SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #54
	"Running to Stand Still"
	By Archie Comics

	Review by Roland Lowery, aka Jim Doe

	------------------------------------

	Well, this was . . . half-way promising.  At least it wasn't as
bad as most of what Archie was putting out.  But it isn't as good as
issue #53 was!  The Archie people need to learn how to keep the ball
rolling . . . but anyway, enough of that.  This was a pretty descent
issue, and it still shows some promise for the future of the series
overall.

	THE COVER ------------------------------------------------------

	Ah, time to relax and check out one of the biggest selling points
of a comic.  After all, without a good cover, what can you expect of the
insi- ACK!  What the-?!  That is WAY more of the inside of Snively's nose
than I wanted to see!  And . . . and what happened to Uncle Chuck's color
scheme?  He's supposed to have WHITE hair, not GRAY . . .  And why isn't
Sally facing forward?  I mean, Spaz finally starts drawing the female
characters in the comic a lot more (uh huh huh huh) femenine, and they
won't show them from the front!  It started with Julie-su (on the cover
of Knux #5), and I don't think my heart will be able to stand it (and I'
sure fellow Rabbot admireror Dan Drazen will wholeheartedly agree) if they
have Bunnie topless on the cover, and Spaz draws her with her back facing
outward!  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
	Nnnnnnnnnn . . . . yyyyy . . . okay!  I'm okay!  Hold on one
second . . .    There.  I'm better now.
Really.
	Okay, what do we got?  This cover shows Sonic doing the Electric
Slide to some music he's listening to over his styling new Walkman (or,
well, it's some testing device of Chuck's, really) whilst prominent
characters from the story that ensues within the comic encircle him.
There's Uncle Chuck (who looks a little off model, not just his coloring
scheme), Sally (*drool*), a couple of Egg-robos (from the Sonic &
Knuckles vidgame, silly!), the Great Lord Snively (they way his mouth is
slightly open does nothing whatsoever to help the fact that we can see
his boogers from fifty paces), and Tails (who is entering "Generic Flight
Mode" or something).  There's also Knothole Village and some trees, but
they only show up for about three pages in the story, sooooo . . .

	SPLASH PAGE ------------------------------------------------------

	Um, Sonic running on water, words running on page.  No biggie.
Skip it.

	THE GUILTY PARTIES -----------------------------------------------

	Writer - Karl Bollers
	Pencilers - Nelson Ortega, with John Hebert on Gulag
	Inker - Harvy Mercadoocasio (affectionatly known as Harvo)
	Colorist - Karl Bollers (again, lucky us)
	Letterers(?) - J. Powell & V. Williams
	Editor - J. Freddy Gabrie (again, lucky us)
	Managing Editor - Victor Gorelick
	Editor-in-Chief - Richard Goldwater

	Maybe the worst part of this issue is that, like issue #50, it's
mismatched and nothing really but patches.  The two letterers seemed to
stumble over each other (a last minute bit of editing, I'll bet).  John
Hebert only got to do the very short Devil's Gulag Interludes, even
though he's a much better artist than Ortega.  The fault this time, I
know, is not Harvo's, because he still did an excellent job on both of the
works.  But it still doesn't help that they're letting the colorist write
the story.

	PAGES 1-3 --------------------------------------------------------

	Ah, Knothole Village.  Abandoned by almost all of the Freedom
Fighters because they realized the horrible mistake it was to let EndGame
happen, it becomes nothing more than a cage for Sonic the Hedgehog to
rattle around in, tearing up turf in the name of science.
	Uncle Chuck, it seems, it trying to determine his nephew's top
speed, but it's not so simple when someone leaves out Sonic's logo on
page 2.  Plus there's the fact that Sonic accelerates too quickly for
Chuck's instruments to do anything but blow their circuits.  This fact
causes Chuck to stutter (are you are you?) when he asks Sonic what he's
rebelling against.
	Sonic answers with a terribly cliche "Whadaya got?", and tosses
his sweat-soaked towel to his still off-color uncle.  Tails (who is there
either to be an observer of the tests, or just to pick up his paycheck
for appearing in the comic) comments on Sonic's attitude.  Sonic,
unheeding, walks off into

	PAGES 4-5 --------------------------------------------------------

	where he fades into a flash-back to . . . well, sometime.  Anyway,
it appears that Sally really got Ortega's attention, because what he took
out of all the other characters he put into drawing her!  The first panel
with her in it makes up almost 10 times over what we miss out on with the
cover!  And not only that, he draws her CONSISTENTLY well!  Not one panel
of Sally in this issue is bad or even mediocre!
	Oh, wait, I'm rambling now.  Sorry.  Um, let's see . . . Sally has
called a general meeting of the citizens of Mobotropolis, it would seem.
Her speech to them isn't really all that important, but the fact that she
has only three fingers is.  This has always bugged me, and here it ruins
what would otherwise be one of the best pieces of art I have ever seen in
the Archie comics.  Bottom panel, page 4.  For Pete's sake, people . . .
give Sally four fingers so she doesn't look like some kind of freak
anymore!  I mean, if Sonic can sprout and extra finger all of a sudden,
why can't the Princess?
	Anyway, Sally begins to introduce her new royal court (or
something, the new (and quite awful) lettering job is kind of throwing me 
off) on the next page. First is Dr. Quack, who looks like he'd rather be
shoving nails up his bill then be sitting there.  Second is Rotor, who
suddenly has taken on the air of an English butler (and, as a matter of
fact, looks a whole lot like how Scott Shaw! draws him).  Third is
Geoffry St. John, who looks even less happy than Dr. Quack to be there,
and will probably take the next opportunity he's got to gouge his own eyes
out with that toothpick in his teeth (we can only hope).  And finally,
Sonic, who checks his watch and then falls asleep.

	PAGE 6 -----------------------------------------------------------

	At the Devil's Gulag, that teeeeeribble, hooooooorible place where
just recently it was decided all bad guys would go (by the by, anyone
wonder what happened to Nack and the prison out in the forest?), a flying
vehicular of some kind is transporting the crystalized Kodos and
Arcachnis inside.  Short, but drawn well.

	PAGE 7 -----------------------------------------------------------

	Tails wakes Sonic up for another speed test, this time he gets to
don those goggles and styline Walkman thingy from the cover.  The 'tude
is still going strong, but at least he's not resorting to cliches anymore.
	Um . . . that's it.  Exciting, eh?

	PAGE 8-9 ---------------------------------------------------------

	I'm really beginning to hate the way they set this thang up.  It's
really screwing with the way I set up my reviews!  Well, anyway . . .
	Sonic runs, and so do his memories.  He, Sally (who's still drawn
well), and Chuck are discussing having all the roboticized Mobians move
to the abandoned mine shaft down by the old well and . . . uh, wrong movie
. . . the abandoned Knothole Village.  Amy Rose picks up her paycheck here
by making a speaking appearance that is of no real consequence to the
storyline, then Sally says she just has to okay the idea with her dad,
the King.  Sonic is pretty sure the idea will pass, but when he goes out a
few minutes later to check up on the verdict, he can see from a distance
that it did not go over well.  Harvo's stark inking of Uncle Chuck at this
point sets the mood extremely well, and it's still depressing me just
looking at it while I write this review.
	Sonic walks off, and we walk into

	PAGE 10 ----------------------------------------------------------

	and the Devil's Gulag.  Smiley and Fleming (who came up with those
silly names, anyway?) are "escorting" Kodos to his new home and
discussing the events of last issue.  Listening from his cell is the very
well drawn Snively, who begins to grow extremely interested and mentally
prods them to keep talking.
	I don't know if Hebert really meant for it to look this way (it's
not plagarism, but it's still a nice touch if it was done purposefully),
but in the last panel of this page, Snively looks a lot like the Joker
did in a panel of a Batman special, The Killing Joke (except the Joker had
all of his hair shaved (yes, Snively has hair, sheesh) and was holding up
a newspaper strip that he had cut into Batman symbols in the fashion of
paper dolls).  Whether intentional or not, it is a very nice effect.

	UM, STUFF --------------------------------------------------------

	Hey, it's the Find Your Name In A Pool Of Yellow Page!  Skip it.
	Um, not much of intrest on the Fan Art page, either.  Now I
remember why I avoid reviewing these sections like the plague.

	PAGES 11-13 ------------------------------------------------------

	Alright, that's it!  I'm tired of this page setup!  I'm just going
to include the speed test in with the flashback this time.
	Sonic's speed test takes place on water.  Then the flashback.
	Rotor is telling his "good buddy" Sonic about how he asked Sal
about checking around for his missing family (his mother and brother are
out on an ice floe somewhere, and then there's everyone else in his
family . . . um, yah), but she said no.  N, O, NO.  So, Sonic decides to
try putting on the ol' hedgheog charm to get the walrus a little time off.
	Sally says that she's a pelican and wants to fly north for the
winter so she can wear bowling shoes and eat small children at will.  Oh,
wait, no no no no, scratch that!  What she REALLY says is . . .
	No.  N, O, NO.
	Dr. Quack (who's showing exactly the amount of compassion I'd
expect) and St. John (who's . . . who's showing COMPASSION for SONIC?!?!
What is the world coming to?) don't look to be any happier about that
decision than Sonic is, and (I don't know if this was a mistroke of the
ink pen, or it's portending something) it would appear that Sally is
giving them the evil eye.
	Sonic tells Rotor the bad news, and I get depressed again.

	PAGE 14 ----------------------------------------------------------

	Another well-drawn Snively listens in on more of the rebels'
banter as they cart Arachnis in.  Robotnik's former assisstant has
finally heard enough and has decided on a plan of action.  He pushes his
left thumbnail.
	Now, I have heard a lot of speculation on this, mostly coming to
the conclusion that Snively is, in fact, a cyborg.  Actually, people say
"android", but that's only because they don't know the difference.  An
android is a robot that still looks like a robot but has a humanoid
shape.  Data of Star Trek: The Next Generation is still considered an
android because his skin is not truly flesh and does not have the feel or
look of real flesh.  Cyborgs are the melding of flesh and machine, like
the Terminators from the Terminator movies.  If Snively actually is
robotic, then he is a cyborg, since he is generally accepted as a human
and therefore must have human-like skin.
	Anyway, past all that, I do not personally believe that Snively is
a cyborg, or an android, or a 'bot of any kind.  It may be that he has
some cybernetic reconstruction, this much is true, but he started out a
human and is classifyiable still as a human.  The button on his hand way
back in EndGame and the circuitry on his thumbnail in this issue could
easily be nothing more than pasted on somehow.  As a matter of fact, a
button like this would be necessary if Snively was expecting to somehow
be able to signal outside the Gulag.  If he had anything hand held, or
pretty much anywhere on his body, then the guards would have searched him
and found it.  I'm sure that at such a high level prison, they have some
VERY thourough search procedures.  Who would notice some almost
microscopic threads running along the outside of Snively's thumbnail?

	PAGES 15-18 ------------------------------------------------------

	Now for something completely different, . . . a man with three
bum- er, I mean, a huge hamster wheel.  Chuck tells his nephew that he's
going to be testing him in an artificial environment, to which Sonic
angrily replies that he's BEEN running in an artificial environment ever
since Chuck had told him that his parents were dead.  Before Chuck can
answer, Sonic starts to running in the huge wheel, cutting off all
conversation, but not the next flashback to a few hours ago . . . how?
They won't tell us.  I'm thinking it's the magical abilities of the little
flasy lights and the watery ripples that normally accompany a flashback.
	Sonic is walking down the middle of Downtown New Yor- er,
Mobotropolis, complaining about how bored he is.  Suddenly, he's scared
by someone calling his name (which is something I don't really understand,
'cause it's just Rosie).  The old Nanny is taking care of some kids (I
think), one of which is a young version of Hershey the Cat (whom I'm
expecting to see in some other weird form next issue now).  While the
children run off to play on the busy motorway, Rosie gives Sonic the
tenth degree, asking him what's wrong.  He explains to her that he feels
like he's not doing anything, that (and this is a GREAT quote, I'll give
Bollers that) "I feel like my hands are tied while my shoelaces aren't!"
	While Rosie scratches out a picture of Hershey (huh?) in the dirt,
she hands out a pearl of wisdom that her cousin and Julayla (or her
cousin Julayla . . . the grammer is a little iffy at this point) used to
tell her:  "The only difference is the one you make".  So, Sonic goes off
to make a difference.

	PAGE 19 ----------------------------------------------------------

	In response to the signal that Snively sent out on page 14, a
bunch of Eggbots- waitaminute . . . "Eggbots"?  If I remember correctly
(and I think I do), then those things are named Egg-robos, not Eggbots!
Not only are they in Sonic & Knuckles (the vidgame), but they were in the
horrible The Map in Battle Royal, and they were named Egg-robos in both
of them!  Remember in the intro to this review when I said that Archie
should try to keep the ball rolling?  Well, they let the ball slip a
little here.
	Well, rather than dwell on that unpleasantness, lets figure out
what the little buggers are up to.  Seemingly, Snively has signaled for
them to do ONE thing:  Find Ixis!  Simple enough, neh?

	PAGE 20-22 -------------------------------------------------------

	Ah, the Great Forest.  The trees are spaced out a bit more than I
remember them, but it doesn't really matter that much.  It's a nice
background, the nicest in this issue, I think.  Whilst Tails tries to
catch a dragonfly (or what's supposed to look like a dragonfly, anyway),
Sonic and Chuck ditch the speed tests and have a teenager to robot talk
about Sonic's parents.
	Chuck explains why he kept the secret of ol' Jules and Bernie:  If
Sonic had known about them, he would have been to worried with them to do
anything with Robotnik, and the war would have been lost.  Sonic falls
for it, the sap, and- er, rather, Sonic forgives Chuck and gives him a hug
just before the Egg-robos zoom over.  Sonic's communicator decides to
chirp in a fashionably late manner, and Sally serves notice to him over
it that he's needed back . . . PRONTO! even!
	And that's it.  Well, what're YOU lookin' at?!  ;]

	PARTING SHOTS ----------------------------------------------------

	Well, another decent issue put behind us.  Hopefully, #55 will be
better, but as long as they aren't putting out absolute crap anymore,
I'll be happy, and so will a lot of other readers, I'm sure.
	Okay, thumbnail time.  Y'know, I remember the thumbnail for this
issue in the last one, and I must say it looked a lot better with Sonic's
goggles over his eyes.  Anyway, here we see Sonic Firsts (which I just
got to- yesterday, actually, since it's one in the morning as I write this
. . . expect a review even though they ARE just old stories), Knuckles #8
(very nice), NiGHTS . . . into Dreams (also nice), and Sonic #55 (doesn't
Monkey Kahn look a lot like Sally crossed with Popeye the sailorman and a
chimpanzee?).  A nice looking line up, all in all.
	Well, I'm tired as all get out and need my beauty rest.  None of
y'all will probably read this until morning anyway, so . . . Jim Doe,
signing off.

		Roland Lowery, aka Jim Doe
			

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