Top-N signs you've been possessed by Satan
(drumroll, please...)
1. Bargain for the souls of your loved ones.
Submitted: Kirby
2. People look at you and say "Gee. You look like you've been possessed
by Satan."
Submitted: anonymous
3. You can turn your head 180 degrees in any direction.
Submitted: Kirby
4. While on the freeway, when someone cuts you off, instead of flipping
them off and yelling "f*** you" you point at them and say "You will
burn in the eternal fires of Hell, I claim your soul as mine!"
Submitted: Mark
5. You utter the words "You know, that Roseanne is really HOT!" *shudder*
Submitted: Mark
6. You get called to be on the Montel Williams show about "People
Possessed by Satan.... and the women who love them"
Submitted: Mark
7. You pet Chihuahua, actually a hell-hound in disguise, with eyes
glowing red, beats the living crap out of a pit-bull and eats it
Submitted: Mark
8. You look in the mirror and say "Hmm.. where did those horns come from"
Submitted: Mark
9. People keep saying "That's a hell of a sunburn, Bob"
Submitted: Mark
10. Every time you wash your hands the water turns to steam
Submitted: Floyd the Cute and Fluffy Bunny
11. Every time you wipe your hands on a towel it catches on fire
Submitted: Floyd the Cute and Fluffy Bunny
12. If your steak is rare, you only need to hold it tight to make it
well-done
Submitted: Floyd the Cute and Fluffy Bunny
13. The firepits and the incessant moaning and screaming coming from
downstairs
Submitted: Floyd the Cute and Fluffy Bunny
14. Your TV and radio now have up to 666 channels
Submitted: Floyd the Cute and Fluffy Bunny
15. You want to have sex with Mia Farrow
Submitted: Yorgo
16. You watch 'Rosemary's Baby' because you like a movie with a happy
ending.
Submitted: Kirby
17. Your friends include Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, and Barney the evil
purple dinosaur.
Submitted: Kirby
18. Your shower spews blood, when religious freaks knock on your door,
their hands melt and flame up, and you develop a taste for Meister
Brau
Submitted: Steve(*)
19. The Dead Kennedy's really cheer you up
Submitted: Steve(*)
20. Asking your barber to style your hair like Hitler's
Submitted: The Eternal(No one can know)
21. You begin to find Beverly Hills 90210 incredibly deep and engrossing.
Submitted: Booster
22. you realize the birthmark on your chest is a pentagram with satan rule
printed inside
Submitted: dy-Anne
23. M&M's melt in you hands, not in your mouth.
Submitted: Mike
24. You constantly demand that virgins be sacrificed to you.
Submitted: Kirby
25. You rent 'Urosukudoji: Legend of the Overfiend', 'La Blue Girl', or
'Angel of Darkness' as a romantic animated film to share with your
date
Submitted: Otaku
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This list started by Kirby()
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