geek ff7-what would happen if AVALANCHE was a group of cyber geeks
by:cait sith caitsith1@spyring.com
prolouge:
About a week ago,in a town called "kalm york",a bunch of 15 year
old cyber computer-geeks were serching yahoo! for a game called
final fantasy 7.Their names were-clout,tina,faireis,kettleoth,
vince,barreck,nuffiy,kait cith,sid,red 5,seno,nude and nelena.
they all hung out at the boys and gurls club.all of them owned computers and they were OBSESSED with the game.FF7.their
freind,ketteleoth,was killed in a massacre in mid-chago on vacation last year.
CHAPTER 1
it was wendsday,and school was out.so,ALAVANCE,Their little "team"was on the net like they do everyday.
Clout:comeon,dail dammit.
(tina runs in.)
Tina:Clout!I got big shiny tunes 2!
Clout:pop it in!
Tina:what number?
Clout:lemmie see... . . . . . 2!
Tina:blur kicks ass!
(Tina opens cd player and puts CD in)
stereo:click click!
Blur:WWOOO HHO!!WELL,IVE SEEN HEAVY METAL,WOO HO!
Tina:sup?
Clout:chattin with Sid.
(computer screen shows IRC-
Clout:I got hit zone 4.
Tina:play that.
Clout:sure.
(clout pops it in)
Stereo:click click!
Tina:number 15.
Clout:Bryan Adams?
Bryan Adams:im comin back to you! back to you!
Clout:#17,PLEASE.
The mighty,mighty bosstones:thats the impression that I get!
Tina: did u watch the news last night?
Clout:Imagine,some kewl man like that dressing up as Crash bandicoot for some publicity stunt.
Tina:hhmm...DING!
(a lightbulb appears above Tinas head)
Tina: I got it!! we can be the FF7 guys and win the money!!
Clout:good idea!
the bosstones:thats the impression I get!
Clout: kill those bosstones.theyre on my nerves.
chapter 2
end of DCC session.
Sid:Ive gotta tell the guys!
(Sid phones everybody and he comes back in 5 minutes.)
Sid:now,my costume.
(the next day,at the contest.)
Clout is Cloud,Tina is Tifa,Sid is Cid,Nude is Rude,Seno is Reno,faireis is Areis,Nuffiy is Yuffie Red 5 is Red 13,Nelena
is Elena,kait cith is cait sith vince is Vincent barreck is Barret.there is a guy as
sonic,mario,tenka,Gex,a guy from leauge of pain,Leon,Claire,Chris and Jill.
Red 13:weve got compotition.
Cid:this spear kicks ass!
(a guy as sephiroth shows up.)
cait sith:dont I know him?
Vincent:..............yes! ive perfected the art of being silent!
Areis &yuffie:you are sooo weird.
(barret listens to his cannon-radio.)
Barret:thats the impression that I get.ddoo doo ddo doo
Cloud and Tifa: would you shut up?your sounding like Mr.T.
(Sonic and Gex walk over.)
sonic:Hello!
Cloud (thinking)this guy does not sound like sonic.
Gex:Hi!is it tail time or what?
Cloud:(thinking) god! this guy IS dana gould! he has to be!
Announcer: would all contestants come to the stage,please?
chapter 3
(on stage)
announcer:now we will judge the contestants and have our big banquet.
Judges:pisst pisst..pisst pissit
Barret:get on wit' it,foo'!
Announcer:and the winners are...WHAT THE HELL???
(a portal opens in the sky.)
(Sephiroth jumps out)
all FF7:SEPHIROTH???
Jill and Claire:huh??
Gex:ahh! Dan Akroyd!!
Mario:Mama mia!
Chris and Leon:shit!dat aint Tyrant
(all resident evil guys pull out guns)
(tenka charges up his cannon)
Cloud:hey! my plastic buster sword!its melting!
(his cheap sword turns into the real ultima weapon)
Sonic:im leavin!!!!!!
(sonic runs away)
all:were turning into real video game charecters!!
AAHH!!
chapter 4
Cloud:sephiroth!
Sephy:..................
Vincent:no!im the silent one!!...............
Everyone:.............
Vincent:damn,seph.
(barret and vincent cock their guns,seph and cloud pull out swords,tifa puts up her fists Areis turns on her mithryl rod
yuffie pulled out her shirukin,caitsith warms up his voice cid
pulledout his spear,red 13 started to claw the ground,and the turks got their guns ready)
caitsith:lets kill him!
all:YEAH!!!
(sephi opens 2 portals and the RE2 ansd RE1 versions of Tyrant
pop out,plus rez,that boss from tenka,some leauge of pain guys,and bowser!!)
All:gee cripes!!!
Bowser:GGRROOWWLL!!!!
Tenka dude:bring it on.
Rez:you will be destroyed.
sephy:now meet MY pals.
battle whriting:
C-cloud S-sephy T-tifa A-areis Y-yuffie CS-caitsith CI-cid
13-red 13 R-reno RD-rude E-elenaV-vincent RE1-tyrant1
RE2-tyrant2 Rez-rez TD-tenka dude LOP-leauge of pain guys
Bow-bowser CH-chris L-leon J-jill CL-claire T-tenka G-gex M-mario
------------------------------------------------------------------------
CI-dragon dive,hit tyrant2
S-supernova-miss all
LOP-tackle,hit Reno
R-electro-mag-rod,hit the lop guys.
Y-all creation,hit Tenka dude
C-omnislash,hit bowser-kill
Bow-AAARRGGHHH!!!!!!
CH-uzi shot,miss
REZ-REZLASH,hit Leon
CL-LEON!!you knocked out my boyfreind,damn you!
CL long gatling gun blast,hit rez,kill
REZ:NNNOOO!!!!!!!!
T-FINAL HEAVEN-all hit-killed lop guys
M-hyper flame-hit tyrant 2-kill
all turks-handgun shot x10-killed tenka dude
TD-AAARRGGGHHH!!!
L-gets up
G-tail slash-hit sephy
CS-slots-toy soldier-hit sephy
A-Cure 3 cured Leon
S-supernova-hit mario
M-MMAAMMAA - MMIIAA!!!!
Red-cure3-cured mario
R-electromagrod-hit Sephy
C-omnislash-hit sephy-kill
battle end---------------------------------------------------
Sephy-Damn..Damn...Damn......no..
(cloud walks over)
Cloud: now,what do you want?????
Sephy:YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!
(sephy calls a huge meteor)
Yuffie:no! meteor!!
chapter 5
Tifa:no!!it cant be!!
barret:meteor!?!??!damn,wats this shit??
(cid pulls a grenade from his pocket)
Cid:ive wanted to use this for a long time.
Vincent:a hand grenade??
Cid:not just any grenade.a nuker.
Sephy: nuker!??!!?? SHIT!!!!!!
(cid throws it and it destroys meteor)
Sephy:NNOO!!!!
(sephy runs for a sec,then stops.)
(cloud slashes him right in the back.seph falls)
(cloud drives his sword throgh his body)
(sephy is dead.)
all:.............................................................................kewl!!
(they all cheer)
Cloud:thats that!!
the end!!!!!!!!!!!!