee(die faggots)
48. all who are not on my shit list better stay the hell out of my way or
you will get it
Submitted: kathielee(die faggots)
49. kathielee is on board. That whiny little BITCH with a cunt wider than
the Grand Canyon!!!!!
Submitted: Amanda(I'm Back!!!!!!)
50. #48 - And what exactly is "it", anyway?
Submitted: Just Me
51. #50: It's gotta be a free trip on those Carnival cruise lines or
something. Either that, or a 50 page illustrated guide to the amazing
things Cody's done this week.
Submitted: Tec42(lost@c)
52. #43-48, "Die faggots"? As in German..."the faggots"?
Submitted: Dragonlady(@dragon.dominatrix.com)
53. 50: you little faggot you dont want to know
Submitted: kathielee
54. 51: kathielee is my alais not my real name you fuck are you trying to
start trouble because if you are i can take care of you too
Submitted: kathielee
55. 52: fuck you you illiterate cunt
Submitted: kathielee
56. It's already on the ground and you don't have time to wait for the
ladder
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(@nerdtech)
57. They will be waiting for you at the Portland Airport.....
Submitted: D.B.Cooper
58. What? No response from kathielee? It's a miracle!!!!!
Submitted: Amanda(I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!)
59. Seeing kathielee doing a striptease act! I would jump too!
Submitted: Amanda(I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!)
60. #51 - Maybe a free designer outfit manufactured by children or
something.
Submitted: Just Me
61. #53 - If it involves one or more of your sexual organs, you're
probably right.
Submitted: Just Me
62. You may just want to find how easy it is to lane on that church
steple.
Submitted: Chris Robin
63. The Bomb you planted is about to go off.
Submitted: Chris Robin
64. The FBI/CID/MI5 arn't going to follow you.
Submitted: Chris Robin
65. #55, Hardly illiterate, just multilingual.
Submitted: Dragonlady(@dragon.dominatrix.com)
66. #54, And your real name is?...angrywhitemale?
Submitted: Dragonlady(@dragon.dominatrix.com)
67. You see Richard Simmons
Submitted: Magus Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
68. The guy next to you is using AOL
Submitted: Magus Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
69. Someone yells "Here come the Langolears!"
Submitted: Magus Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
70. The Captian is sitting next to you - and your not in the cockpit
Submitted: Magus Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
71. Anybody read "Airframe"?
Submitted: Magus Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
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Last updated: Mon 18 Aug 97 01:34:28
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