Yes, this I a direct rip-off of the plot of Braveheart, but the movie was just so good and the armies fitted so well that I just couldn't resist. Also, I am not insinuating that Mel Gibson, in any way, looks like an Orc; he has far too much hair.

Squigbreff Soreblag was once a peaceful (as peaceful as Orcs can be) member of his tribe who quietly went about his business cleaning the huts, mucking out the pigs and generally doing all the dirty work. This was until the humans arrived.

They swept from the north, riding their barded stallions, each carrying a lance from which dangled their own personal colours. The knights attacked the town with a ferocity that took the Orcs by surprise. Before they could take up their arms the knights had raised the village to the ground and killed all the Orcs, all except for Squigbreff who had been cleaning da drops at the time.

Because the drops were so far away from the village (For obvious reasons!) Squigbreff was blissfully unaware of the death and destruction taking place. When he returned he was shocked to find the village in ashes.

He kicked about in the ashes until he found a suit of armour that fitted him and a sword that wasn't to heavy. Taking one last look at his old home, he headed into the forest to try and find some more Orcs.

After three days of searching he stumbled upon a Goblin caravan. Squigbreff remembered the runts from the many times they had visited his village trying to sell used weapons and armour that they had gathered after battles (after the fighting armies had left the battlefield) then tried to sell on to the dim-witted Orcs. When they finally saw him they offered to take him to an Orc village. Even though he mistrusted the sneaky gits he decided to stay with them

After another two days travel Squigbreff arrived at an Orc village ruled by the cunning Bloodaxe Fleshtearer. Bloodaxe was famous for being a cunning and brutal Warlord, and Squigbreff thought he would be the perfect leader for the army that would crush the humies that had destroyed his village.

Squigbreff relayed his story to Bloodaxe who, eager for a fight, decided to help the Orc in his plan of revenge. A sizeable army was amassed very quickly, many of the local Orcs sharing Bloodaxe's eagerness for battle. When Bloodaxe decided the army was large enougth they began their march toward the human town that the knights had come from.

When the Orcs finally arrive at the gates of the city they found them heavily barricaded and the walls of the city were lined with archers that fired at any Orcs that came too close to the city walls. Upon seeing this Bloodaxe ordered the rock lobbers to be wheeled forward and begin barraging the town. The Orcs were delighted to see the puny humans run for cover as the stone ammunition of the lobbers began falling like rain around them.

The silicon bombardment continued until all of the lobbers had run out of rocks. Much to the surprise of the Orcs the lobbers had actually done very little damage to the superstructure of the wall itself, with many of the rocks either falling short of the wall, or clearing the wall completely and no doubt squashing something behind it. Nevertheless, there were now a less archers on the walls and Bloodaxe felt it was time to begin the main offensive.

Unknown to the rest of the Orcs, Bloodaxe had secretly made a deal with the lord of the town. He would allow the humans to capture his army and he would be allowed to go free, just as long as he never returned to the area. Bloodaxe's plan was simple, he would lead the attack then duck away at the last minute.

And so it happened. The Orcs attacked, with Bloodaxe in the lead, and just after passing through the city gates they were pounced upon by the city guard. The Orcs fought fiercely but were outnumbered 5 to 1 and eventually they were captured. Squigbreff, who had been at the rear of the army, managed to escape after seeing what had happened to the others. As he ran he saw the unmistakeable form of Bloodaxe also felling from the battlefield. When he reached the safety of the forest he stopped to take his bearings, then headed back to the camp.

When he reached the grove where the Orcs had made their temporary base he was only half surprised to find Bloodaxe. He was going through the personal effects of all the Orcs who were now captured, trying to salvage what he could before knights were sent to make sure he had kept his side of the bargain.

Squigbreff ran up to Bloodaxe and punched him so hard blood ran from the wound and the traitor was knocked to the ground. Squigbreff allowed Blodaxe to stand up before he began his interrogation. Eventually Bloodaxe told him everything. Squigbreff stood dumbstruck as the Orc relayed the story of how he had been approached by a messenger from the lord of the town requesting his presence. He had gone along with the messenger to the town where the lord had presented him with a choice: either he and his army leaves the area, or he and his army attack as planned, the Orcs are captured when they enter the town, but he is allowed to go free, as long as he doesn't return to the area. He told Squigbreff that he had thought he would be able to attack the town and win. He was wrong.