Y2K predictions
* 1. all lawyers are round up and sent in a rocket into the
sun, thus beginning the era of the Next Great Awakening
angrywhitemale --
* 2. professional wrestler Hulk Hogan becomes the next
President, promoter don king is appointed UN Ambassador,
saddam hussein starts more shit, setting the stage for the
grudge match of the milenium between Hogan and hussein to
end it all for good. as a reprecussion, disneyland opens in
downtown baghdad which sucks worse than euro-disney
angrywhitemale --
* 3. a lowly journalist from Columbus, Ohio exposes a sleasy
scandal in the michigan wolverine locker room involving ABC
sports announcer, brent musburger, a 15-year old male
prostitute named sergio, and some farm animals. a national
poll taken after the incident finds that most Americans,
outside the state of michigan find the behavior as very
disturbing and inappropiate.
angrywhitemale --
* 4. as a result of #3, John Cooper and the Ohio State
Buckeyes sweep the next 12 meetings between the Buckeyes and
Wolverines
angrywhitemale --
* 5. my brother drewboy will finally get laid
angrywhitemale --
* 6. Hypnotic recovered memory therapy will be remembered as
the last great con and rip-off of the 20th century.
The Debbil Made Me Do It --
* 7. Great disappointment spreads because no one partied like
it's 1999.
ChAoS --
* 8. Scientists attempt to clone dead celebrities, a mutation
occurs and they rampage killing and eating the tourists and
some ven start breeding.
ChAoS --
* 9. The news becomes entirely fictional, the very rare
occasions where they have a true story is because the
newsmen themselves killed someone to get the story.
ChAoS --
* 10. Crime is no longr rampant in the streets, now it's
rampant on sidewalks.
ChAoS --
* 11. angrywhitemale decides to come out of the closet and
marries a black man.
Drewboy --
* 12. Ohio State chokes again.
Drewboy --
* 13. In an effort to rid the reputation of being a school
filled with hippies, Kent State rallies around George Bush
II when he announces his bid for president
Drewboy --
* 14. The Euro-dollar is finally excepted by street walkers
like Jinxster.
Drewboy --
* 15. The Ragnarok arrives. All Christians slaughtered
mercilessly before the mighty Aesir get down to business
destroying Cthulhu and co.
Urban Valkyrie --
* 16. angrywhitemale starts high school. Then just as quickly
gets thrown out again.
Urban Valkyrie --
* 17. Asatru accepted as official religion in England. I
become High Priestess. Hey, it happened in Iceland...
Urban Valkyrie --
* 18. Charlton Athletic to win the Premiership.
Urban Valkyrie --
* 19. England are World Football Champions.
Urban Valkyrie --
* 20. George Bush II will be elected president, and congress
will also be overwhelmingly republican. There will be no
"vast left wing conspiracy."
Shazam! --
* 21. The Y2K bug will cause the entire world to crash.
Governments will fall into anarchy, chaos will rule. Ohio
won't notice a change.
Shazam! --
* 22. As a result of the above, only those members of paranoid
militia groups will be prepared to face the coming disaster.
Ironically, they will all be killed trying to "get control
of the government before it's too late."
Shazam! --
* 23. Morons everywhere will welcome the new millenium,
ignorant of the fact that the 21st century doesn't start
until 2001. (there was no year "zero")
Shazam! --
* 24. Maybe I will finally learn to spell
Shazam! --
* 25. Drewboy starts work for a prestigious corporation in New
York... as a janitor.
Urban Valkyrie -- on.her.harley@valhalla.com
* 26. Canada finally hatches the secret plan it's been
hatching all these years and annexes the US.
Urban Valkyrie -- on.her.harley@valhalla.com
* 27. The new province of Southern Canada's education levels
and standards of living shoot up as a result.
Urban Valkyrie -- on.her.harley@valhalla.com
* 28. Mexico then invades from the south and the Southern US
becomes Northern Mexico. None of the inhabitants notice the
difference.
Urban Valkyrie -- bike.for.freya@sessrumnir.com
* 29. The US government is unable to resist as it's entire
defence network has been locked up by the millennium bug.
Urban Valkyrie -- bike.for.freya@sessrumnir.com
* 30. As a result of the world's number one capitalist
aggressor collapsing, the UN is finally able to enforce it's
principles, the loss of the IMF and World Bank mean no more
debt crisis, nationalist movements and communist movements
disband as there's no one to protest against, and world
peace is achieved by 2010.
Urban Valkyrie -- bike.for.freya@sessrumnir.com
* 31. Another consequence of this is that Michael Jackson is
forced to retire as he no longer has anything to write songs
about. Good news all round, really.
Urban Valkyrie -- bike.for.freya@sessrumnir.com
* 32. It'd be a world where apes evolved from men.
ChAoS --
* 33. Nuclear winter, failing that you'll at least get nuclear
springtime.
ChAoS --
* 34. There will be weather.
Tec42 -- tec42@geocities.com
* 35. Jinxster prosecutes and wins a high-profile human rights
case at The Hague.
Smelymouse --
* 36. Memory Therapy as a profession changes its name several
times, but still fades away.
Smelymouse --
* 37. Russian Communists make a big comeback, humbly starting
in the borscht-flavored cotton-candy trade.
Smely --
* 38. Thanks to orbiting solar mirrors, Vladivostok and
Murmansk become major resorts, eclipsing Miami Beach.
Smely --
* 39. Nothing new will happen, but there'll be more hype than
the Flintstones movie, the Clinton scandal (both of them),
and the OJ trial combined.
Sailor Earth -- bkube@globaldailog.com
* 40. Red Monkia's (of the Battle Chasers fame) breasts will
get so big that she'll need ankle weights to support
herself.
Sailor Earth -- bkube@globaldailog.com
* 41. New Simpson episodes.
Sailor Earth -- bkube@globaldailog.com
* 42. F--- and a--hole will be ok to say on public television.
Sailor Earth -- bkube@globaldailog.com
* 43. More movies based on TV shows nobody cares about
anymore.
Sailor Earth -- bkube@globaldailog.com
* 44. Trent Reznor still hasn't put out a new album.
Sailor Earth -- bkube@globaldailog.com
* 45. Douglas Omen and Colin Powell form the 2K Libraterian
dream ticket.
Sailor Earth -- bkube@globaldailog.com
* 46. #45: Libraterians? So, the people born in late September
and early October finally have their own political party,
eh?
Dingo Floyd -- Master Nitpicker
* 47. A new movie sequel is released -- "There's Something
about Mary Tyler Moore".
DoctorNurse in Tampa --
youre.gonna.make.it@soleil.acomp.usf.edu
* 48. Vegemite will become the food of the new millenium.
The seer formaly known as Mage Orion --
@i.know.the.future.org.au
* 49. The new status symbols for women will be going out with
normal looking guys with glasses.
The seer formaly known as Mage Orion --
@i.know.the.future.org.au
* 50. laser eye surgery will go out of fashion as a result.
The seer formaly known as Mage Orion --
@i.know.the.future.org.au
* 51. contact lenses become a thing of the past.
The seer formaly known as Mage Orion --
@i.know.the.future.org.au
* 52. we learn how to extract an endless supply of energy from
old top-x posts.
The seer formaly known as Mage Orion --
@i.know.the.future.org.au
* 53. "CAT" Scans are virtually eliminated in leading medical
centers. Replaced by the Doberman/Bassett procedure.
Smelymouse --
Started by: angrywhitemale ()
Started on: Thu Nov 12 10:36:13 1998
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