Tifa: OOOOoooo!! Don't you think Leonardo DiCaprio is just absolutely the hottest hunk around?

Aeris: (sighs) No Way! I think Leo's too young. Now, a perfect example of a hunk would be

Dean Cain! He's soooooo dreamy....

Yuffie: Dean Cain is ancient! Real men are someone like the Hanson brothers. Oh, they're so

sexy and cute!!

The three girls were giggling at thier favorite stars. Shera, much to anyone's surprise, was also

gocking at the magazine. She smiled at a pin-up.

Shera: I think Brad Pitt is the cutest of them all.

The three girls suddenly become quiet. They are surprised at Shera's interest in movie stars as she usually is studying or working with machines.

Shera: What? Just because I work a lot dosen't mean I cannot appreciate good looking men too.

Yuffie: HA! I think you just like Brad Pitt because he's got a small beard growing, he smokes

and he has short blonde hair. Now, who looks like that from our group?

Tifa and Aeris: CID!!!!!

Shera:(blushing) That's not true!! Cid is nowhere as good looking as Brad Pitt!

Aeris: Hee-hee...we're sorry Shera, it's because we just can't imagine you with anyone else but

Cid.

Tifa: Even though he is a pain in the ass!

The four girls continue to giggle (even Shera) when all of a sudden, Sephiroth, who was eating a swirly strawberry lollipop, materializes next to the girls. The AVALANCHE men continue to conversate, not even knowing that Sephiroth was near the girls.

Sephiroth: (lick, lick) Oooooo, what'chya all talking about

Yuffie: It's girl talk only!

Tifa: You wouldn't wanna talk about what's on this magazine!

Sephiroth takes a look at the magazine and sees all the guys on it.

Sephy: Wow, he's got some bicepts! I wanna be like him (lick lick) yes I do!

Tifa: Sephiroth, get the hell out of here or else I'll shove that lollipop where the sun don't shine!

Sephy: .......it's cloudy today.

Aeris: Go away.

Sephy: (sniff sniff) .....Fine...but you'll all be sorry! (Raises arms)

Aeris: Oh my..

Sephiroth casts a spell on all the girls, thus creating a fog. As usual, the AVALANCHE men didn't even notice.

Tifa: (cough, cough) What the hell is this?

Sephiroth then leaves and the fog clears.

Tifa: Damn, what was that all about?

Yuffie: Well..he did say that we were going to be very sorry. Maybe he farted and that was our

punishment. Hee-hee...I don't smell anything though...

Suddenly, Aeris turns to Yuffie and slaps her.

Yuffie: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?

Aeris: Shut the hell up you ditzy bitch! I've always hated your childish and moronic behaviour!

Yuffie: AAAAHHHH!!!!! @#$% you you whore, what makes you think your so much mature

than me!

Shera then stands up to settle the two.

Shera: Ladies, ladies, settle down? What's gotten into you?

Tifa then turns and bitch slaps Shera.

Shera: Hey-----!

Tifa: You shut the @#$% up! I've always hated you because of your smarts, beauty and

friendliness!

Shera: But Tifa, why is that reason to hate me?

Tifa: Well..because Cloud likes those types of gals and he might end up liking you. It happened

with Aeris!

Shera: And is it my fault if he ends up liking me? Besides, it's better that he likes those kinds of

women, who are REAL women instead of the slutty whores like you that give us women

a bad name!

At this point, the AVALANCHE guys, Cloud, Barret, Vincent, Red XIII, Reeve and Cid had now shut up and were getting interested in the fight.

Tifa: HA! At least I have a beautiful body and a nice big set of hooters to go along with it, just

what real men want, compared to skinny flat-chested bitches like you!

AVALANCHE men: OOOOoooo........

Shera: (folds arms) Yeah too bad brains don't come with an inflatable body! I'll bet if I stuck a

pin on your body, the whole thing would deflate!

AVALANCHE men: OOOooooo........

Tifa: Ha! You just say that because you're jealous of me and my body that you will never have!

Shera: (smiles) Ah, but WHO is the jealous one? You're the one who hates me for my beauty

and brains, which you will never aquire!

Tifa: .......................

Shera: that's what I thought...(loudlly) SO DON'T @#$% WITH ME, OR ELSE YOU WILL

GET DEALT WITH TEN TIMES MORE @#$$ WORSE THAN YOU @#$&ING

IMAGINE, YOU @#$^%$ PROSTITUDE, BIMBO HO!

AVALANCHE MEN: OOOOOO (they began clapping).

Cloud: Whoa, now that is some woman! Never knew she could be as foul-mouthed and tough

as Cid!

Vincent: Well, what do you expect for someone living with Cid Highwind, master cusser of the

world!

Cid: (lights a cigarrette) Yup! She learns from me alright!

As for Yuffie and Aeris.......

Aeris: You know, I don't even know why they let little hoochies like you in this group anyway!

Yuffie: Hoochie? Who are you calling a hoochie you deep reapeatin' sack of shit!

Aeris: YOU! You definatley look like a hoocher with that damn outfit, I mean, who the @#$# is

gonna wanna look at your dirty pussy and blubber stomach! God, people must see you

down the street and say "Gawddamn, that sure is one @#$$in ugly chick!"

Yuffie: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, TAKE IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!

AVALANCHE MEN: oooooooooo..........

Aeris: Take this you materia stealing crack headed bitch!

Aeris grabs her princess guard rod and whacks Yuffie unconcious. The guys began "oooing" and

clapping while Aeris takes a bow.

Aeris: Thank you, thank you....(looks at Yuffie) Nighty-night, Yuff!

Cid: Damn, it's about time someone finally did that! I hope she dosen't wake up.

Barret: Damn, dat woman surprises me!

Cloud: She's cute, sweet AND tough.......

Reeve: Just what the hell is going on anyway? I mean, why the hell are these women about to kick the shit outta each other?

Shera: (pulls out minicomputer) Good question, Reeve. It seems that when Sephiroth payed us a visit.........

Tifa: (folds her arms and rolls her eyes) Oh great, now she's gonna go show off her stupid brainy talent...

Shera: ....he seemed to have cast a spell on us girls that will make us fight each other........

Tifa: (mockingly)blah blah, blah.........

Shera: .......but this should wear off in a hour or so.............

Tifa:(snorts) whatever, ho!

Shera:WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP?

AVALANCHE men: OOOooooo........

Cloud: Looks like they're gonna fight again....

Barret: Alwight!

Tifa: Make me shut up, you wench!

AVALANCHE MEN: OOOOoooo.....

Shera: (angrily slams down minicomputer) I'm so sick of your no-brain, bimbo bitch attitude! Eat shit and die!

With that, Shera raises her fist and knocks Tifa out with a mighty punch.

Shera: Nighty, night, you jezebel.

Avalanche men begin to clap and whistle.

Barett: Alwight, now dat's a woman!

Red XIII: You all, I really gotta go take a shit...

Everyone then becomes really quiet. Red XIII gets an anime sweatdrop.

Red XIII: Be back in a while.....(walks to liter box).

Everyone resumes talking again.

Vincent: Shera is beautiful, brainy and tough....I wish Lucrecia had been that way...

Cid: Man, get the hell over that woman already!

Vincent:............

Cid: Damn!

Suddenly, Aeris bursts into tears. Everyone turns to her.

Cloud: What's the matter Aeris darling?

Aeris: Her! (points to Shera) I used to be the sweetest one here and the center of attention until she came along!

Shera: Huh? Hey I didn't.....

Aeris: Shut the hell up!!!!!!!!!(pounces on her and begins to pull her hair).

Shera: AAAAAAHHHHH get the hell off me!!!Cid, help!!!!!!

Avalanche guys get anime sweatdrops on thier heads.

Cloud: Looks like they're gonna fight again!

Barret: So? Bitch Fights rule!

Cid: (chuckling and smoking) Yeah. I'm rootin for Shera!

Shera: Help me CID!!!!!!!!!!

Cid: Heh, heh.....

Cloud: Okay....then I root for Aeris!

Barett: Alwight, me too, foo'!

Vincent: I shall bet on Shera......

Everyone stares at Vincent as he is the type who would stop these fights rather than betting on them.

Vincent:................

Reeve: I'll bet 2000 gil on Shera.....besides, I always thought she was cute.

Cid: (Puffing on ciggie) HEY!

Red XIII: (shaking head) You know, my litter box needs a little cleaning, don't you guys think so?

Everyone:..................(cricket noises are heard. Cricket, cricket)

Red XIII: Geez........

Everyone ignores him and continues to watch the girls fight.

Cloud: Hoo, boy, when they recover, it's going to get ugly.......

Cid: @#$%! Who cares?

Barret: Yeah, bitch fights rule!

Vincent:..........heh heh, I agree.....

Everyone:..............

Vincent:....................

Everyone:............

Vincent:.................

Everyone: ................

Vincent:..............

Everyone:...................

Vincent:..............

Crono(from Chrono Trigger):.....................................(translation: Hey, you all stole my lines!)

Vincent:.................

Crono:...................

Vincent:..............

Crono:............

Cloud: Oh, well, at least they found something to do for the next hour or so.