Session Start: Mon Feb 01 19:48:30 1999
*** Now talking in #Subs_discuss
*** ChanOP (service@austnet.org) has joined #Subs_discuss
*** ChanOP sets mode: +o ChanOP
*** ChanOP changes topic to 'Discussion here tonight (Monday) 
9pm AEST...subs and switches only...Topic:  24/7 MYTHS AND 
IMAGINATION....presented by destinyBP.  Please adhere to channel 
rules and enjoy :))'
*** ChanOP sets mode: +nt
 ok...ready folks?
* belara chuckles
 hello kuff
<`patrick`> hi, Kuff
 greetings Garnett
 Hello Garnet, kuff
 yup
 Questions can be asked at any time during the 
discussion however due to time constraints it would be appreciated 
if personal experiences were not discussed, there will be time 
afterwards to do this
 hi kuff
 Also the sub play that we all love so much should 
be kept to a minimum or preferably not displayed at all in channel
 umm whats the discussion about tonight?
 If you have a question please indicate so by typing a ? 
and when you are asked to proceed please do so :)
 24/7 realtionships
 okies...back
 Hopefully we can limit the discussion to an hour 
to an hour and a half, as we know many of you have Master's or 
Mistress to attend to *grin*
* barak{Ras} smiles
 thank you...and now i'll hand you over to 
destinyBP :))
 Okay..before I start I have two short disclaimers to 
make...
 1) Since I am involved in a Male Dom/fem sub relationship, 
to save my sanity...I will refer to the Dominant as a Dom or 
"He"..etc....and due to the contruction of my relationship with 
BlackPrince, when I talk about subs, I will usually refer to them 
as "slaves"..
* barak{Ras} nods
 hi all
 2) What I am going to be talking about tonight is 
based on MY experiences...bear in mind, not ALL relationships 
are the same. Your relationship may be different...be happy in 
the differences :)
 hi all
 sorry i'm late....nearly forgot *sheepish look*
 Okay..I'm going to be talking about 24/7...the Myths 
and Imagination of it. During this chat, I'll be covering the
usual "Myths" about what 24/7 is REALLY like, what a day in the 
ife of a RL 24/7 slave is like, the Responsibilities of a 24/7 slave 
(and Dom), How to make a tired Dom FEEL "Dom" after a rotten day at 
work,  and the benefits of a 24/7 relationship.
* destinyBP winks at em..
 and of she goes
 oh dear lol...already!
* sara{X^L} smiles softly
 lol
 Well that was a short discussion :)
 a quikkie!!
* barak{Ras} pulls kenji{W}t down into the beanbag to snuggle
 wb destinyBP lol
 lol
 wb:)
* kuff refrains from saying anything ... but fails
 lol
<`patrick`> guess we'll have to use our imagination
* kenji{W}t snuggles in with barak to listen
 Or myths, 'patrick'. :)
 ok lets let destiny continue :)
 *lol* I"m back..sorry all..damn ircle:((
 ANYWAY.. *chuckles*  to start, I'll tell you a bit 
about how I got where I am.
 I was born an American and met BlackPrince online 
about 2 and a half years ago. He became my online mentor, and 
collared me 5 months after meeting me online for the first time.
* kuff snuggles down with himself
 I flew to Australia to meet Him and try my hand at 
RL 24/7 slavery 9 months after meeting Him, and returned to 
Australia in January 1997 to be with Him permanently. We were 
married nearly a year ago (on March 17th).
 From the first visit I had with Him, I have considered 
myself (and He has called me) a fulltime, 24/7, RL slave...
 When I first discovered BDSM, I rapidly developed 
some ideas of what RL slavery would be like. Tonight I'll deal 
with 4 of the basic "myths" that people who have NOT lived RL,
 24/7, commonly believe.
 1) Doms are ALWAYS decked out in leather or fetish 
gear, giving orders to the slave and wandering around with a 
whip to beat them if they screw up.
 True or False??
 f
 lol false
 f
 false
 i wish! (f)
 false obviously
 f
 f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f
 *laughs* I think most of us in this room would 
catagorically say that is FALSE (with a capital F)...
 f
 f
* Garnet smiles. If you wish: False. Or even FALSE. :)
 Myth 2)... Slaves are ALWAYS naked and BEGGGING to 
be used sexually or beaten.  ..True or False?
 f
 f
 f
 f.
 Fase
 hahaha false unless you are emerald
 f
 false too
 true ... oh alright, false
 *grins* again..that is false ( have you EVER been 
naked and begging for sex while cleaning a toilet or weeding the 
garden?)
* sea_urchin nods
* Garnet ewwws.
 ermm sorry .. forget i answered
* barak{Ras} pouts
 if i was naked i might be :-)
 lol
 Myth 3) Life is one 24 hour play session... 
True or False...
 false
 I do clean bathrooms naked - easier than having to 
wash my clothes. I just have a shower in the nice clean bathroom. :)
 f
 false
 false
 false.
* barak{Ras} wishes it were true...but f dammit
 f
 *lol* 
* cheekybren grins at barak{Ras}
 sorry im late.ill brb
* Garnet grins at barak.
* kuff must go afk :((((( will read the log later
 I wish!
 and Myth number 4) RL is like something out of 
"Story of O", "Gor", the Beauty series or the Marketplace 
series....True or False?
*** kuff is now known as kuff-afk
 f
 f
 f
 f again 
 f
 still wishin....but f
 again....this is also false.
* wee_foot{Y} loves the Story of O but f
 this quiz is easy  hehehe
 f
 f
 yea i think we pass cheekybren :)
 The fact of RL, 24/7...is that these common 
misconceptions are all false. As much as we WISH they were 
true...RL obligations and emotions intrude on that happy fantasy.
 This little quiz (easy tho it may be) leads me into 
the second section..."A Day in the Life"...
 Despite how much we would like 24/7 to be one constant 
play session, that isn't quite the way it happens. The best quote 
I've heard about RL is "24/7 REALLY means that you play  24 
minutes out of every 7 days - if you're lucky!
 sorry rather bad entrance was it not LOL
 please do so vidette{CL}
 I can't remember who told me that, but I ADORE 
that quote, because in the past year of being a fulltime slave 
with BlackPrince, I've come to the realization that that quote is 
VERRRRRRRY true!!!
* treasure{ROC} nods in agreement with destinyBP
 Many of us work, or have Master's who work and we 
all know that there are days when one of both of us is too tired 
to play or even THINK about playing (especially in a case like 
mine, where my Master is 35 years older than I am)...
* wee_foot{Y} found out what that was like after a week with Yeti
 A typical day in my life, would look to the "normal 
vanilla" eye just like an average marriage, (with a few 
excentricities)..
 Bp does NOT make me walk around on a leash when 
we go shopping, He doesn't make me weed the garden naked, 
etc...those things are fiction. They are interesting things 
to ponder, but not practical to RL situations.
 Another thing to remember, is that not ALL Doms 
are the same. Some Master's want to control their slave 24 
hours a day (although in my experience, those who have that 
idea are generally new and rather inexperienced)..
 Why do experienced Dom's tend to shun the idea of 
controlling their slave's every waking and sleeping moment? 
Because to control someone to that extent is physically, 
emotionally and mentally DRAINING!!!
 ?
 I consider myself lucky in the RL relationship 
I have with BlackPrince, because He values my mind and intellect,
 so that He leaves me much leeway in my daily life. So long as 
the chores get done and He is comfortably taken care of, He is 
happy for me to organize my day as I willl...He has enough to 
control those in His care at work, without saying to me 
"Yes girl....you may breathe now."
 Em.....:)\
 just a quick comment....that that would also 
never allow for any insight/growth of their slaves personality,
 would get very dull i would imagine
* destinyBP nods to em...yes..precisely. Although, I have spoken 
to Doms and their subs, who are happy with that kind of control. 
But as I said, it is draining and also a matter of personal p
reference within the relationship.
 Anyway.. *smiles* in my RL 24/7 lifestyle...Bp 
helps me with the chores, because we see that as contributing 
to our mutual comfort...as well as speeding the time it takes 
to do things..
 Thus leaving us more time for the things we WANT 
to do (like playing or visiting with kinky friends) rather than 
Him sitting around and waiting as I plow my way through chores...
 Furthermore, I decide what to serve Him and what to 
get at the store...WHY? Because He trusts me to fix things that He
 likes. Often as we shop, He adds things to the cart that He thinks 
of after the list is made (because I always ask if there is 
anything He is hungry for in the next week, while I make the list)
 Just like any relationship...we do the shopping, the 
cleaning, the normal mundane things of life.....He knows my goals 
for life and encourages me in them (like getting my Ph.D)...
 Also, BlackPrince has no interest in controlling my 
work life...that is MINE to take care of. Although He is more 
than happy to discuss problems with me or help me work things out..
 Which brings us to the responsibilities of a 24/7 
slave (not to mention the Dom..
 D/s relationships are a two-way street....each 
person is responsible for the other's physical, emotional and 
mental well-being.
 I care about Bp by encouraging Him to go to the 
doctor if He is ill, by being there for Him when He needs comfort 
(yes..even big, bad Dommly types need comforting at times)...
 AND...Master is there for me when I am sad, cares 
about my body by sending me to the doc if I need to go...etc..
 People often laugh when they find out that when I 
am ill, Bp shows He cares, by making me oatmeal for dinner. It 
doesn't sound like much, but in the past year, it has become a big 
comfort food, because that is how He shows me that He cares...
 In all relationships...it is good to remember that the 
little things DO mean alot...which is why I do "little" things 
to remind myself and Master, that I am slave and love to serve 
Him. (not that we really NEED the reminding...but I'll get to 
that in a bit)
 when I serve Master a drink, I always kneel and kiss 
the rim of the glass before presenting it to Him. He laughs and 
says it tastes better that way, but underneath the joking, we 
both know that the reason I do it, is a way to show Him that I 
belong to Him and the things I do are for His comfort in life.
 Now for the fun part *grins* "How to make a tired 
DOm FEEL Dom, after they have had a rotten day...
 In RL, 24/7 relationships...eventually, RL intrudes 
and your Master may come home feeling TIRED, Miserable, etc....
despite the hopeless way it may make you feel...there ARE things
 you can do to lift His mood a bit...and make Him feel a bit better.
 sorry all *sighs*
 wb destinyBP
 Anyway...vidette..can you repeat my last line?
  In RL, 24/7 relationships...eventually,
 RL intrudes and your Master may come home feeling TIRED, 
Miserable, etc....despite the hopeless way it may make you 
feel...there ARE things you can do to lift His mood a bit...
and make Him feel a bit better.
 Apologies. Bad connection.
 ooo...this is what happened last night :|
 there are a few around tonight..
 *sighs* sorry gang.. :(
 can anyone see me this time? I think I was lagging
 wb destinyBP
 yep...you're ok now destinyBP :)
 yup
 hi destinyBP
 Men^Tor will you please leave?
 yes destiny :)
 we are having a discussion
 can someone send me the last line I said?
  In RL, 24/7 relationships...
eventually, RL intrudes and your Master may come home 
feeling TIRED, Miserable, etc....despite the hopeless way it 
may make you feel...there ARE things you can do to lift His 
mood a bit...and make Him feel a bit better.
  can anyone see me this time? I 
think I was lagging.. :(
 oops...sorry lol
 okay *smiles* I know where I am now.. :)) 
WE'll try this again..
 When your Master feels rotten..a little creativity 
can go a long way to making Him feel better...
 this is also where having a bit of freedom of idea, 
helps...it's hard to plan surprises for Your Master if He is 
controlling your every movement all day long..."Master, I'd 
like to plan a special dinner for you next thursday at 8pm..
can I make a reservation at Chateau Eat?"
 Hmm...kinda ruins the element of surprise I think :)
* barak{Ras} nods and grins
* Garnet grins.
 As a slave...one of the things we can do to show 
our Masters we care, is to plan little surprises for them..from 
packing a special lunch to take to work with them, to running 
them a bath and playing the full "bath slave" roll to help 
them soak out the miseries of the day...
 ?
 Since I don't work..Master often calls me before 
He comes home from the university...I can tell from the tone 
of His voice if He has had a rotten day...so I will often 
prepare a bubble bath for Him, and as soon as He gets in the 
house, I gently steer Him into the bathroom and scrub away the 
cares of the day...which puts Him in a better mood for play, etc...
 yes weefootie?
 what if your Dom/me doesn't fit in a bath? *giggle*
 hehehe
 *lol* well weefoootie...be creative..ever thought 
about a sponge bath? *winks* could be interesting.. :))
 lol
 LOL
 ANYWAY *grins*....
 get a bigga bath ?
 Custard pit in the back yard?
 sowwy couldn't resist :)
 Surprise him with a spa tub? :)
 ?
 creativity is your BEST weapon to lift your 
Master's gloomy mood...although the phrase is Biblically based...
"Do unto others, as you would have them do to you" is a pretty 
good rule of thumb :))) Try to put yourself in your Master's 
shoes...and act accordingly :)
 yes ffairlady?
 destinyBP do you see much difference between a 
24/7 slave and a 24/7 sub ??? 
 *thinks* well ffairlady...to answer that I'd have 
to get into my definitions of the differences between a slave 
and a sub...
 in short....*thinks*
 in short..to me a 24/7 sub decides based on the 
situation, whether they will submit to the wishes of their 
Dom....whereas a slave gives that submission over ONCE, after
 that it is automatically expected....
 but then again..those are just my definitions...
and those are the things I act upon...
* sara{X^L} thinks that covers it pretty well destiny :)
 I consider myself a fulltime, 24/7 RL slave, 
because BP can ask things of me 24 hours a day, and I will 
comply..even if He wakes me up at 2 in the morning and asks 
me to make him a 7 course meal...I'll do it (tho the meal might 
be strange) :))
 lol
* ffairlady smiles
 One other thing I wanted to add under the heading 
of how to make your Dom FEEL their Domminess...
 and would it served with a smile??
 ?
 *nods to em* HELL YEAH...*grins* 
 As BP often tells me..it is when I *act* slave...
then He FEELS Dom....
* wee_foot{Y} nods
 because RL intrudes on our BDSM time...little things 
like me kneeling at His feet while we watch tv...or laying with my 
head on His toes, make Him feel more Dominant, which in turn 
makes Him feel powerful and needed...(good feelings to inspire 
in a tired Dom....)
 destiny..sylk has a question 
 yes..I just wanted to get that thought out before 
I forgot my place :) Go ahead sylk :))
 does being a 24/7 slave as opposed to 24/7 sub mean that 
safewords are not used?
 *smiles* that is dependent on the individual 
relationship...as I said at the start...
NO TWO BDSM RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE SAME.....it all boils down to 
individual preference.... :)) 
* sylk nods..thanks
 and each person's definition of slave and submissive
 can sara say something here destiny?
 if i may comment.......safewords would probably 
still be used in "scenes/play" but not in the day to day aspects, 
if you dont want to cook for him you cant safeword!!
 lol
 damnit
 i knew i was in the wrong place
 hahaha sea_urchin
* Garnet blinks at sea_urchin?
 ermm .. im not one for cookin Garnet 
 oops wrong bit.lol
 As for me...I have a safeword....but have forgotten 
what it is *lol* and will tell y'all a secret...when I am pierced 
for him in March, I will also give Him back the safeword...because 
I trust Him to take care of me...BUT I have also been with Him 
constantly for the last year...so I know Him and He knows me and 
my triggers/fears/ etc.. :))
 sure sara...*smiles* go ahead.. :)
 lol sea_urchin
 was going to say...usually in a Master/ slave there 
us total trust..so many dont use safe words as there is no need
..the Master knows fully the limits of His slave etc...but it 
is not that for everyone
 ?
* destinyBP nods..exactly sara...that goes back to the personal 
preference of the people in the relationship...
 yes kenji?
 may i ask for a cooment on part time 24/7 that 
is a week or two here and there togther
 I'll get to that in a few minutes kenji...if you 
can wait a bit :))
 np
 Anyway...I also wanted to share with y'all...the 
benefits that I see in 24/7 bdsm....I have observed these things 
in my friends and myself...
 Since becoming involved in a 24/7 relationship...
I have grown in self-confidence...I have been encouraged to 
explore my dreams (for instance Master is encouraging me to 
write a novel...and is always there to reassure me that I 
CAN DO IT...because He has faith in me even when I don't :)..
 I have gained a better understanding of bdsm, 
myself, Master and life in general...
 I have become more sure of my abilities and 
skills as a person...
 whoaaaaaaaa...splitsville
* emerald{IR} agrees and understands that fully destinyBP
 I have learned that it is okay to be who I am...
and I am a slave....and damnitt I'm HAPPY about it :))
* sara{X^L} smiles
 I have also learned what a wonderful feeling it 
is to have such a deep level of love, trust and communication 
with another person...to the point where there are times that 
words aren't needed....
 I have learned that BDSM play doesn't HAVE to 
end in sex....some of the most loving and sensual moments 
we have had...weren't sexual...they were cuddling and talking 
quietly in the dark of the night....THOSE are the moments I 
treasure..
 SO.....in conclusion...I wanted to answer 
another question (which kenji kinda hit on a moment ago)...
 "Can you still be a 24/7 slave if you are NOT with 
your Dom fulltime....."
 (and remember..this is MY OPINION...you are free to 
disagree)...
 But I think that YES...you ARE a 24/7...
 ?
* sara{X^L} agrees
* kenji{W}t agrees
 i also agree...once the commitment is made it 
is there 24/7...you don't switch it on and off...well we don't
 anyway :)
 Because 24/7 is NOT a matter of being together all 
of the time...it is a mindset and a feeling comprised of trust, 
communication and committment to your slavery and your Dom. 
If you have these things....(both you AND your Dom)...then 
YES...you ARE a 24/7 slave...and I wish you all the happiness 
in the world.. :))
 actually when i asked i was referring more to the 
slave/sub who spends weekends and some weeks on and off with a 
Master r/l
 But always remember..NO TWO BDSM RELATIONSHIPS are 
alike..whether online or irl..you have to learn to enjoy that which 
makes you different...and be accepting of the differences in the 
relationships of others....
 I'm not sure what your question is, kenji...could 
you maybe explain a bit?
 yes like you and me kenji
 yes kitten
 it is not play and a chance to serve a Master
 there she blows again..lol
 not at all
 and to spend extended time with them and to know 
each other
* sea_urchin waves
 i am very dedicated to my Master and i know 
you are also
 lol...you get a bit of a leg up in life maddie??? 
*GRIN*
 kenji when you arent with your Master...do you base 
your decisions on what He would agree with?
 wb destinyBP
 damn..did I miss the explanation?
 goodnight all...sweet dreams..
 no sara has nothing to do with present situation
* Garnet sighs, kicks her server.
 night tiger
* destinyBP sighs...sorry about that all...kenji..could you repeat 
for me?
 do you feel like it's a 24/7 thing kenji?
 no its not
* vidette{CL} ponders
 i don't believe that an odd day or such costitutesa 
24/7
* destinyBP nods to kenji...
 well kenji..I held a long distance relationship form 
the US to here, with BP for over a year..and for that time..I 
considered myself a 24/7 slave
 a week or two together yes as then there is time to 
be able to understand needs and wants
 CL and i are only together intermittently too, but 
the relationship continues everyday...it never lessens in anyway
 WHY? simply because 24/7...I tried to live a life 
He would be proud of, to do the little things I could to make 
His days brighter and show Him I cared, etc...
 same with sara 
 yes i also had a Master USA for 2 years and we spent 
a month or a fortnight together a number of times a year in a 24/7 
 so would you consider me 24/7 then?
 It goes back to the idea that..a collar isn't just 
something that you wear around your neck...it is around your 
heart...therefore it is ALWAYS with you..even if the collar has been 
temporarily removed (for an operation, etc..)
 and i lived the life he desired when away from him
 have to run..thanks destiny for an informative 
discussion :)))
 yuppers kitten..I've seen how much you think about 
your Master when apart..and how proud you are of what you do...
caring for you..I think you are :)))
 but to see someone on occassions i do not believe 
constitutes 24/7 this is only my opinion
 ooo again :\
* kitten{Ozzie^} smiles and thanks destinyBP..hugs :)
 *nods* well kenji..youare more than welcome to your 
opinion :))) That is what makes us different:))
 kitten i believe your relationship is very different
 how so kenji?
 WE all view things differently based on our personal 
perceptions...as long as you are happy...
 the depth of it
 i think the one thing we learn from discussions 
like this, is everyone interprets their situations differently...
we are all unique in our understanding of bdsm
 and that is it for me gang :))) hope I didn't 
ramble too much :)))
 not at all destinyBP it was great, thanks :)
* destinyBP runs over and tacklehugs jemstone..hoping she is 
still awake :))
* treasure{ROC} smiles... "It was great thanks destiny :))
 i congratulate you destinyBP on an excellent 
presentation
 kenji i don't know, i know you care very 
deeply for Wolfgar
* destinyBP huggers treasure..
* jemstone[H] laughs
 thanks kenji :))
 destiny...thank you for giving us such a personal 
and articulate insight into your life with BP...it is something 
many of us can gain inspiration from :)))
 thanks destinyBP
 Very interesting destinyBP  Thanks for your thoughts, 
*hugz*
 course i am awake hon... listening intently to your 
words... and thank you for your time :)
 i really must away, the chef needs feeding *g*
* destinyBP waves to IRIsh!!!!
 take care emerald{IR}
 thanks destinyBP!!
 thanks for the comments EM!!! *huggers*
 night em smooch
 cya emerald
 night em, and Irish :)
 see ya em.. *waves to IRish*...
 :) you too vidette{CL}, bye all, be well till 
next we meet....
* vidette{CL} smiles...sooo....any takers for next week ????? lol
 *lol*
* vidette{CL} chuckles
 and waits...
 sheesh, it will be hard to beat that
 hello ?
 thank you all for a wonderful evening... it was 
great and most informative :)
 sorry, vidette{CL}  will be in Adelaide for the next 
couple of months and puter has to stay here
 thanks for listening to me all...and not making me feel 
stupid :))
 destiny...you did an excellent job...most impressive :)))
 destinyBP it was great, you have me thinking here 
 destiny i am astounded you would say that
 i am definately sending a log of this to my Master
 *rotfl* sheesh..this is where I end up...4 years of 
taking speech classes and learning how people communicate...and 
I end up delivering a speech on the internet...VERY weird :))
 i enjoyed it destinyBP *hugggs*
 me too...CL will be most impressed :)
* aquaboy was wonderful destinyBP
Session Close: Mon Feb 01 22:38:26 1999

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