Cloud's FFT adventure
(right after cloud pops out of the globe thing)
Cloud:AHHHHH! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!???
Ramza: I'm Ra...
Cloud: IT DOESNT MATTER WHO YOU ARE!! IM OUTTA HERE!!!![kicks Ramza in the nuts and runs out]
Mustido: Now who do you think that crazy bitch was.....
Ramza: I don't know....should we go after him????
Mustido: Nah...he looked like a freak i wouldnt wanna be around him...
.Ramza: Your right lets just get outta here.
(a few weeks later)
Agrias: Hey Ramza lets go to Zarghidas Trade City.
Ramza: Why????
Agrias: I need a new purse.
Mustido: A new purse????? You don't even have an old purse! And if you didwhat would you put in it???
Agrias: I dunno.....my chocobo drivers license....my...uhhh....SHUT UP YOU!!!
Mustido: Alright alright,dont get your brain all in a ball..[softly]whatlittle one you have...
Agrias: I HEARD THAT YOU STUPID BASTARD...I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS NOW!!!!!!
Ramza: EH! EH! SHUT UP WE'LL GO!
Agrias: YEAH!
(Zarghidas Trade City)
(Cloud suddenly bolts across the street)
Cloud: DAMNIT!!! I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS YOUR WIFE!
Angry Crossdresser: COME BACK HERE YOU BASTARD SO I CAN BEAT THE SHIT OUTTAYOU!!
(in comes Ramza,Agrias,Mustido,and Orlandu)
Ramza: HEY YOU CROSSDRESSING BITCH WHAT ARE YOU DOIN????
Crossdresser: He screwed my wife.
Ramza: Ohhhh thats excusable,have fun.
Orlandu: Ramza,what are you doing?????should we really let him get his ass kicked???
Ramza: Yeah,that bitch kicked me in the nuts.
Orlandu: Ohhhhhhhh
Crossdresser: Your mine now bitch,HA HA HA HA HA!
Mustido: AH HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!
Cloud: Uh oh......[cloud runs and bitchslaps Ramza]
Mustido: HA HA!!!! Ramza you just got bitchslapped!!!!!
Ramza: I know...[chases after Cloud
(in come some theifs)(Ramza comes to a complete stop)
Ramza: YOUR ON YOUR OWN NOW!!!! HA HA HA HA HA
Lead Theif: Hey you. Where do you think your going????
Cloud: I'm running away from that angry crossdresser over there.
Theif: Ohhh ok,go ahead.
Cloud Thank You!
Ramza: wait...that wasnt supposed to happen.....damnit we were supposed tosave him...
Orlandu: See thats what you get for bein a dildo and not helping him in thefirst place!
Ramza: I'm sorry......(Orlandu bitchslaps Ramza)
Orlandu: You better be sorry,now never do it again!
Ramza: Aight(sometime later in Dorter Trade City)
Cloud: DAMNIT!!!!!I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!
Angry Mime: !!!!!![chases after Cloud]
Cloud: damn i've got to get some serious help....
(in comes Ramza,Mustido,Agrias and Boco the Chocobo)
Cloud: YOU FREAKS WITH THE CHOCOBO,COME HELP ME!!!!!
Ramza: only cus Orlandu told me to.....[goes and bitchslaps Cloud then kicksthe mime in the head]
Mime: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cloud: HEY YOU SORRY BITCH,WHY'D YOU HIT ME!!!
Ramza: Cuz i felt like it....
Agrias: damnit Ramza your doin it all wrong....[does holy explosion on Cloud]
Ramza: Agrias i think you killed him.....
Boco: WARK!!!!!
Agrias: Nah....one won't kill him...but if i did another...
Ramza: Nah...just leave him be....(the mime mimics Agrias)
Agrias: Uh oh.......(Cloud falls to the ground dead)
Ramza: Should we use a pheniox down on him.....
Mustido: But we only have one left......
Agrias: But i feel kinda responsible for killing him.....
Mustido: But we only have 1,000,000,000,000gil....you sure we can afford tobuy another???
Agrias: It's kinda close,but as heros i guess its our job to save him
Mustido: Your right...
(just then Cloud's counter reaches zero)
Crazy annoucer dude: Cloud turned into a treasure chest
Ramza: Uh oh....
Boco: WARK!!!!! WARK!!!!!!
Agrias: wait....that wasnt supposed to happen.....
Ramza: But it just did.....
(just then about 1000000000000 people appear outta no where)
Angry mob: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU KILL HIM?????HE WAS SUPPOSED TO SAVE OURWORLD!!!!
Ramza: Uhhhhhh......AGRIAS DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Agrias: RAMZA!!!!!!
Mob: Well bring him back to life!!!! NOW!!!!!!
Ramza: I don't think we can.....
(just then god appears)
God: Damn you worthless peices of shit......do i have to do everything???
(God revives Cloud and the mob disappears.)
Ramza: Damn...and i wanted to see what was in his treasure chest.....
Cloud: HEEEEY YOU GUYS SAVED ME!!! Maybe i can help you on your journey!!
Crazy announcer dude: Will you add Cloud to your party????????
Ramza: No
Crazy announcer dude: Cloud join up!
Ramza: BUT I SAID NO!!!!!
Crazy announcer dude: Yeah but i think you suck so HA!
Ramza: damnit....
Mustido: Well....where should we go now?????
Ramza: I dunno.....anyone got any suggestions???
Boco: WARK!!!!!!
Ramza: No Boco! FOR THE LAST TIME AGRIAS WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU!!!!
Boco: wark.....
Agrias: Hey!!! I DIDN'T SAY THAT!!!
Boco: WARK!!!!!!!!!!
Agrias: don't worry Boco...we'll have some time alone later.
Boco: WARK!!!!! WARK WARK!!!!!!!!
(suddenly Boco falls over dead)
Agrias: Heeeey.....why did that happen.....
Mustido: Prolly got scared cus your do ugly....
Agrias: HEY THATS NOT TRUE!!! IT WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!!!
Mustido: Well I can't help that chocobo was a dumbass...
.Ramza: ENOUGH YOU TWO!!!
Agrias and Mustido: Aight
Ramza: now where to???
Cloud: Heeeey lets goto Bervenia Volcano.
Ramza: Why??? Cloud: My sword is there
Ramza: OK
Bervenia Volcano it is!(later at the volcanco)
Ramza: So wheres your sword????
Cloud: At the top
Ramza: OK I'll be right back
[Ramza goes and gets the sword and comes backdown]
Cloud: No monsters...ohh well...
(later at Murmond Death City against Bloody Angel)
Cloud: So Alma, you wanna get together and have some fun after this battle????
Alma: Yeah sure...
(just then the battle ends and everything goes flying off)
(1 year later as Orlandu was walkingf through the woods he spots a baby onthe ground)
Orlandu: Whats with this spikyhaired kid....
Orlandu: ...ohhh that damn bastard Cloud just couldnt contain himself...
Orlandu: ohhh well....thats probably a good sign the Strife family will bearound for many generations..
(just then a giant meteor stirkes the planet)
Orlandu: DAMNIT SQUARE!! THE WRONG GAME!!!
Squaresoft guy: ooooops....my bad...
(everything goes back to normal and Orlandu and the little baby live happiyfor the rest of Orlandu's life because thats when the mighty sorceress decided to take over the world....go figure...)