Here are a few of Tony's very funny little improvised songs from his time on "Whose Line is it Anyway?"
 

"Sometimes I dream of a sailor,
Sometimes I dream of an obelisk.
I shouldn't eat the mushrooms I find,
Because the local flora BLOWS MY MIND."
(from a game of musical film review)

 
"I wanna be a Yankee, but some things in America are really Wanky!" (Gospel about America)
 

 "I got married yesterday, I had an awful time.
I drank 2 bottles of crappy British wine.
I'm going to leave my wife as quickly as I can,
I don't like her, I like the best man!!!" (March about getting married)
 

"I hate examinations, it fills me with great fear,
I get the collywobbles, and lots of Diarrhea,
So if you are a student, don't care about the pain
Get through your exams by taking lots of cocaine!"
(Examination hoe-down)
 

"I've got a little problem, I can't get enough
You know what I'm talking about...It['s ME! I'm hot stuff
Look at myself in the mirror, I just start to sweat
Cuz I'm the most beautiful person that I've ever met!"
(He's in love with himself in a round of Psychiatrist)
 

"Oh I'm a little kinky, my panties are made of fur
I like to stay in evenings, just me and my cucumber
And then I pull my pants down and start to paint my tush
And dress up in leather and squat on Barbara Bush!"
 

"I like the sound of motorways when things go splat
I look out my car window and I've run over a cat
The one thing that I hate, the worst thing in my life
Is the stupid bastard who designed the M-25"
 

"I like cakes, you know I find them enticing
I like to take my clothes off and cover my body with icing
I do it because you know (whoa) I can
WOW! Take my body down with Marzipan...
 

"I've got a passion, from which I will not be swerved. Aha.
I'm like Mrs Slocombe from Are You Being Served. Wha ha.
You may think that I'm some kind of wussy,
But I can't get enough of daily pussy,
I'm in love, in love with my feline friends. Wha ha ha.
 

"I've got a problem, I'd like to report.
When I see Porky Pig, my pants distort.
Oh yeah, you know what I mean,
When I see that porker I spill my seem.
You know animals are my ilk,
I spray them with man milk.
I go yeah, porky,
Porky you're the one for me.
(oinks)
 

 "I got a problem, I'm in such pain,
I stole myself a gigantic plane.
I don't mean to bore you, I don't mean to rant,
But I put a 747 down my pants.
I tried to walk away in a straight line,
But ... bbbbbbbb (wobbles mouth). (Prison Visitor with Josie..Tony has stolen a plane)
 

The Donkey-Riding Hoedown:
"I love my fluffy donkey,
I like to call him Clive
I dress him up in panties,
he's the best animal alive
I like to dress him up
in lots of frilly clothes
And the two of us begin to star in certain videos"
 

(Tony is angry about his jacket, which is this God-awful green thing)
"I went to a store, I spent a lot of bucks
I came out with this, and boy does it suck
But the most important thing, and this is what I'd like to share
I hate this jacket cause it's made of bits of Lionel Blair"
 

The Reading of the Will Hoedown:
"My mother died the other day,
I hit her with a cosh
I hoped that in the will,
she would elave me lots of dosh
When I read the will
I found out that I was not rich
She just left me her knickers,
what a stupid bitch"

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