Cloud walked past the rocky wall of the City of Ancients. The walls paved a path inward, a path that would take him there again....
As he walked, he thought of her..Then again, he always thought of her. That beautiful smile she always had, no matter what the cirmcumstances were, no matter what went on. The smile so beautiful that she wore right before she died. Smiled all the way to the end....
NO, thought Cloud to himself as he walked on, past the bushes, and past the small river that flowed in. Don't think of that! Think of something else, man..something wonderful about her!
He thought about her loving personality. Yes, the beautiful sweetness that was deep in
her heart. The way she acted, even through Cloud's rudeness. Yeah. He acted like a total jerk around her. Always so damn mean to her. He didn't give much of a damn about what she did or how she would react. He just went ahead and behaved like a jack-ass. Yet everytime he gave a nasty comment about her, she kept her cool and smiled. Just smiled. She never once returned the coldness that Cloud gave her, not at all. She cared about him and liked him very much, no matter how mean he was. Especially when she........
No! Think of something else! ANYTHING!! Cloud tried to think of something wonderful about her, something that wouldn't bring any memories of.....
His thoughts came to that one moment when he especially felt the happiest in his life. That special time...the date they had. The surprised feeling he felt when she came into his hotel room late at night, asking for a date. He felt nothing but shocked. On the outside, however, he acted his usual cool and collected self. More like jerk. He pretended that he was reluctant to go. But in the inside, he....well, he was just in heaven. He felt more lightheaded and in heaven once
the two boarded the gondola for thier date...
What was it she said to him? Cloud couldn't remember much-and he hated himself for that. The one time in his life where he truely felt happy and he blew it. But then again, he couldn't blame himself for that...he was so happy that he couldn't concentrate on what she was saying. What a dumbass, Cloud. All he did remember was that she mentioned that she wanted to meet the "real him". That probably meant that she was talking about Zack or something else. He didn't care. All he knew was that he was in love...
But he never got the chance to confess it all. To tell her.
Cloud reached his destination. The lake. The one where she was resting in.....
Cloud could no longer hold it in anymore. He knew no matter what he did, or what he thought of, she would always be dead.
He chocked back tears as he remembered Sephiroth driving his Masamune right through her innocent body. And the shock he felt..so shocked he couldn't move until she was dying..
But what tortured him the most was the very thought that he had tried to kill her himself.
Cloud held his head as the tears came down harder. He "grred" his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut so tight they hurt. But he didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore.
"I failed you Aeris," he said as he sobbed. He layed down the boquet of flowers he had brought before he came to see her. They were her favorite kinds of flowers, the ones she was selling when they first met. So beautiful and full of life..like she had been then.
Cloud's thoughts returned to Aeris' death. He kept crying over and over, knowing that it was his own damn fault she died. After all, he did fail to protect her...
He let her down.
"God...I don't deserve to be happy and move on with my pathetic life..," he said out loud, to no one in particular. That comment made his thoughts shift to Tifa. Poor Tifa. He knew that she was reallly in love with him and he could move on with her. But Cloud had already made a desicion.
He truely believed that he didn't deserve to be happy with her or anyone. Cloud sobbed one more time as he looked into the flowing lake where she was there, waiting for him...
So beautiful, mystical...
Just like her....
Cloud pulled from his pocket a small dagger. It wasn't something he would normally use in battle, but it was enough...enough for him to....
Cloud closed his eyes and gave some final thoughts...
God...I'm so sorry I have to leave all of you...especially you, Tifa, he thought. But I failed her..I let her down, I let her die! Now I have to take my punishment like a man...a coward that I am. I'm going to be with her as well.
Make it all up to her...
Cloud's eyes remained closed. He stood there for a moment before bringing the dagger to his chest.
"I'm gonna make it up to you, Aeris, darling I swear I will.."
With that, he drove the dagger instantly through his chest as he felt the pain...the enormous pain that she must have felt when Sephiroth killed her. Now he had the chance to experience what his beloved suffered, because of him. However, no pain was greater than the feeling of losing the one he loved...not even death.
In an instant, he dropped the dagger and quickly stepped into the lake where Aeris had been "buried". God, I'm so sleepy, Aeris..I want to fall asleep right next to you, my love.."
His eyes never again opened. Cloud's body then began to sink, sinking into the lake where his beloved rested. And as he fell, he felt the crisp coolness of the fresh water, so refreshing..so wonderful. Cloud thought he must have already been in heaven because of the wonderful feeling and any second now, he would be reunited with the woman he loved...
Finally, his body landed at the bottom of the lake, right next to the dead body of Aeris. As he came to the bottom, he could have sworn that he felt her very presence..as if she was alive. Then Cloud smiled and waited for the reunion of him and his beloved......
Author's Notes: Okay, okay, I was cruel to Cloud, but I just don't want him to end up with Tifa. I think he deserved Aeris better. And I'm NOT SUICIDAL, I just felt like that's what Cloud would normally do! :) In fact I feel good about this story, which is my first serious FF7 fics. If you don't like this story, email me at crono_67@hotmail.com and give me your comments.
Thanks
Crono