With apologies to the Barenaked Ladies (1992), parody by Gordon Vincent
If I Had a million Guilders (If I Had a million Guilders)
I'd buy you an estate (I would buy you an estate)
If I Had a million Guilders (If I Had a million Guilders)
I'd buy you swords in Kirk
(Maybe a nice Torres or an Soldano)
If I Had a million Guilders (If I Had a million Guilders)
I'd buy you a sloop (a nice reliable pirate sloop)
If I Had a million Guilders I'd buy more dice...
If I Had a million Guilders I'd build a sanctuary in our yard.
If I Had a million Guilders We could pool points, it wouldn't be that hard.
If I Had a million Guilders Maybe we could put a Syrneth beer cooler in there.
(Wouldn't that be fabulous)
If I Had a million Guilders (If I Had a million Guilders)
I'd buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat that's cruel)
If I Had a million Guilders (If I Had a million Guilders)
I'd buy you an exotic pet (Like a boca or an asprey)
If I Had a million Guilders (If I Had a million Guilders)
I'd buy you Verdugo's brains (All them crazy cobwebbed things)
If I Had a million Guilders I'd buy more dice...
If I Had a million Guilders We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I Had a million Guilders We'd take a our sloop 'cause it costs more
If I Had a million Guilders We wouldn't have to eat hard tack.
(But we would, because we like hard tack. We'd just eat more!)
If I Had a million Guilders (If I Had a million Guilders)
I'd buy you a Hermit (but not an inverted Hermit, that's Cruel)
If I Had a million Guilders (If I Had a million Guilders)
I'd buy you some art (a Vestanzi or a Garfunkel)
If I Had a million Guilders (If I Had a million Guilders)
I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey?!)
If I Had a million Guilders I'd buy more dice...
If I Had a million Guilders (If I Had a million Guilders)
If I Had a million Guilders, (If I Had a million Guilders)
I'd GM!