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	[SoL. Crow and Tom are in drag, with Crow in a dark wig and Tom in a 
red one. Gypsy is dressed as Hercules. Mike is in his normal jumpsuit, 
standing in the center.] 

	MIKE:  Hello, and welcome to 
	the Satellite of Love Repertory’s production of the thrilling 
	"Choosing Scene" from _Katira’s Tale_. This production stars 
	Crow T. Robot as the spunky ‘n’ sassy Katira, Thomas Servo as the 
	dashing and glamorous Megara, and Gypsy as Hercules. With a special 
	guest cameo from Jerry Mathers as the Beaver. Technical and credit 
	assistance from Cambot. Enjoy the show, ladies, gentlemen, and 
	gentlebots. 

	[We see ‘Day 1’ flashed on the screen.]

	GYPSY:  Oh no! I am beset with 
	two beautiful women asking for my hand! Who shall I ever choose?

	TOM:  Oh, fair strong Hercules, pick me! I was a 
	gutter child in Corinth, but I grew up to be a beautiful and sassy 
	maiden with highly unusual hair! And I was first here!	

	CROW:  Oh, no, you simply must pick me! I was 
	her best friend all through our gutter-punk childhoods, but I am 
	indeed part god, though I’m not sure how I know this! I can do 
	anything you’d ever like, and besides, we were fated! The old woman 
	said so!

	GYPSY:  Hmm. This will most definitely be a hard decision. 
	Give me time to think. 

	[‘Day 2’ is flashed] 

	CROW:  So? Who will it be?

	GYPSY:  Give me time to think some more. You two 
	are so much... the same... 

	[‘Day 3’ is flashed] 

	GYPSY:  You know, you two, you are both very 
	hard to tell apart. So, I’ve decided to leave you both for... 
	Richard Baseheart’s sister! (Gypsy leaves)

	CROW:  Grrrr! That makes me SOOO mad, that you’d be so 
	petty as to make him leave both of us... for a Baseheart, even!

	TOM:  *Me*? *Petty*? Say that again, you hypocritical 
	man-stealer! Arrrgh!

	[A catfight breaks out between ‘Megara’ and ‘Katira’. They both knock 
each other to the floor, where the fight continues.] 

	MIKE:   Thank you for attending this 
	Satellite Rep performance. Refreshments will be served in the lobby. 
	Cast members are kindly requested to obey the movie sign and leave 
	for the theater. 

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	[The Theater.]

>	Katira was in chains.  They weren’t particularly heavy or big, in 
> fact, simply delicate golden ones.  Still, the links were tightly clasped, 
> and the fetters were as well woven as the words of a good poem.

	TOM: Good. If they were as well woven as the words of this fanfic, 
	one stray butterfly could shatter them all. 

>  Katira had tested every tiny link, and hadn’t found a single weak spot.  
> It annoyed her that such delicate, fragile-looking chains were so solid 
> that she couldn’t break them. 

	MIKE: Of course you can, Katira! You’re the author avatar, remember?

> Anticlus watched Katira.
>	“Come here, my sweet Katira,” he called.  Kat rolled her eyes with 
> disgust, and reluctantly obeyed.
>	“What do you want?” she asked, her voice permeated with exasperation 
> and annoyance.  Anticlus grinned, 

	CROW:  Daddy wants some sugar, baby!

> and put his fingers under her supple chin.  Katira pulled her head out of 
> reach.
>	“Why, I only want you” he answered innocently, yanking on Katira’s 
> chains, pulling her close.  He leaned forward to kiss her, but Kat ducked 
> from him, and slapped him.
> 	“Hey pal, I’m off limits,” she reprimanded, turning her back to his 
> face.  Anticlus started playing with her silky curls.  Katira burned.

	TOM: Spontaneous Fanfic Combustion!
	CROW:  I love the smell of burning avatar in 
	the morning... smells like victory. 

>  She didn’t like him doing it, and she remembered many things at once: 
> the days when she had once loved Anticlus, her times with Hercules, and 
> the way Herc had so casually toyed with her long locks of chocolaty bronze.

	MIKE: Sadly, the use of confection alloys for wigs just didn’t work 
	out for anyone involved.  

> Sharply, Katira pulled all her hair over her shoulder, where Anticlus 
> couldn’t mess with her long, magnificent mane.

	TOM: And now we’re in _The Lion King_? Stop the insanity!

>	“Come on, Kat.  You can’t get away from me.  You know you can’t,” he 
> reminded her, turning her around so that she had to face him.  Kat 
> strained her head, turning her face as far away from him as she could.  
> She uttered a small shriek

	CROW:  Um, yelp? I’d shriek better, but I just can’t work up 
	the energy. What *is* this character’s motivation anyway?

> as Anticlus yanked on her chains again, this time so far and fast that 
> Katira soon found herself sprawled out on his lap.  She collected herself, 
> and sat as tightly drawn together as she could be. 

	MIKE: I feel your pain, Katira. This fanfic makes me want to cower in 
	the fetal position too. 

> He wouldn’t let her get off of his knee, and Katira squirmed with 
> discomfort.  Oh, why wasn’t Hercules here?  Herc would be able to rescue 
> her, wouldn’t he?

	CROW:  Hello, valued rescue customer. Unfortunately, 
	the Hercules Rescue System has all operators busy right now. However, 
	please stay on the line - your call is important to us. 

> Until then, Kat just sat miserably with Anticlus.  Suddenly, Anticlus 
> pushed Katira off, and left the room.  Katira didn’t know what to do.  
> She waited, frightened and anxious.  Soon, he returned.  He smiled slyly 
> at Kat.
>	“What is it?” she asked, her voice quavering.

	MIKE:  I cannot read the fiery letters!
	CROW:  No, but I can.   

> Anticlus just smirked.  He took his hand out from behind his back, and in 
> it was a beautiful necklace. It was golden and jeweled, the strands of 
> metal twisting and writhing to make a marvelous choker. 

	TOM: And a smoker, and a midnight toker. 

> Anticlus fastened it around Katira’s throat, and Katira swallowed 
> nervously.
>	“I bring you the Brisings’ necklace, the loveliest neckring 

	MIKE: ... And elegant variation strikes again!

> in the world.  The loveliest necklace for the loveliest lady,” he said, 
> kissing Katira’s hand.  Kat loved the necklace, but she did not love the 
> giver.  She was delighted with the choker, but repulsed by Anticlus.  
> Katira trembled. She felt his soft, warm breath, as Anticlus fastened the 
> Necklace of the Brisings around her supple white throat. She wished with 
> all her might that Hercules would come to her rescue.  She had rescued 
> him, twice, and now it was her turn to be saved.

	CROW:  I’m sorry, ma’am, but before the 
	Hercules Rescue System can save you, we need the name of your 
	insurance provider. 

>  He did not come, and so Katira waited.  Three days she waited.  In those 
> three days, she fervently prayed to her mother Erato, her grandmother 
> Aphrodite, mighty Zeus, wise Athena,

	TOM: The Professor and Mary Ann... 

> queenly Hera, handsome Apollo, 	

	MIKE: Shab-Niggurath, the Black Goat in the Woods with a 
	Thousand Young... 

> powerful Ares, beautiful Artemis,

	CROW: Offler the Crocodile God... 

> and all the gods and goddesses she could think of, so that help would 
> soon come to her aid.  Also, in those three days, Anticlus had adorned 
> Katira with the greatest gifts imaginable.  Her fingers glittered with 
> rings,

	MIKE: Hey! Give Nenya back!

> the finest earrings sparkled in her ears, her arms were covered with 
> bands,

	TOM: The Katira’s Arm Benefit Concert! Now with REM, Green Day, and 
	Limp Bizkit! KoRn, the Bloodhound Gang, and Menudo for one night only!

> her hair bore golden ribbons and tiaras, her ankles wore delicate hoops 
> of gold and jewels, her dress glistened with belts

	CROW: She’s adopted the X-Men fashion trend, eh?

> and brooches, and round her neck hung spectacular chains and necklaces, 
> including the Brisings’ choker, lovely sandals that were almost like 
> slippers worthy of the highest princess,

	MIKE: This passage brought to you by Sears Roebuck and Company. 

> yet she still bore captive chains during that time.  And in those three 
> days, she wept.

	ALL:  Tears of a dork... when there’s noone around... 

>	Pegasus flew 

	ALL:  
	Pegasus / He flies like a moron!

> with the speed of a thousand chariots, carrying

	TOM: Ben-Hur?
	CROW: OK, whatever you say... 
	TOM: Y’know, to fit in with the chariots thing... 

> his passengers Megara and Hercules.  In the distance loomed a menacingly 
> dark shape.  As they flew closer, it began to look like a fine palace, 
> and instinctively they knew that it was where Katira was captive. In 
> minutes, they landed outside the gate, and snuck silently inside, 

	MIKE: Yeah, sure was a shame about the security cameras and all. 

> except Peg.  Meg and Herc followed a few small passageways, and soon 
> found themselves in a dark corner of a great hall. 

	CROW: In this fanfic, probably more like a mediocre hall. 

> Only one other person was in the hall.  It was a young woman, probably a 
> princess, quietly praying. 

	TOM:  Watch as the feral princess sneaks up on its 
	prey in the wild... 
	MIKE: Other pray, Tom.
	TOM: Oh. 

> She seemed to wear a golden dress, and she appeared to have hair made of 
> pure gold.

	CROW: Hey, it’s Sparrow! Long time no see, babe! Free for a nice 
	evening on the town sometime?
	TOM: Who’s Sparrow?
	CROW: Well, remember that Gyen chick you had a thing with for a while?
	TOM: Yeah...
	CROW: Sparrow’s her roomy, and MAN, is she *hot*!
	MIKE: Guys, can we keep the bot dating tips down?

>  She also seemed very sad.

	CROW: Ah, the Erato school of description. Go straight for the 
	jugular with an adjective!

>  She looked up, and noticed the two in the corner.  Since she had seen 
> them, and seemed to be in distress, Meg and Herc came out of their corner 
> to meet the princess.  Herc went up to introduce himself, and the golden 
> lady looked at him with very familiar grey-blue eyes.  Her face melted 
> into a smile of recognition, and she smoothed a few dark bangs off her 
> forehead.

	TOM: But in the last paragraph she had golden hair! I didn’t know you 
	could do dye jobs that quickly... 

>	“Katira?” asked Herc, utterly surprised at the transformed Kat.  Now 
> that he was up close, he could see some of her dark hair, and a few 
> miniscule patches of the red velvet dress showed through the golden 
> ornamentation, including her chains.
>	“Yes, and thank Zeus you’re here!” she answered in an excited whisper.

	MIKE: I’ve seen a lot of odd adjective-noun combinations before, but 
	‘excited whisper’ is new to me. 

>  She quickly glanced around the room, and let out a breath of relief.
>	“Kat?  Is that you in there?” asked Meg,

	TOM:  No, dummy, I’m right in front of you!

> joining Herc’s side. 

	CROW: Ah, the bond between elective Siamese twins. 

> Katira nodded, and shrugged one of her shoulders.  It was Katira all 
> right, just covered in mounds of gold and other finery.  
>	“Are you okay?” asked Herc.  Katira shrugged one shoulder.  
>	“Well, I can definitely say that Circe was right.  Men are pigs!” she 
> said,

	MIKE: Oh, come on! Tom’s puns are better that that!
	TOM: Hey! Ohhh... 

> more to herself than her friends.
>	“Circe?” asked Herc, thinking he’d heard that name before.
>	“Yeah.  Distant cousin of mine.  I never understood her obsession 
> with animals, 

	CROW: No comment. 

> but when she made a point,

	TOM: It was right on the top of her head?
	MIKE: No, that’s if she *had* a point. See the difference?

> it was usually a good one,” replied Katira, rolling her eyes.  
>	“You got that right,” agreed Meg.  Suddenly, Kat’s gold- and 
> jewel-laden head turned toward a nearby corridor, and she became ashen in 
> color.

	CROW:  The animator suffered a fatal heart attack, ending 
	the fanfic peril. 

>	“Hurry!  Hide before he comes back!  He’s coming!  Quickly!” 
> exclaimed a frightened Katira.  Her friends obeyed, hiding in the some of 
> the many shadowy nooks and crannies, 

	MIKE: And we all know how many shadowy nooks and crannies well-lit 
	great halls have, don’t we, class?

> and they watched Katira.  Anticlus came in, and Katira cringed slightly.
>	“Ah, my princess awaits,” he said with a beaming face.  Katira forced 
> a nervous, tight-lipped smile, and took a few steps away from him.
>	“Anticlus.  You came back,” she said in a quavering voice,

	MIKE:  For I *still* cannot read the fiery 
	letters... 
	TOM: That joke was debatable the first time you did it. 

> trying to sound glad.  Anticlus walked over to her, and yanked on her 
> chains, pulling her very close to him.  He slipped his arms around 
> shivering Katira,

	TOM: Shiver Me Katira - from Hasbro!

> and he tried to kiss her.  Katira pulled her head out of his reach, but 
> he jerked on her fetters again, and she was forced into his kiss.  Kat 
> struggled against him, but he forcefully kept her from pulling away.  As 
> far as he saw things, Katira should only stop when he stopped, and she 
> should do whatever he did, or more.  Kat didn’t want to be anywhere near 
> him.

	CROW: Remember the Erato School of Writing: Tell, don’t show! And 
	your audience is a bunch of 3-year-olds, so repeat, repeat, repeat!

>  She kept squirming, and in desperation, Katira bit Anticlus hard.

	MIKE: Erato, what have you done now? Think of the children!

>  Warm blood flowed, but yet he seemed not to notice what she had done.  
> Finally, he let her go.  Katira turned her head, and spat out a mouthful 
> of his blood.

	TOM:  Be careful with that stuff, lady. That’s my meal ticket. 

>  When she looked at him again, there was no wound on his mouth, nor even 
> bloodstains on his skin and lips.  It was as if Kat had never bitten him 
> at all.

	MIKE: Good. Let’s all just pretend as if that never happened. 

> He simply smiled, and stroked her gold-plated hair.  When he began to move 
> his hands over her chest,

	CROW: Code Red! Under the theater seats, gentlemen!
	(M&TB all climb under their seats.)
	CROW: OK, we planned for this. Servo, you’re sentry. Tell us when the 
	scene ends. 

> Katira jumped away, and slapped him across the face with all her rings 
> touching the skin, especially what stones she could make contact with.  
> Katira had been forced at his mercy to endure his multiple advances on her 
> for the past days, including his kisses and caresses.  She feared worse,
> though.  At least she was still a virgin, thank goodness.

	TOM:  Day 1 of the Scene. I am rooted in for a long haul, 
	and the conditions seem atrocious. 

>  However, Katira knew Anticlus, what he could do, and what he was aiming 
> to do to her.  If Hercules hadn’t arrived that day, she might lose it 
> soon, and the thought made her shudder.

	TOM:  Day 1.5. To my surprise, the main character concurs 
	with my feeling on the scene. 

> At this rate, she would wind up with his child, and Katira knew he wasn’t 
> going to wait for their supposed wedding night to try it either.

	TOM:  Day 2. Has this scene finally reached its zenith of 
	pure suck? Time will tell. 

>  She was terribly frightened, never sure what Anticlus was going to do to 
> her next.  Katira would endure everything, just as long as she didn’t 
> have to give him her body, which she knew he wanted.

	TOM: Day 2.5. The scene’s obvious goal to drive me insane is slowly 
	working. There is little hope... tell Gyen hi... oh, the pain. 
	(Tom begins sobbing quietly.)

>  Katira had resolved not to let him do anything to her without a fight.  
> As for Katira’s friends, still hiding, they were outraged at this 
> exploitation of poor Katira.  Meg was livid with anger at Anticlus.  
> How dare he do this to Katira! Herc tensed with fury.  Katira did not 
> belong to Anticlus! 

	TOM: Day 3. Through my haze of suffering, I can vaguely sense that 
	the fanfic is trying for a moral. There is no succor in this. Kill me 
	now. 

> Kat herself was fuming.

	TOM: Day 3.5. Hope yet! One character’s head seems ready to explode. 

>  She was a human being, not 

	MIKE:  ... an elephant?
	TOM: Day 4. I hear from a comrade. You guys are still there?
	CROW:  (snickers) Yeah, Tommy. Sorry about the mental 
	anguish and all that, but watching you pretend to be a war 
	correspondent is actually pretty darn funny. 
	TOM: Oh, I see, my cruel, cruel ‘friends’. Enjoy playing with my 
	fragile mind? Then *you* can come out and riff the rest of the scene!
	MIKE:  Aww... I guess so. 
	(Mike and Crow return to their regular seats.)

> merely an object to be played with!  Anticlus didn’t pick up on the aura 
> of rage in the hall.  He only thought Katira was playing hard to get.  
> After all, ‘no’ meant ‘yes’ and ‘get lost’ meant ‘take me, I’m yours!’ 
> didn’t it?

	CROW: And there’s that pesky moralizing that Tom was talking about. 

>  Anticlus chuckled at Katira, and tried again to make an overture on 
> Katira, 

	MIKE: Katira is good sheet music?

> who was ready to resist him again.  Unable to continue watching, Herc and 
> Meg leapt from their hiding places to Katira’s rescue.
>	“Leave her alone!” ordered Hercules, one hand ready to draw his sword.  Anticlus left a relieved Katira, and > looked at him, smirking.
>	“Look who came in time for the wedding!” said Anticlus, mocking Kat’s 
> friends.

	ALL:  We’re gonna mock this town, mock it inside out!

>	“Just leave Kat alone, and we’ll forget this whole thing ever 
> happened, ok?” offered Meg.
>	“Oh, is that so?  Well, Hercules, what are you going to do about it?  
> And Meg!  Do you really think you can challenge and beat me?” asked
> Anticlus arrogantly.

	CROW: Don’t do it, guys! Anticlus has a beatdown stick!

>	“I’m not afraid to spill your blood,” answered Herc.
>	“You aren’t?  Well, maybe you won’t have to spill mine.  You can 
> spill one of your girlfriends’

	TOM:  Hey, Moooom! I dropped one of my girlfriends and she 
	spilled all over the carpet! Where do you keep the paper towels?

> blood instead,” responded Anticlus.  With a few gestures and some magic 
> words from Anticlus, Katira and Meg soon found themselves bound and 
> hanging precariously over deep pits,

	CROW: Oh, come *on*. Dr. Evil did this so much better. 

> so deep the bottom couldn’t be seen.  Katira’s psychic powers kicked in, 
> and she could sense that at the bottom of her pit was something soft and 
> safe, while beneath Meg were huge spikes covered with water. 

	MIKE: Hmm... I was so distracted with the other pains of this fic 
	that I forgot about Foreshadowing Hell. Thank you for reminding me, 
	Erato!

> Anticlus grinned evilly at Hercules, who was stunned by what Anticlus had 
> done.
>	“What did you do to them?” demanded Herc.  Anticlus fairly skipped 
> about the hero, grinning maliciously all the while.

	TOM:  Did you miss the last few paragraphs? I tied them up 
	over two booby-trapped pits with the powers of my mind! Sheesh, take 
	some notes or something!

>	“Let’s see here.  Two girls, both lovers of the mighty Hercules, but 
> oh no!  Now they’re hanging, and you’ll have to pick between them.

	CROW: And thank *you*, Mr. Exposition!

>  Whichever one you pick the other shall die. 

	MIKE: Tell ya what, Erato: I’ll take that sentence down to the shop, 
	and they’ll have an estimate on the repair costs on Friday. 

> So, who’s it going to be?  Megara or Katira?”  asked Anticlus.  Herc 
> looked between the girls nervously.  Who should he pick?  Meg or Kat?  
> Luck or destiny? 

	TOM: Butter or Parkay?

 > Simple beauty or perfection?

	CROW: Spit or swallow?

>  Old love or new? 

	MIKE: Paper or plastic?

> The situation was horrible.  Herc again looked between the maidens.  He 
> noticed Katira gesturing her head toward Meg and mouthing things like 
> ‘Megara’ and ‘Save Meg’ but Meg wasn’t doing anything like that for Kat.  
> Meg simply dangled there, looking frightened.

	TOM:  Kill me now! Get me out of this story!

>	“Let them go.  Please,” pleaded Herc.  Anticlus simply shook his head.
>	“No can do, Herc. You’ve got to pick.  And you’d better hurry, too.  
> Their time is almost up.  Ten...nine...” counted Anticlus.  He prayed 
> Herc would pick Meg, so then he could keep Kat for himself.  Herc 
> frantically tried to decide.

	MIKE:  Duh... 17?

>	“Don’t do this!” he insisted.
>	“...eight...seven...six...”  Katira increased her gestures toward Meg.  
> Meg was becoming extremely pale with terror.
>	“Release them!”
>	“five...four...three...two...one.  

	CROW: ... ticktick BOOM! The bomb kills everyone. 

> Bye-bye...”  With those words, the cables holding Meg and Kat snapped, and
> they plunged into the tunnels below them. 

	ALL: Woohoo!
	CROW: Hope those 9.8 meters per second squared are fun, girls!
	TOM: Don’t let the door hit you in the butt on your way out!

> Meg screamed as she fell, while Katira forced herself to remain silent.  
> Herc reacted, and decided to take Kat’s advice.  He rushed to Meg’s pit, 
> and snatched her out of it.  

	ALL: Awwww... 

> Katira smiled to herself when she heard Meg’s screams cease.  She knew 
> Meg had been saved.

	MIKE: Or impaled *horribly*, given as death tends to make people stop 
	screaming...  
	TOM: And DarkMike surfaces again for one final encore. 

> Hercules untied Meg, and hurried to Katira’s side.  He peered into the 
> abyss, but could see nothing, not even the shimmer of Katira’s golden 
> jewelry.  It was too late to save Kat now.  Yet he waited, hoping for 
> something, he wasn’t sure what, to happen so Kat would be spared.  
> Nothing happened.  He heard a crash, and his heart sank at the sickening 
> sound.  He felt Katira must be dead.  Herc lowered his head, and held back 
> tears.
>	Meanwhile, Katira sat, dazed, on a huge pile of pillows and cushions.

	CROW: And her fanfic luck wins over believability yet again!

>  The sudden contact had jarred her, but otherwise she was fine.  She 
> looked up, and could see a tiny circle of light above her.  She must be 
> several yards below the hall.  Katira waited for her eyes to adjust to 
> the darkness.  She noticed a small tunnel not far from her.  Figuring 
> there wasn’t any other way out, she climbed through it, following it’s 
> dark, damp, smelly twists and turns.  The walls were coated with a 
> strange slime, and Kat did everything but retch.  She would keep going 
> though.  She had to.

	MIKE: And *why* does she have to again?
	
>	Meg and Herc silently mourned Katira’s fate, thinking she had surely 
> been killed.  Anticlus’s eyes gleamed, for he knew better.  He knew 
> perfectly well that Katira was safe and alive.

	TOM: It’s bad enough as is, fanfic! You don’t need to rub it in... 

> Meg headed for the door, but Hercules turned about to face Anticlus.
>	“You killed her,” he growled.
>	“Not I,” chirped Anticlus,

	CROW:  Chirp, chirp. Can I have my birdseed now?

> “It’s your own fault.  You could have saved her if you wanted to, but you 
> picked Meg.  It was your own decision, not mine.”  Herc didn’t care.  
> He was going to avenge Katira’s death on her kidnapper.  He wanted to 
> kill Anticlus for what he had done to Kat.  She had been innocent, and he 
> had forced her to die.  

	MIKE: Hey, guess what? Our poor synapses were innocent at the 
	beginning of this fic... can we avenge that?

> As far as Herc saw things, Anticlus was a murderer.
>	“You don’t deserve to live, Anticlus,” spat the hero, glaring at him.  
> Suddenly, Katira appeared.

	TOM: She climbed right out of a plot hole, I see... 

>	“Stop!” she cried.  Everyone looked in surprise at her sudden entrance.
>	“Kat!  B-but I thought you were dead!” exclaimed Herc.
>	“No, I wasn’t killed.  I was kept alive so that-that-”-Katira swore 
> at him-

	MIKE:  No! She can’t do that in a *Disney* production!
	CROW: Actually, I picture this scene being vaguely like the cursing 
	scene in ‘Sonic Fights Robotnik’. Lame and most likely misspelled. 

>  “could keep me around for his little pleasures!”  All three were shocked 
> at Katira’s sudden language. 

	TOM:  Oh, gasp. The horror, the horror. 

> As they watched her, she transformed before their very eyes.

	ALL: Transformers - robots in disguise!

 > She went livid with fury, and her eyes blazed like deadly wildfires. 

	ALL:  Wiiiiiiiild...... fiiiiiiiiiiiiiire.... 

>  Her whole body tensed and pulsed,

	MIKE: BUM-bum BUM-bum BUM-bum BUM-bum... 
	TOM: There’s that pesky telltale heart again!

> and her mouth curled back in an animal-like snarl.

	CROW: Now she’s an Animorph?

>  She was changed from the usually docile, gentle, and kindly girl into a 
> savage, cruel beast, as though the wrath of every god and evil power was 
> made incarnate through her body.

	TOM:  Land O' Goshen, I'm just as mad as all get-out and 
	gosh-a-doodly if I'm gonna take it anymore!

> In her gold, she had been scarcely recognizable, and now, no one could 
> believe she was the same woman.  
> Katira emitted something like a growl,

	TOM:  Roar. 

> and leapt at Anticlus like a tiger.  Kat was almost a wild animal, 
> snarling and frothing.

	MIKE: Sorry, Erato, but yer avatar’s rabid. Time to have her put down. 

>  Anticlus, Meg and Herc suddenly had a new understanding of Katira’s 
> nickname.  With remarkable agility, Kat darted around Anticlus, circling, 
> as though preparing to rip and tear him apart with her delicate, white 
> hands.

	CROW: And suddenly it’s a Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling crossover!

>  Anticlus actually went pale with fear, and even Herc backed away from 
> her warily, searching for cover from Kat’s ire.  Her jewels flashed and 
> shone like molten lava, with all the virulent and violent inferno of a 
> legendary Mount Vesuvius from a far-off tribe of people. 
> In a motion almost as quick as Kat’s, Anticlus snatched up Meg and held 
> her with his sword at her throat.

	CROW: See, Meg, as a damsel, has a natural defense mechanism to look 
	like she’s in distress so heroes will rescue her. It just didn’t work 
	this time. 

> As suddenly as Katira had ignited, she stopped in fear for her friend.  
> Once more, Katira was calm, and no longer blazed like the torturing pyres 
> of hell.
>	“One move, and your friend dies!” declared Anticlus, with Meg stiff so 
> that she might be spared.

	TOM: The Freudian implications of that last sentence should not be 
	approached by mankind. Or botkind, for that matter. 

>	“No!  Please, let her go.  She has done nothing to you,”

	MIKE:  She dared show her face in this sad excuse for a 
	story. For this, she will die. 

> pleaded Katira.  Anticlus did not lower his sword.
>	“Why should I?” he demanded.  Katira thought fast.  A plan formed in 
> her head, and she would have to make an unpleasant sacrifice if she was 
> to save Meg.  

	TOM: What, you think slicing goats open on altartops is anyone’s idea 
	of a good time? The cleanup alone... 

>	“Take me instead.  If you free her, I- I will sell you my body,” 
> offered Katira shamelessly.  She was placing before him what she knew 
> Anticlus wanted most. 

	CROW: Look, the moral limped out again! Hit it while it’s down!

> Surely he would agree to the deal!  Meg’s jaw almost hit the floor, and 
> Herc gasped with horror.  What in the name of Zeus did Katira think she 
> was doing?!?!  Herc hoped it was part of some master plan of Kat’s, and 
> she wasn’t really doing what she had said.  The truth was, Katira’s plan 
> wasn’t fully formulated, 

	MIKE: Well, neither is the plot, so she's in good company. 

> and she herself hoped she knew what she was doing.  Anticlus’s lips 
> twisted onto an evil grin,

	CROW:  Mmm... evil grin-flavored lollipops. My favorite. 

> and he released Meg.  In two steps, Anticlus held Katira in his arms.  
> Katira didn’t like it, but she had promised she’d sell herself, and Kat 
> knew she couldn’t complain about the choice she’d made.  Anticlus kissed 
> Kat’s red lips, and many things that were simply shocking to Kat’s friends. 

	TOM: Oh, now that’s just icky. 

> However, what Anticlus didn’t know was that Katira was still covered with 
> the slime, that was, in actuality, poisonous.  He was slowly dying from 
> his contact with Katira. 

	MIKE: Well, I always *did* picture Deus ex Machine as being kind of 
	slimy... 

> He didn’t know that Katira was becoming a femme fatale, as all of the goo 
> rubbed off on him.  As for Kat’s friends, they were not happy about the 
> situation.

	CROW:  Oh, no, we’re just ecstatic. It means this 
	fanfic is almost over. 

>  Promise or no, Hercules would not let this happen to Katira!  Anticlus 
> was beginning to move Katira’s skirts when Herc grabbed his collar, 
> yanking him away from Kat.  Katira was accidentally flung directly into 
> the wall

	MIKE: (snickers) Yeah, ‘accidentally’. *Sure*.

> with a terrific force, and she crumpled to the ground in agony, her ribs 
> smashed, her spine fractured in multiple places.

	TOM:  Note, class, that plot contrivances can work both 
	for good and for evil. For example, this is the good use of 
	contrivance.  

> Both legs and arms were broken, and blood flowed where some bones had 
> pierced her skin, dyeing it red. 

	CROW:  Oh, *poopie*. 

> Katira wasn’t dead yet,

	MIKE:  Well, 
	dear Concorde, whether you are dead or not, I must go on this 
	mission. It is my... idiom!

> but she could feel herself fading.  Death loomed over her like a dark 
> shadow. 

	TOM: Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? Death knows!

> Katira wanted to scream, but her one lung was punctured, the other 
> slightly deflated, and one of her shattered vertebrae was tickling the 
> folds of her vocal cords.  Kat could barely speak above a whisper if she 
> tried,

	MIKE: YES! And there goes the potential for dialogue!

> and she only managed to produce a soft groan, as her own blood pooled 
> around her.  As for Herc and Anticlus, they fought and fought, until 
> finally, Anticlus could take no more, and was finished off by Hercules. 

	CROW: And the gripping battle sequence ends!

> Anticlus’s corpse was left in a heap as Herc rushed to Kat’s side.  She 
> looked at him with her big bluish eyes, the same color as the mists in 
> the Underworld (or so Meg thought!), huge in her pain,

	TOM: Speaking of that, I’m HUGE!
	MIKE: That’s nice. 

> and she managed a weak smile.  Tears openly fell down the hero’s cheeks 
> as he gingerly scooped the broken, bleeding Katira up, hoping to get her 
> somewhere where she might be saved.

	CROW:  Hercules was a hero, but he was a slacker hero.
	He never bothered to pass First Aid in school.

>  Herc climbed on Peg’s back, holding Katira carefully in one arm, and Meg 
> clung to him, and Pegasus, recognizing the need for Katira’s help, flew 
> as he’d never done before.  As they traveled, Katira thought about the 
> words of the oracle.  She understood that she and Herc were born the same 
> day, meant to be together.  She began to understand the “two divided, one 
> chosen” meant that her relationship with Hercules couldn’t happen, and 
> that Meg would probably be chosen since she was dying.

	MIKE: Gee, just *maybe*. 
	CROW: Unless Hercules is a closet necrophiliac. 

>  She perfectly understood that Anticlus had been waiting and what danger 
> it had meant.  If it wasn’t for Anticlus, Katira wouldn’t be dying right 
> now. 

	TOM: “Katira’s Tale” - the Cliff’s Notes version! 

> Still, the last words were puzzling.  Apparently, she was the one who 
> would never go to Olympus.  That didn’t take a genius to figure out at 
> this point.  But how would she stay young forever?  Where was the garden 
> of love? 

	CROW: It’s the bustle in your hedgerow, next to the house of stone 
	and light. 

>  A horrible pain raced through her body like wildfire as

	MIKE: ... Nero fiddled?

> Peg landed in Meg’s garden.  She was laid on the ground very gently, and 
> she looked up helplessly at those around her.  She could see pain and 
> concern in the eyes of Herc.  She saw the same in Meg’s too.  Even Pegasus 
> seemed worried about her.  

	TOM: I believe she’s confusing ‘worry’ with ‘breaking out the party 
	hats and noisemakers’. 

> Then Katira’s gaze rested on someone she’d never seen before.  It was a 
> satyr, she knew that, but who was he, and why was he here?  
>	“Hey, who’s the babe?  And what happened to her?” asked the satyr.
> 	“This is Katira, and she’s been badly injured.  Can you help her at 
> all, Phil?”

	CROW:  “Phil”. Nice ancient Greek name right there. 

> asked Herc sadly.  The satyr, Phil as Katira learned, shook his head.
>	“No can do, kid.  She’s as good as gone,” he answered.  Katira 
> blinked

	TOM: ... and missed the plot of the story. 

>  at the word “gone” and everyone else sort of had a spasm when he said it.  
> It was as though they couldn’t believe Katira was dying, and the gruesome 
> reality was now clear to them.

	MIKE: Thank you for filling us in on that, Omnipotent Narrator Person. 

>	“Oh, Kat, I’m sorry.  It was my fault,” apologized Herc.  Katira 
> managed another weak smile.
>	“No, it wasn’t.  It’s okay.  Just be more careful next time, even 
> though “next time” won’t be with me,” she croaked 

	ALL: And the fic ends! Woowoo!

> softly.  She wanted to do something reassuring for Herc, but she couldn’t 
> move.  She tried, and the pain was excruciating, but she didn’t even move 
> a millimeter.  Her neck and back were broken, and she had become 
> quadriplegic.

	TOM: No big deal! I’m sure Gimpy would be willing to rent some room 
	for you in his Box... 
	MIKE:  Bring me out, baby!

>  Even if by some miracle she did survive, she would never walk again, she 
> would never play her flute again, she wouldn’t be able to do anything 
> again.  No more walks in the agora, no nothing.

	CROW: No more hideous fanfiction... 

>  She would be completely helpless.  She’d die a virgin anyway if she 
> lived through this, for how could she be a mother if she couldn’t even 
> sit up?

	MIKE: Someone didn’t take ‘Human Development’ in middle school, I see. 

>  Kat’s friends just struggled to repress tears.
>	“Kat, please, don’t say that.  You...might make it...somehow.”  Herc 
> tried to restore cheerfulness, but it was no use.

	TOM:  Geesh, the mortally wounded are a tough crowd!

>  Katira wanted to shake her head, but she couldn’t move.  Instead, she 
> gazed at him with her emotions.

	CROW: The Amazing Katira! Watch her bend spoons with her mind!

>	“I have to.  You know I’m going,” she persisted gently.  Her death 
> was inevitable, and approaching fast.

	MIKE: Funny how it’s been ‘approaching fast’ for what seems like 
	pages now... 

>	“Katira, oh...” began Herc, but it was too late. 
> Katira went limp, and she breathed a soft sigh as her eyes closed.  Her 
> head rolled to the side, and Katira died

	ALL: AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING!! WOOHOO!!!

> right there in his arms. 

	ALL:  Last dance with Katira Jane, one last time to kill the 
	paiiiiiinnnnnnn..... 

> The gods of Olympus had watched the tragic scene, and they

	CROW: ... commenced the smiting?

> pitied the small group.

	CROW: Oh. 

>  Herc felt a comforting hand on his back.  	
>	“She’s 

	MIKE: (McCoy) ... dead, Jim. 

> gone,” murmured Hera.  Erato 

	TOM: Let’s make this legitimate self-insertion now. 

> also came to comfort and mourn over her daughter’s death. 	
>	“My baby girl’s dead.  My baby Dejanara Petrakis is gone,” whispered 
> the Muse.  Meg and Herc exchanged looks.  So Katira had been named 
> otherwise after all, and she was really Dejanara Petrakis instead of 
> Katira. 

	CROW: Aww, what a plot development! Guess it must have lost its way 
	sixteen pages or so ago, when it was relevant. 

> An idea came to her (Erato), and Erato gently touched Katira’s forehead 
> and her heart. 

	TOM: Which had conveniently been ripped out of her chest while it was 
	still beating. Or so I wish. 

> The corpse gave a soft glow, and Katira’s shade rose from the mangled, 
> bloody body.

	MIKE: C’mon, Erato, did you *have* to do that? 

>  The specter acknowledged the gods, and lovingly embraced her mother.  
> Katira was glad her mother had returned to Greece to see her off.  She’d 
> been on vacation for a good eighteen years,

	CROW:  Isn’t that *conveeeenient.*

> and so had not watched her child grow up, nor been able to rejoice in the 
> triumphs of the great hero Hercules, as her (Erato’s) five sisters 
> (there were 9 Muses) had.  Urania, Polyhymnia, and Euterpe were still 
> vacationing, 

	TOM: Let me guess: this is some kind of sudden-guilt cop-out to 
	explain why there were only five muses in Disney’s version of 
	_Hercules_, right?
	MIKE: Correct as usual, King Servo. 

> so they didn’t even know about Katira or Herc.  Katira’s ghost looked 
> gently at her friends Meg and Herc, both of which were crying.
>	“There now, guys.  Yeah, I’m dead, 

	TOM: Yes... and *please* stay that way already!!

> but there’s nothing you can do about it now.  I’d like to say first off, 
> please, don’t forget me, but do continue with your lives as though this 
> had never happened,”

	CROW: And this would be an attempt to remove this story from real 
	continuity! At least *that* is a valiant effort... 

> began Katira, slipping a ring into Herc’s hand with a wink, knowing he’d 
> soon marry Meg, “Second, I’ll never forget you guys, because you’ve been 
> the best friends I’ve ever had.

	MIKE: No, you’ll forget because you’re *dead*. Get the picture?
	TOM: Katira: You’re dead! Leave the story already!
	CROW: She’s Nefertiti, guys. Queen of Denial. 

>  Third, I’ve got a couple prophecies:

	MIKE:  Just spit ‘em out then, why don’t ya? Not as if anyone 
	who’s still *ALIVE* would have anything better to do than listen to a 
	DEAD CHICK prattle on and on!
	CROW: Mike, buddy, are you all right?
	MIKE:  Yeah, I’m sorry. This fanfic is starting to get 
	to me. 

>  before four years pass, a daughter shall be born to you, and she’ll 
> change Greece forever, and one day, I’ll come back.”  Meg and Herc 
> exchanged looks.  What was that supposed to mean?

	TOM: It’s the fanfic’s final stab at Foreshadowing Hell!

>  Katira’s spirit came closer to them and gave Meg a sisterly hug.
>	“Goodbye, Kat.  I’ll miss you,” professed Meg. 

	MIKE:  Are we all taking notes? This will be on 
	the final. 

> She smiled softly at Meg.  Then Katira went straight to Herc, and slipped 
> her transparent hands under his chin. 
>	“I know you’ll miss me most of all, Hercules.  I know you’ll never 
> forget me, nor will you ever fully forgive yourself for my, uh, condition 
> here.  Just remember this:  it wasn’t all your fault.  You didn’t know 
> this was going to happen.  And second,” the phantom whispered, “I will 
> always love you,

	TOM: In the name of all that is holy, please! No Whitney Houston! 

> forever and for always.”  Katira bent over, and ethereal 
> lips kissed Herc’s tear-stained cheek.  Kat’s apparition ran an 
> affectionate hand over his hair, and she smiled kindly at him.
>	“A-hem,” came a voice from the heavens.  Kat winced guiltily.

	CROW: Thank you, Magic Voice!
	MAGIC VOICE: My pleasure!

>	“That would be Hermes.  I have to go.  Remember all I’ve told you,” 
> she said.  Kat nodded at the gods, and she walked backwards, fading as 
> she went.  She stepped onto a large stone, and Katira’s shade 
> disappeared, while the corpse took its place. 

	TOM: Eww, meat puppet city!
	MIKE: Hi there, DarkTom. 

> Katira’s dead skin became even whiter than in life, and her lips and 
> cheeks faded to the same white.  Kat’s dark curls paled, and her jewelry 
> lost its golden luster.  Kat stood there, frozen.  Before their very 
> eyes, she had become a marble statue in Meg’s garden. 

	TOM: It’s like Galatea without the brains... and the point. 

> On her pedestal read a short epitaph in her memory:
>
> Dejanara (Katira) Petrakis
> “...forever and for always.”
> Best Friend
>
> At the foot of the statue sprouted a beautiful rosebush, bearing the 
> finest red roses ever seen or to be seen, as perfect as Katira’s beauty, 
> and as red as the blood she had shed.

	CROW: And under the red fern lay Old Dan and Little Ann, the finest 
	hunting dogs ever to live. 

>	“Young eternal, but never to Olympus must one be, forever in the 
> garden of love,” quoted Herc.  Now the oracle’s words were clear to him.
> 	“What?” asked Meg, not knowing what he meant.  Herc just shook his 
> head, and looked at the statue.  The figure looked back at him kindly and 
> gently, as though to say “I’ll always be here for you.”

	MIKE: ... when the rain starts to pour? She’ll be there for him, like 
	she’s been there before?

>  It was Katira frozen there, and always would be, smiling down at those 
> who looked upon her.  It wouldn’t look like Kat,

	TOM: So? It’s a statue of a complete stranger. What’s the point?

> for the statue wore the clothes Katira had died in, but it would always 
> have the same aura of well-being around it that Katira had in life.  
> Even with the stone jewels, a small stone flute and a small stone pouch 
> were visible, tucked into the stone belt.

	CROW: Um, it's stone. We get it already...  

> The gods left the garden, and life went on as usual.
>	One month after Katira’s death, 

	MIKE: ... the story was still going? Uh oh. 

> Megara sat contentedly in her garden, all alone.  She looked at Kat’s 
> statue, and plucked a single red rose from the rosebush that grew at the 
> foot of Katira’s pedestal.  Meg tucked it over Kat’s stone ear, and 
> smiled appreciatively. She felt a strong hand on her right shoulder.  
> Meg turned around to see none other than Herc.
>	“Hi,” he said, grinning at her.  Meg had a feeling he was going to 
> try and surprise her.
>	“Hi,” she answered, trying to figure out the “surprise”.
>	“What are you doing?”
>	“I’m hanging out in my garden.  Geez, Herc, are you really that 
> dense?” teased Meg,

	CROW:  Stop being mean! You’ll be sorry when George finally 
	lets me see the rabbits!

> “Wait, let me guess.  You’re going to tell me something, aren’t you.  
> Probably that you’ve got to go chase after some monster terrorizing the 
> countryside, right?”  Herc kept grinning at her.

	MIKE:  Well, not exactly... say did you know that Gamera is 
	really neat?

>	“Actually, no.  How would you like it if I didn’t have to go chasing 
> after monsters so much?  How would you like it if I would always be able 
> to stay home with you?” he asked, slightly nervous.  Herc fingered the 
> ring Katira had given to him.

	CROW:  It was our birthday present, wasn’t it, Preciousss?

>	“What are you trying to say?” asked Meg.

	TOM:  Um... ‘Frammin’ on the Jim-Jam’?

>  This was very abnormal behavior for Herc.  Most of the time he just said 
> whatever it was.
>	“Well, I was wondering if you’d like to spend the rest of your life 
> with me.”  Meg’s face began to light up.

	MIKE: Looks like someone's spent too long near the Springfield Nuclear
	Power Plant, eh?

>	“You don’t mean-?” she began, not bothering to finish.  Herc nodded, 
> and presented the ring.  Meg hadn’t seen Kat give it to him, so she 
> wondered where on earth he’d gotten it.
>	“Yes.  Meg, will you marry me?” 

	CROW:  Ewwww... no. You've got cooties.   

> Meg beamed and nodded joyfully.  What a nice surprise!

	MIKE: And what an eminently predictable one!

>	“Of course!  Of course I will!” she cried, as Herc slipped the ring 
> onto her finger.  Meg hugged him ecstatically.  She knew she wasn’t 
> acting like herself, but who cared?  Herc glanced over at Kat’s statue, 
> and was almost sure he saw it wink at him.  He shook his head slightly, 
> and figured it was only the light playing tricks on the glossy marble.  
> Kat knew better. 

	CROW: She doesn’t know *anything*! She’s *dead*! Am I gonna have to 
	repeat this again?

> He kissed his bride-to-be, and they walked off toward the villa together 
> in the twilight.
>	In a few short weeks, Megara and Hercules were married on Mount 
> Olympus, and it was a marvelous party, with angelfood cake 

	MIKE: Wouldn’t that be ‘demigodfood’?

> (with Megara-purple sprinkles!). 

	TOM: Of course. The one time we actually see some detail, and it’s 
	the exact one we didn’t want to know!

> Of course, they didn’t live on Olympus afterwards.  That would come later.  
> Until then, all who knew about the occasion rejoiced, all except the 
> groupies who had always hoped to be in Meg’s sandals.
>	All in good time, Katira’s words would prove true.  A daughter would 
> be born soon, and, after a few generations, Katira did indeed return from 
> the dead. 

	ALL: NOOOOO!
	MIKE: It’s OK, guys, we have some time... 

> But, until those days foretold, Katira would have to watch from the 
> Underworld at her dear friends.
> ***

	CROW: And the tribble ushers will show you to the exits!
	TOM: It’s over? It’s really over?
	MIKE: Yes, thank the powers that be. Let’s get out while we still can!

	[They leave the theater.]

	[1]
	[2]	
	[3]
	[4]
	[5]
	[6]

	[SoL. Nothing much appears to be happening out of the ordinary. M&TB 
are in their usual places.] 

	MIKE: Hi. For those of you who are just joining us now, we’ve managed 
	to get the Satellite to break away from Earth’s orbit. We’re now 
	orbiting an unidentified planet, hoping to contact the locals and 
	arrange political asylum of some sort. 

	[The Mad Light begins flashing.] 

	TOM: Um, Mike?

	MIKE: Yeah?

	TOM: The... the... gaack!

	MIKE:  My God! The light! It can’t be... 

	[Mike hits the light. The Mads appear in the Widowmaker.] 

	PEARL: Yes, it *can* be! You can run, Nelsonite Express, but you 
	can’t hide from the Widowmaker! Convenient that you’re orbiting a 
	planet as it is... we’ll just conquer it and set up shop there! 
	Wahahahaha! Wait a sec... we’re getting some turbulence... 

	BOBO: Turbulence in space?

	PEARL: Be quiet, apeboy. I gotta concentrate on the steering... AAAAH!

	[Rocket #9. We can see the Widowmaker hurtling towards a remarkably 
diminutive planet. It impacts with a large crash.] 

	[SoL] 

	CROW: Um, what just happened?

	MIKE: I don’t know. Hello, Planetbound Dark Ones?

	[The small planet. We can see the wreckage of the Widowmaker in the 
background. The Mads are standing around, looking ticked-off.] 

	PEARL: Well, we made it to the planet, didn’t we, boys? And all 
	because *APEBOY* here had to ask me about quantum physics... 

	BOBO:  Why, look, 
	Lawgiver! Little children in exotic costumes! And they’re running 
	towards us!

	[Indeed, we see small children in a wide variety of ethnic outfits 
run into view. These are presumably played by various Best Brains staffers. 
The kids encircle the Mads and clasp hands, and they start swaying.] 

	BRAIN GUY: I have a bad feeling about this... 

	[The kids start singing...] 

	CHILDREN:  It’s a world of laughter / a world of fun / 
	where a smile means friendship / to everyone! 

	PEARL: Oh, please dear God no!

	CHILDREN:  It’s a Smaaaaall Wooooorld After All! It’s a 
	Smaaaaaaaaal World After All! 

	[SoL. M&TB are laughing uproariously.] 

	CROW: Hehehehe... live by the Disney, suffer by the Disney!

	[The credits roll. We can still hear the awful Disney music and the 
bots laughing over the theme song.]

	ASSORTED CREDIT-TYPE THINGS:

	MiSTing - "Katira's Tale" 

	Original story by Erato
	
	MiSTers - 
		Co-MiSTer (and author of host segments, formatter, and editor) 
		* Amanda Van Rhyn
		Co-MiSTer (riffer, editorial adviser, moral support guru)
		* Dennis Man

	Mystery Science Theater 3000 created by Joel Hodgson

	_Hercules_ created by a long-dead ancient Greek and associates; 
		1997 version by Disney. 

	All original characters in this story (c) Erato. This story MiSTed by 
	special agreement with the author. The author's original text has not
	been altered in any way except for formatting; not a word has been 
	omitted or changed. 

	Amanda's Special Thanks:

	- To everyone from Sci-Fi Club (especially Drew) for giving advice, 
	being there as the MiSTing grew, and on occasion making jokes good 
	enough for me to swipe intact. And for the USELESS THINGS! Woo! (Oh, 
	and more additional thanks to Drew for pointing out that one of the 
	plot contrivances isn't just convenient, it violates several laws of 
	physics.)

	- To the guys who wrote the First Amendment. Thanks, dudes. 

	- To J. R. R. Tolkien, for writing a fantasy world broad enough to 
	allow *way* too many inside-joke riffs about it. Oh, and 
	Terry Pratchett, for essentially the same reason. 

	- To Erato, for not killing me. 

	- And finally, to Austi - for the Beatdown Stick[tm], and so much more.

	Dennis's Special Thanks: 

	- To my brother, for the sicker jokes.

	- To Amanda, for the experience. 

	[Disclaimer: "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and all characters, 
	settings, situations, or anything else thereof are copyright 
	Best Brains Inc. All other copyrighted material (c) its particular 
	owner(s). All rights reserved. Please don't sue us; we can't afford it. 
	This MiSTing is written in the spirit of fun and fair riffing. No 
	offense meant to Erato or any other person involved with the story or 
	mentioned in the text and/or credits. 
	All characters, places, or situations mentioned in the MiSTing (and 
	presumably in the original text) are fictitious or used fictitiously. 
	Any similarity to reality is coincidental. 
	Do not read this MiSTing while operating heavy machinery.]

	[Copyright Info Stuff: This MiSTing is (c) Amanda Van Rhyn and Dennis 
	Man, Fevered Little Minds Productions / Neutral&Chaotic Publishing, 
	1998. This MiSTing can be distributed freely, as long as it's 
	attributed to the authors, by knowledge/permission of the authors 
	(not usually a problem; just use the e-mail addresses in the Authors' 
	Note to contact us), and unmutilated. Meta-MiSTing is not mutilation 
	if you tell us first. And so ends this installment of Legal Stuff.]

> Intended to become same flesh, and sealed in love by Lachesis.  
> Hmm.  That must mean we were meant to be together!  All this time, we 
> were intended to fall in love forever.

    Source: geocities.com/timessquare/lair/1868/MiSTings

               ( geocities.com/timessquare/lair/1868)                   ( geocities.com/timessquare/lair)                   ( geocities.com/timessquare)