Top-N Words of wisdom
(drumroll, please...)
1. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you
Submitted: The Eternal(In the Astral Plane)
2. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and
stupidity
Submitted: The Eternal(In the Astral Plane)
3. If you entered a loser contest, you'd come in second
Submitted: The Eternal(In the Astral Plane)
4. Don't pour sulfuric acid on your private parts
Submitted: The Eternal(In the Astral Plane)
5. A day without sunshine is like night
Submitted: Just Me
6. Be kind to vegetables, hug a radish
Submitted: Just Me
7. Never underestimate the power of a bad burrito. Ever.
Submitted: Just Me
8. Never ask someone wearing a ski mask and holding a pistol to watch
your car for you while you make a withdrawal from an ATM machine.
Submitted: Just Me
9. Don't concentrate on always watching your back, because you might walk
into a- OW THAT HURT!!
Submitted: Just Me
10. #7: Especially if you live in the southwest. Especially if you eat at
Elmer's Tacos or Guido's (two small authentic and delicious little
places next to my high school that serve some very dangerous bean
burritos).
Submitted: The Impostor
11. Man who have hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
Submitted: Mr. Destiny
12. Old man who sit on campfire have no hair by cracky.
Submitted: Arrowhead
13. You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Submitted: Flowerchild
14. Let the Wookie win.
Submitted: Flowerchild
15. When in doubt, get a bigger hammer.
Submitted: Flowerchild
16. Never eat at a place called Mom's, never play cards with a man named
Doc,and never sleep with a woman who has bigger troubles than your
own. (An oldie but a goodie.)
Submitted: Demonspawn(@a.little.bit.o.hell.on.earth)
17. Never eat anything bigger than your head.
Submitted: Demonspawn(@a.little.bit.o.hell.on.earth)
18. In the beginning, there was nothing. Then God said "Let there be
light." There was still nothing,but now you could see it.
Submitted: Demonspawn(@a.little.bit.o.hell.on.earth)
19. Okay, shut up already!!!
Submitted: Starbuck
20. NEVER PISS ON YOUR NACHOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted: kirk
21. A man who lives in a glass house should not throw rocks.
Submitted: M. Shadow(midnightshadow@hotmail.com)
22. A man who owns land should not fling mud.
Submitted: M. Shadow(midnightshadow@hotmail.com)
23. In the begining, there was nothing. Then God said "Let their be
light..." Then God said "Thats what I get for hiering goverment
contractors."
Submitted: M. Shadow(midnightshadow@hotmail.com)
24. You live your life between your legs.
Submitted: Leesper
25. Go to bed with an itchy butt, wake up in the morning with smelly
fingers.
Submitted: Leesper
26. If you go through a lot of hammers each month, it doesn't necessarily
mean you're a hard worker. It may just mean you have a lot to learn
about proper hammer maitenance.
Submitted: Leesper
27. Watch for falling rocks, especially in your room.
Submitted: Leesper
28. Don't eat cows unless they're dead.
Submitted: Leesper
29. *WARNING* - Engage brain before putting mouth in gear.
Submitted: Arrowhead
30. Klaatu Barada Nikto!
Submitted: CTI(Otherwordly Advice Department)
31. Revenge is dish best served cold.
Submitted: CTI(Otherwordly Advice Department)
32. All of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
Submitted: CTI(Otherwordly Advice Department)
33. A running man can slit a thousand throats in one night.
Submitted: CTI(Otherwordly Advice Department)
34. Don't tug on Darth's cape
Submitted: CTI(Otherwordly Advice Department)
35. Never, *ever*, under *any* circumstances, run out of duct tape.
Submitted: Arrowhead
36. Only Nixon could go to China
Submitted: CTI(Otherworldy Advice Department)
37. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me!
Submitted: CTI(Otherworldy Advice Department)
38. When dealing with giant, radiation-mutated ants, spiders,
grasshoppers, praying manti etc., do *not* attempt to squash them
underfoot (even if you have *really* big feet, like mine!)
Submitted: CTI(Otherworldy Advice Department)
39. If you're a vampire, always discard bags of blood after the "Best
Before" date.
Submitted: CTI(Otherworldy Advice Department)
40. If it ain't broke, don't fix it!
Submitted: CTI(Otherworldy Advice Department)
41. Don't pull my finger unless you can handle the consequenses
Submitted: The Mad Farter
42. If your cult leader says he's dying, get a second opinion.
Submitted: BigGulp
43. You can lead a boy to college, but you can't make him think.
Submitted: Flowerchild
44. You can only be young once, but you can remain immature for the rest
of your life.
Submitted: Flowerchild
45. anything i say
Submitted: angrywhitemale
46. anything Rush says
Submitted: angrywhitemale
47. anything Newt says
Submitted: angrywhitemale
48. anything Ronald Reagan says
Submitted: angrywhitemale
49. anything Richard Nixon said
Submitted: angrywhitemale
50. Kimchi is nectar for the Gods.
Submitted: mmm(?)
51. Garlic makes anything taste better.
Submitted: mmm(?)
52. A red pepper never hurt a fly.
Submitted: mmm(?)
53. Confucius say, "Math professor with constipation work it out with
pencil."
Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I
54. Confucius say, "Physics professor with diarrhea really understand
Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle."
Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I
55. Never go outdoors naked during mosquito season.
Submitted: Tamarind Tonkatsu Diablo(@Corpus.collosum)
56. Never try to have carnal relations with a 'gator.
Submitted: Tamarind Tonkatsu Diablo(@Corpus.collosum)
57. Watch Your Back...
Submitted: Argent(merc@shadowland.loc)
58. ... Shoot Straight...
Submitted: Argent(merc@shadowland.loc)
59. ... Conserve Your Ammo...
Submitted: Argent(merc@shadowland.loc)
60. ... and above all...
Submitted: Argent(merc@shadowland.loc)
61. ... _Never_ Cut a Deal With A Dragon
Submitted: Argent(merc@shadowland.loc)
62. TRUST NO ONE
Submitted: Deep Throat
63. When driving-never straight, always forword-----except when going in
reverse
Submitted: badlmente
64. Trust no one
Submitted: Fox
65. Never ever eat yellow snow
Submitted: Redhead
66. People who live in glass houses shouldn't play Naked Twister.
Submitted: Dangerman
67. It's better to spend your life making mistakes than to spend your life
doing nothing. (Trust me on this one!)
Submitted: Dangerman
68. You can't uneat the apple.
Submitted: Dangerman
69. Don't buy anything with the word 'Mariah' on it.
Submitted: Dangerman
70. Never trust a ginger.
Submitted: Dangerman
71. #46 Yeah, Rush is cool! One of the best Canadian rock bands ever! And
Geddy Lee...who'da thought he'd get the "Order of Canada" medal, from
the Governor General?
Submitted: Arrowhead
72. #47 Let's hope he gets better!
Submitted: Arrowhead
73. #48 Ronald Reagan? He never had a wise thought in his life; in fact,
some would say he never actually had a *thought* in his life!
Submitted: Arrowhead
74. #49 I think you're confused; besides being a crook, Nixon was a
moderate in social and fiscal policy, and an opportunist politically.
George Wallace, Barry Goldwater (until he became a liberal), and
Wiilam F. Buckley were a lot more conservative than Nixon was!
Submitted: Arrowhead
75. #45 *gag**sputter* (sound of me rolling on the floor laughing)
Submitted: Arrowhead
76. Never argue with a liberal -- you can't help them see the truth and
they'll only call you names for trying to do so.
Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I
77. Help stamp out incest -- ban country music.
Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I
78. Never wrestle a pig. You both get muddy, and the pig enjoys it.
Submitted: Flowerchild
79. It's not the company that you keep(it's the company that keep you)
Submitted: tedex(guest)
80. It's not the company that you keep(it's the company that keep you)
Submitted: tedex(guest)
81. It's not the company that you keep(it's the company that keep you)
Submitted: tedex(guest)
82. Never argue with a conservative--you can't help them see the truth and
they'll only call you names for trying to do so.
Submitted: Anti-Kalhoun
83. Money can't buy happienes but in can buy a faster connection to the
internet witch is almost the same thing.
Submitted: M. Shadow(midnightshadow@hotmail.com)
84. Life's short--toilet paper's expensive.
Submitted: Buffy
85. I've got new socks on!!!!
Submitted: Buffy
86. Never argue using an 'Anti-' alias and repeating someone else's
statement nearly word-for-word -- it's easy to ignore you that way.
Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I
87. GENERIC WISE SAYING, PARABLE OR STATMENT
Submitted: GENERIC TOP-N USER
88. #76: Anyone who claims to know or see "the truth" is either a liar or
a fool.
Submitted: Arrowhead
89. Never, ever marry OJ.
Submitted: The Showman(Kevin Kelley's evil alterego)
90. When in doubt, choose "C".
Submitted: The Showman(Kevin Kelley's evil alterego)
91. Never, ever talk to little French albinos. They'll cause you a LOT of
grief.
Submitted: The Showman(Kevin Kelley's evil alterego)
92. #88: Is that a 'true' statement?
Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I
93. #92: It's a quote from Mark Twain. Ask him!
Submitted: Arrowhead
94. #93: Is it true that that's a quote from Mark Twain? For if you claim
to know that that is true, you must be a liar or a fool, yes?
Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I
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Last updated: Sun 13 Apr 97 21:20:33
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