Top-N Our first, best, and last line of defense against alien invasion...
(drumroll, please...)
1. The Mad Farter visits Mars
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home)
2. Tori Spelling's butt-ugly face being broadcast into space every week
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home)
3. An unholy alliance of accordionists
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home)
4. Reaganomics (which Vice-President George Bush called what? Class?
___doo economics?)
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home)
5. Alein disguise kits: assimilate, infiltrate, assassinate.
Submitted: ,m,m,
6. #5 Not necessarily in that order.
Submitted: ,m,m,
7. can you say diet coke ?
Submitted: buttwhore(sped669@aol.com)
8. dennis rodman allies with uranus
Submitted: buttwhore(sped669@aol.com)
9. every west virginia citizen stands naked and holds hands, while
shouting " THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME"
Submitted: buttwhore(sped669@aol.com)
10. REDNECK RAMPAGE
Submitted: buttwhore(sped669@aol.com)
11. TURTLE WAX
Submitted: buttwhore(sped669@aol.com)
12. Two words: Slim Whitman.
Submitted: Mike Hunt(@oj's.com)
13. Alien Grfvnbvoergfrehldaqw3q: Intergalactic Customs Agent
Submitted: Tec42(lost@c)
14. Buzz Lightbeer
Submitted: Tec42(lost@c)
15. Pointed sticks. If that doesn't work, we launch fruit at them.
Submitted: Tec42(lost@c)
16. Rain
Submitted: Dominik Fuhrmann(Duck@home)
17. Squirt lemon juice in their eyes (if they have 'em).
Submitted: horty(have@day)
18. Hide when they land, then creep into their spaceship and go joyriding.
Won't save the earth, but at least you'll have a few laughs before
they grind you up for hamburgers.
Submitted: horty(have@day)
19. kathielee in black leather. If that doesn't freak them out, nothing
will.
Submitted: The Showman
20. No, make that kathielee *and* Amanda in black leather. It doesn't get
much creepier than that.
Submitted: The Showman
21. AWM. If they think all of earth's population is like that, then why
the hell would they bother taking it over???
Submitted: Piss Ant
22. Broadcast "Spice Girls" on every radio station for three hours
straight. Prefferably the one, (I don't know the title) That keeps
repeating the same lyrics over and over.
Submitted: Piss Ant
23. Et alors, launchez la vache!
Submitted: F/L Canuck, RCAF
24. Lure them onto the Don Valley Parkway or the 401 during rush hour --
they'll never be heard from again!
Submitted: F/L Canuck, RCAF(stalled.in.traffic@toronto)
25. Taunt them mercilessly (e.g. "Your mother was a hamster, and your
father smelled of elderberries!")
Submitted: Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Film
26. #22. What do you mean? All their songs are like that!
Submitted: Bug
27. Two words: Noisy Cricket
Submitted: Arrowhead
28. Oasis
Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
29. Pepsi
Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
30. Give them Bill Clinton - With any luck, he'll inbreed the lot of them.
Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
31. amanda and kathielee in black lace. (scarier still)
Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com)
32. #22, #28 - Not to mention the Smashing Pumpkins and Hanson...
Submitted: Just Me
33. #15 - Release a tiger. If they don't have any redcurrents, they'll
never last.
Submitted: Just Me
34. Introduce National Village People Day, where everyone dresses up like
their favorite cowboy, indian, construction worker, policeman, etc.
and sings 'YMCA' all day. I bet the aliens would retreat after about 5
minutes, if they lasted that long.
Submitted: Just Me
35. #7 - Even worse: Caffeine Free Diet Coke. Just tell them that it's our
only form of liquid refreshment. I know _I_ wouldn't be able to stand
it around here.
Submitted: Just Me
36. A BANANA!!!!
Submitted: Dragonlady(@dragon.dominatrix.com)
37. 20-foot-high electrified barbed wire surrounding our borders. That
oughtta keep those damn Canadians out.
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home)
38. Conan O'Brien's nightly monologue
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home)
39. Lemon Curry?
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home)
40. #38: Leave Conan alone.
Submitted: Conan's Sister
41. Call the Psychic Pinhead Network and talk to a real live pinhead:
212.505.9576
Submitted: Lilibeth
42. Aunt Bea's pickles
Submitted: Oldtimer
43. Introduce Pet Rocks and Beanie Babies into their culture to lower
their intellegence level.
Submitted: the TRIAD (SpudHead)(motown)
44. Destroy the world before they get the chance.
Submitted: the TRIAD (SpudHead)(motown)
45. Surround the earth with a thin candy shell.
Submitted: the TRIAD (SpudHead)(motown)
46. Forbid earth women from shaving.
Submitted: the TRIAD (SpudHead)(motown)
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Last updated: Tue 26 Aug 97 17:18:28
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