It is spring, and Cid Highwind has returned to Rocket Town to begin work on yet another invention: a new rocket. There is a knock on the door.
Cid: Who the @#$%^ is it?!
Yuffie: Hi Hi! I came to see if you had my Hanson CD!
Cid:Egad! What the @#$%^ would I be doin' wit' that @#$#$%%^ crap?!
Yuffie: Oh, I just thought that maybe you'd borrowed it...
Cid:(throws a piece of metal at her) Git the @#$%%^ outta here! (turns around to continue work) Goddam kids these days, @#$%^&*.
Vincent Valentine appears at the doorway, with stars dancing around his head. Cid had apparently whacked him with the piece of metal.
Vincent: Aya, Cid, you hit pretty hard...that was painful!
Yuffie: Vince, did you grab my Hanson CD?
Cid: (throws another piece of metal at Yuffie and again hitting Vincent) Shut the @#$%^&* up wit' that name!!!!
Vincent: Owwww....
Yuffie: So have you seen it or not?
Vincent: (rubbing head) Shit no, you know I do not listen to that crap.
Yuffie: Hey! Hanson is the best! Hanson rules! Hanson is number 1! Hanson! Hanson! Hanson!
Cid: Aaaaaaaaahhhh! Shut the hell up wit' that @#$%^&* name! (picks up invention out of anger and throws it at Yuffie.)
Vincent, who was just getting up, is knocked senseless again by the invention. The invention crashes into tiny pieces)
Cid: Goddammit!! My invention!!!!!!! See what your @#$%^&* Hanson did! My life is over!!!!!
Vincent:Your life?!!!!(crashes to the floor)
Yuffie: (seeing Vincent passed out on the floor) Oh well, I guess he won't be needing this(takes all his materia)
Cid gets up and begins to look for more pieces of metal when Shera, his lab assistant, walks in.
Shera:Cid, I've been meaning to ask you...
Cid:(interrupts her) Go jump off a @#$#%^%^&* cliff, Shera! Can't you see I'm @#$$%% busy?! Get lost!!
Shera:Yes, Sir (leaves the room)
Cid:Damn these people, have no respect for inventors. (takes a cigarrette from his goggles strap, lights it, and begins puffing)
Meanwhile...
Yuffie is in her house in Wutai, shining her newly aquired materia. She holds it up and looks at it admiringly.
Yuffie:Ahh....perfect! (stares at her reflection on the materia orb)
The door slams open.
Vincent: (with white bandages wrapped over the red ones on his head) Give me my materia! NOW!
Yuffie:(smiles sweetly)Hi Vince! (hugs materia protectively)What materia? These are mine!
Vincent: (lunges forward and tries to grab materia)It's mine! Give it back!!
Yuffie: No! It's mine!
Vincent:Mine!!!
There is a struggle for the materia when, out of the blue.....
World Shaking!
Deep Submerge!
Dead Scream!
Yuffie and Vincent are knocked to the ground.
Sailor Uranus: Invited by a new age, I am the magnificent Sailor Uranus!
Sailor Neptune: Also invited by a new age, I am the elegant Sailor Neptune!!
Sailor Pluto: And I am Sailor Pluto!
All: We are the three outer senshi of the outer solar system, sworn to protect the princess of the moon from any foreign invaders!
Vincent and Yuffie can only stare in confusion.
Vincent: Aya, Yuffie, what are they saying? I can't understand what they say.
Yuffie: I can't understand what YOU say most of the time.
Vincent: (this time whispering) What do they want?
Uranus: Our mission is to protect Sailor Moon from any foreign invaders.
Pluto: We cannot allow such powerful and dangerous devices in the hands of the enemy!
Yuffie: What devices?
Neptune: We will be taking these ( picks up ALL of Yuffie's materia).
Yuffie: Noooooooooo!!!! That's mine!!! (runs towards Sailor Neptune and the materia)
Sailor Pluto hits her away with her Garnet Rod.
Yuffie: Owwww!!! (falls to floor again)
Vincent scrambles to his feet and draws his gun.
Uranus: Space Sword! (points sword a mere inch from Vincent's neck)
Vincent swings his claw-arm and scratches Sailor Uranus' arm, causing her to drop her sword. Sailor Pluto then comes up from behind him and elbows him in the back, knocking him over too. Soon afterwards, the senshi disappear, along with the materia.
Yuffie: (running around in circles) My materia!! My materia!! MY MATERIA!!
Vincent: (looks at her) Half of it was mine, Yuffie!
Back in Rocket Town...
Cid is now busy working on yet another invention, a materia powered rocket. He had sent Shera to the store for some materia to power it while he installed some of his materia. He had his box of materia right next to him so he wouldn't have to get up for it later. He grabbed for a green materia.. The box was gone.
Cid: What the hell? I just put the @$#%$ box here!
He looks up and sees the outer senshi.
Cid: What the......
Uranus: We will be taking this materia with us.
Cid: Who the $^%R%@ are you? Give me back my materia box!! I need it foo'!!!!
At that same time, Shera comes in the room.
Shera: Cid, I just brought some fresh materia for your.... (looks at senshi)
The senshi gaze at Shera. Her lab coat pockets were FILLED with materia.
Uranus: You!! (dashes in a split second and takes Shera hostage)
Shera: Ahhh!! Cid!!! (struggling)
Cid: Shera!!
The senshi disappear soon after, along with Shera.
Cid: Shera!! (runs out the door) What the #@%^% is happening?!!
Meanwhile, at AVALANCHE headquarters in Midgar, where the rest of the team's materia was...
Barret and Tifa are spring cleaning the headquarters....
Barret: Well Tifa, now whaddya fancy we do wit' all them materias? We ain't fightin' no more, so it's useless ( points to materia box).
Tifa: We keep them. You never know when we just might need them.
At that moment, Marlene (Barret's five year old daughter) comes running in.
Marlene: (panting) Daddy! Daddy! Some girls in short dresses have Biggs and Wedge!! Hurry!
Barret: (looking at Tifa) Now what?
Barret and Tifa follow Marlene. Sure enough, the outer senshi were there. Biggs was being held by Sailor Uranus, while Wedge was being held by both Sailor Neptune and Sailor Pluto.
Barret: What the #%$#^@?? Who're all of ya?
Tifa: Let them go!
Uranus: Give us your materia first!
Neptune: Do as she says, or else!
Barret: (picks up Marlene) Or else what?
Pluto: Or else they will suffer a very cruel death.
Sailor Uranus draws her sword.
Uranus: Do you really want me to kill them?
Barret: (chuckles, then picks up materia box and hands it to Tifa) They're replaceable. Run Tifa!!
Biggs: No, no, no!! Barret! Wait!!
Wedge: Don't leave us, please!!
Barret and Tifa escape, leaving Biggs and Wedge to their doom.
Biggs and Wedge: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Sailor Uranus stabs them both with her sword.
Soon, Vincent, Yuffie, Barret, and Tifa are with Cid aboard the Highwind, discussing the attacks that had just happened.
Cid: Them sailor @$#$^!^%& are gonna pay! They took my materia AND Shera!! Just who the %$%^%%@%@ are they?!!!
Yuffie: They took all of MY materia too!! We have to do something!!
Vincent: Aya, Yuffie, half of it was mine.
Tifa: They almost took our materia too, if it weren't for Barret's quick thinking!
Vincent: Aya, Barret, how did you escape with the materia?
Barret: Well, it was either the materia or Biggs and Wedge's lives.....I decided that the materia was more useful.
Yuffie: Right on Barret!!!
Vincent: But they are not for you Yuffie!
Yuffie: (sits down) I know, I know.
Cid suddenly gets up and grabs Vincent by the neck and proceeds to strangle him, banging him against the wall.
Cid: Them sailor @%%%&^^R#@ are gonna pay, ya hear??( still shaking Vincent) They're gonna #@%$#^% be cryin' when I plant my foot up their $%^&*# @$$e$!!
Vincent: Ahahhhahhahahahaha........
Barret: But who the #$%^&* are they and what do they want wit' materia?
Vincent: (rubbing neck) They said something about a Sailor Moon.
Yuffie: Yeah, that's it. Something about protecting a moon sailor or something.
Cid: Moon sailor my @$$!! She's as good as dead as the rest of ‘em!!
Tifa: We need to warn Cloud, Red XIII, and Cait Sith. Chances are, they haven't attacked them yet.
Vincent: Good idea.
Tifa: Let's go Barret!!
Meanwhile, with the other sailors...
Mars: Good job, Sailor Uranus. Is this the last of the materia?
Uranus: No, two of them escaped with the last of the materia, leaving their friends to die.
Mars: Well, at least we have one of them hostage (looks at Shera).
Mercury: So now, all we need is the materia from those two that escaped, and the materia from three more characters: a young man named Cloud Srife, a cat/dog named Red XIII, and a cat on a moogle named Cait Sith.
Jupiter: We should go in our civilian identities. That Cid character, Vincent, and that Yuffie must have alerted everyone by now.
Venus: Good idea Sailor Jupiter.
StarFighter: I'll go get the materia from that Cloud Strife guy at Nibelheim.
Jupiter: I'll go get the materia from the cat/dog at Cosmo Canyon.
Venus: And I'll go get it from the cat/moogle alias Reeve in Midgar.
StarFighter: The rest of you, keep searching for a way to rescue the princess!!
All: Got it!
Shera: (thinking) What on earth is going on here?
Before Sailor StarFighter leaves...
StarFighter: I think I better stay like this. I can't go pretend to hit on that guy Cloud if I'm in my guy form. (Gets ready) Cloud Strife, here I come!
At Cloud's house in Nibelheim....
Cloud was also spring cleaning his home.
Cloud:(looks at materia box) What should I do with all my materia? It's useless to me (picks one up and shines it).
StarFighter: (in a soft voice) You could give it to me.
Cloud: Huh? (looks up)
StarFighter: (smiling sweetly) I'm a materia collector. I've been searching the world for rare materia, and here you have some of the best materia I've seen.
Cloud: How did you know that I had materia?
StarFighter: A man at Rocket Town named Cid Highwind told me you had some great materia. Look, he even gave me his (shows Cloud Cid's stolen materia box).
Cloud: Wow! Well, in that case, here you go. If Cid gave you his, then I guess it's all right... (hands Sailor StarFighter the materia box, and stays staring at StarFighter)
StarFighter:(taking the materia box) What's the matter?
Cloud: You're beautiful. (slaps hand to mouth) Ooops, sorry.
StarFighter: That's okay. Well, thank you very much for this materia. You've been very helpful. (thinks to self) More help than you know.
Cloud: No problem...(Sailor StarFighter leaves) She's beautiful...
StarFighter: (thinks) Sucker...
Tifa runs in as just as soon as Sailor StarFighter leaves.
Tifa: (panting) Cloud!! Where's your materia?
Cloud: I just gave it all away! Why?
Tifa: You WHAT?!!
Cloud: I said I gave them away. This pretty girl came in and said she collected rare materia, so I gave her mine! She even showed me Cid's!
Tifa: (slaps hand to forehead) You stupid #%&%#@$$ dork!! She STOLE Cid's materia!!
Cloud: What are you talkin' about? Calm down, Tifa!!
After Tifa explains everything to Cloud...
Cloud: Why didn't you come sooner?
Tifa: Because we didn't know either! They barely attacked us too! By the time we realized what they were after, it was too late.
Cloud: Well SORRY! How was I supposed to know?
Tifa: Let's go back to the Highwind and help Cid try to develop a strategy. And let's hope that they haven't taken the materia from Red XIII and Cait Sith. At least they don't give materia to pretty girls!
Cloud: Lighten up Tifa! (grabs sword off the wall and straps it to his back) Let's go!
At Cosmo Canyon...
RedXIII: They're cute. (looks at newborn cubs)
Red's Mate: They sure are.(begins to lick them)
Someone knocks on their door. Red pushes it open. A brown haired girl is standing in the doorway.
Lita: Hello! My name is Lita! I'd like to congratulate you and your new family!
RedXIII: Thank you. Who, may I ask, are you?
Lita: I'm........ a passer-by. See, I was looking for someone who needed these (shows Red collars and some headdresses). If you need them, they're yours.
RedXIII: (takes them) Thank you very much.
Lita: I have a favor to ask of you. Do you have any materia? See, a girl named Yuffie Kisaragi is paying me 10 grand if I bring her a lot of materia.
RedXIII: Yes, I have some materia.
Lita: May I please have it? I need the money! (thinks) I hate acting like a homeless person.
RedXIII: (points to materia box with paw) They're in that box over there. Take as much as you need. Good luck and take care miss. (Walks over to mate and the cubs)
Lita: Thank you very much sir (takes the materia, then leaves). Hmmm, mission accomplished. (Walks off)
Shortly after, Barret runs into Red XIII's room.
Barret: Red, where's your materia?
RedXIII: Barret, where are your manners? There's a thing called knocking!
Barret: Forget that!! Where's your materia?!!
RedXIII: I just gave it away, why?
Barret: (slaps hand to forehead) Dammit!! I'm too late!!
RedXIII: Late for what?
Barret informs him about everything.
Barret: Come wit' us man!
RedXIII: Sorry Barret. I need to be with my cubs.
Barret: All right, man. I understand. Just be careful!
RedXIII: I will. (Watches Barret leave)
Barret: Dammit!! (running back to the Highwind) This ain't goin' good!
In Midgar...
Reeve was driving his car to work.
Reeve: Dammit! Can't see $hit with all this rain! (Turns windshield wipers on faster)
He notices a girl waving frantically in the middle of the street for him to stop. He swerved to avoid hitting her and loses control.
Reeve: $hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!! (tries to regain control)
Reeve's car swerves and screeches, and then runs straight into a tree. The girl runs up next to the accident and stares in horror.
Mina: What have I done? (Begins to cry) I didn't mean to! (Sees briefcase on the ground near the car) The materia! (She also sees Reeve struggling and gasping for air) Oh, no!! What do I do now?
She looks at the materia, then back at Reeve...
It was about three hours after Reeve's accident. Cid and Vincent were now at the operation room table at work trying to figure out a plan to get Shera and the materia back when the others come into the room.
Tifa: We were too late. They took Cloud's and Red's materia. (Eyes Cloud) And Cloud's was his fault!!
Cloud: Hey! She was pretty! And besides, she had Cid's materia!
Yuffie: You are so stupid Cloud....
Vincent: Ay, where's Red?
Barret: We don't know. He wasn't at his house or at his work when I went to look for him.
Cid: $hit!
Tifa: We have to protect the last of the materia!
Yuffie: And get back my materia!
Vincent: (looks at Yuffie)Ay, half of it was mine!!
Barret: But where can we put it to make sure it doesn't get stolen while we're off guard?
Tifa: We could've given it to Biggs and Wedge, but now that's out of the question.
There is a loud crash on the deck floor.
Cid: What the @$&^*&^ was that? It's probably them!! They're back!!
They all run to the deck. They are startled as to what they see: Sephiroth, on the deck floor, unconscious, along with Aeris, and right next to her, Biggs and Wedge.
Cid: What the.....?
Barret: What the hell is goin' on?