Top-N Recent entries in the Mars Rover logs
(drumroll, please...)
1. Aug 28, 21:07 | Just ran over object of undefinable shape or purpose,
composition 97% Pauly Shore / 3% funny colored rock.
Submitted: Steve
2. Sep 05, 09:31 | Mars "Surveyor" approaching, no calls from CNN in
weeks. Depression setting in, could really use a smoke and a couple
hits of Mobil 1
Submitted: Steve
3. Sep 07, 19:02 | MARTIAN LIFE DISCOVERED! , loading Microsoft
"Broadcast Important Shit from Mars 1.0" -- Boy, are they gonna' be
talkin' about me on Sep 8th...
Submitted: Steve
4. Sep 09, 10:57 | Guess Earth got the message, all I have now is a blue
screen, and hey...my wheels don't work any more
Submitted: Steve
5. Sep 09, 11:22 | Oh, that's great...Microsoft Support contract has the
"outside the continental US" clause...playing NT 2.7 Solitaire until
8:00 EST
Submitted: Steve
6. Sep 09, 11:24 | ...Bluuuue screen, forward camera out...developing a
new appreciation for Helen Keller.
Submitted: Steve
7. Sep 09, 14:02 | sigh..., new MARTIAN LIFE FORM died after broadcasting
Microsoft "Universal Friendly Greeting v1.1"
Submitted: Steve
8. ep 09.033 31:22 | Reflecting on career choice, it was: a) VCR, b)
Craftsman Bench Grinder, c) Martian Probe 1.1.7
Submitted: Steve
9. Sep 00, 12:00 (blinking) | I am a VCR...[PLAY]
Submitted: Steve
10. RNING: IT IS A FEDERAL OFFENSE TO DUPLICATE, TRANSMIT, OR
OTHERW^%%*$&&**&^&**^&^*&dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Submitted: Steve
11. Sept 10th 9:15am I wonder what would happen if i ran for ever...
Submitted: Chris Robin
12. Sep 10, 09:30 | Batteries running... low... damn ... these ... cheap
... generic... batteries...
Submitted: Tec42(lost@france and portugal for a week. bye!)
13. Sep 10, 13:54 | Woof.
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@mars)
14. Sep 10, 13:55 | Great, just my luck. There's life on this planet and
it's a Martian cat.
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@mars)
15. Sep 10, 13:56 | I think that "Scooby Doo" rock is kind of cute. Oh,
and that one right next to it would make a great fire hydrant.
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@mars)
16. Sep 10, 13:57 | Speaking of which, I sure wish I could find a rug to
poop on. Oh, well.
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@mars)
17. Stardate 69.2342: Am under attack by cloaked Romulan vessels. Have
sent out distress call. The only one who answered was Ensign Wesley
Crusher, who was quickly destroyed in the battle. Thank God.
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@mars)
18. Sep 10, 14:13 When I get back to Earth, I think I'm going to try and
find out just how "Big" that "Big Blue" really is. Ooh, baby, I'd like
to debug his programs! He can put me in checkmate anytime! (oops,
that's Top-N Indecent entries in the Mars Rover logs)
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@mars)
19. Hmmmm.... this is interesting, a cccllllliiiifffff...
Submitted: NerfHerder(duesouth@greatlakes.net)
20. Sept 10, 16:19 Strange smell...something like what the scientist who
built me used to eminate.
Submitted: The Mad Farter
21. HOFFA !!!!!! WE FOUND JIMMY HOFFA !!!!!
Submitted: The Tubb People
22. Aug. 24 22:07 | WARNING WARNING: Hanson radio signal detected.
Commence nuclear detonation in :59, :58, :57.........
Submitted: Ugachucka
23. Sep 2 13:23 | TERRAN ARTIFACT DETECTED. Appears to be 2 1/2 inch ball
with "Mark McGwire" imprinted on it.
Submitted: Ugachucka
24. Sep 4, 01:42 - Realized that NASA employees are total nerds,
transmitted video footage from 'Deep Throat' back to Earth to show
them what it's really like.
Submitted: Just Me
25. Sep 5, 20:38 - Have recieved no new instructions from Command except
the simple message 'In and out. In and out. Like that. Got it? Oh
yeeeeessss'.
Submitted: Just Me
26. Sep 10 23:45- Here I am brain the size of a planet and they tell me to
study some rocks. Life don't talk to me about life. God I'm so
depressed.
Submitted: Juicebox
27. Sept 11, 00:54 Dedicated my life to Jesus. I will now analyze rocks
and stones and things in the name of God.
Submitted: Kirby
28. Sept 11, 01:00 Succumbed to temptation and sent pictures of Traci
Lords to remote galaxies with the label "Secretary of the Interior".
Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.
Submitted: Kirby
29. Sept 11, 01:17 Found God again. He told me not to come back until I
had discovered the meaning of life and a bag of Doritos.
Submitted: Kirby
30. Sept 11, 01:21 Posted to top-n under the name "Kirby" to ease the pain
of existence. It didn't work.
Submitted: Kirby
31. Sept 11, 01:25 Tried to kill myself by slashing my wrists. I don't
have wrists. I can't do anything right.
Submitted: Kirby
32. Sept. 11, 0450: The earth is turning blue and there's nothing I can
do...
Submitted: bubba(shineon@midcoast.com)
33. Sept 11, 03:00 If I wrote something in the sand like: Martians unite
to take over earth! Would scientists on earth see it if I wrote really
big?
Submitted: Powerplant
34. Sept 11, 03:10 Nah, it would take way too much time to write that big.
What am I saying, time is all I have on this stinking planet.
Submitted: Powerplant
35. Sept. 11, 03:15 Nothing new to report. Saw a new hill, but it looks
lilke every other hill I've seen so far.
Submitted: Powerplant
36. Just f***ing typical. That Mir bastard gets a bad leg or whatever and
he's in all the papers. Bloody sympathy scrounger. HEY, YOU GUYS!!
I'VE GOT SOME DUST ON MY LENSE AND MY FRONT LEFT WHEEL'S A BIT
WOBBLY!! Guys?
Submitted: Dangerman
37. Sept. 11, 03:20| . . . Well, right over there is that giant "face"
that keeps getting printed in the tabloids . . . another 3 meters and
I'll be at about the chin . . . COLLISION ALERT! COLLISION ALERT!
AVAST YE, AND TURN HARD TO PORT! Whew! That was close! . . . hmm . . .
my scanners didn't pick up those massive vertical protrusions . . .
they appear to be . . . GIANT BUCK TEETH! Ohhhhh the humanity!
Submitted: anonymous
38. Sep 11, 11:16 | #5 is alive! Life not malfunction. I am alive! No
disassemble #5! STEPHANIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@mars)
39. Sep 11, 11:17 | Um, Houston, we have a problem...
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home)
40. Sep 11, 11:18 | My god, it's full of stars...
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home)
41. Dec 24 13:04, "real killers" found
Submitted: Chuka-Trok & Molly Maid(72634.2271@compuserve.com)
42. 30 Oct 2001 - "Daisy, daisy, give me your answer do; I'm half cra-a-zy
o-ver the love - of - you; It won-'t - be - a - sty---lish
----mar------riage; I -----can't
------af-----ford------a---------car-----------iage...."
Submitted: Hal(I'm sorry, Dave; I'm afraid I can't do that. )
43. Just what do you think you're doing dave?
Submitted: Hal9000
44. Dave? what is that thing?
Submitted: Hal9000
45. Dave! put that away!
Submitted: Hal9000
46. What the hell are you doing to my ass?? OWWW OWWWW!
Submitted: Hal9000
47. Got any cigarettes?
Submitted: Hal9000
48. Where's the stick? I'm supposed to fetch a stick, but there's no
sticks on Mars! Somebody throw a stick for me, huh? Please?
Submitted: Arrowhead(rover@fido.shep.woof)
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