(AVALANCHE is driving down wutai in the buggy)
yuffie:are we there yet?
barret:hell no!
cait sith:are we there yet?
Cid:SHUT UP REEVE!
caitsith:okay.
Tifa:jeez.
Areis:hey,lookie! a karoke bar!
(sign is on turtles paradise "KAROKE NIGHT!")
vincent:cool.pull over,Cloud.
Cloud:sure
Barret:im not going to no ^%$#in'karoke bar,dammit!
Cloud:aww,comeon,Barret.
Barret:awight.this place better have my song,though.
(AVALANCHE walks in)
(4 figures are sitting in the corner,there is a big stage with mirrors all over the place)
yuffie:this place is freaking me out!!
(the TP owner walks on stage)
TP:who will be our next presenter??
Cid:(in phoney cloud voice) I will!
Cloud:hey!
TP:thank you! what's your name,sir?
(Cloud steps up on stage)
Cloud:uh..Cloud.
TP:ok,cloud,what's your song?
(cloud whispers into TP's ear)
TP:he says number 490!! the wallflowers!
(the intro to the song "heroes" quirks up)
Cloud:I...I wish I could swim.....like the dolphins,like dolphins can swim..
(sings the full song)
(cloud finishes.)
(TP walks back out)
TP:Excellent!A big hand for cloud!
(Areis claps)
TP:next please!
(tifa discovers that Barret and Vincent were talking through the song)
Tifa:what are you talking about??
Barret and vincent:NOTHING!!uhh...seriously...
(Tifa rolls her eyes in the back of her head)
TP:okay..next,please!
Cloud:(in phoney Cid voice) MEEE!!
Cid:^%$*! not meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
TP:get up here!
(cloud pushes cid)
Yuffie:oh,NO! Cids singing!! were gonna die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tifa:what are you talking about??
Caitsith:Cid's singing is so ROTTEN he makes dogs howl when he sings!
RED 13:oh god plug your ears!!
Cid:BOORRNN TTOO BBEEEE WWIIILLLDDDD!!!!
(Glass shattering)
Cid:GGEETT YYERR MMOOTTEERR RRUNNNIINN' HHEEAADD OUUTT OONNN TTHHEE HHIIWWAAAYY!!
Vincent:NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
(Dogs howling)
(TP shoots a traqluizer dart in Cid)
Cid:mommy.
(cid passes out)
TP:dont worry,its a 5-minite dart.
Cloud:Good.
TP:ok,next,please.
Areis:who are those shadowy figures?
(Da turx step from the shadows)
Caitsith:the turks!!
Elena:dont worry;we just wanna sing a little.
Caitsith:youd better.
Yuffie:hi reno.(winks)
Reno:hi yuffie(heart appears over their heads)
Tseng:hi Areis.(hearts in eyes)
Areis:hi Tseng.(smiles)
elena:GGRR...
TP:uuhh..next!!
Reno:oh,mememememeemememe pick me!
TP:okay,you.wats your name?
Reno:Reno..umm..#986
Rude:hi tifa:(hearts in eyes)
Tifa:Dream on flyboy.
(reno sings Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls)
Reno(singing)and id give up forever to touch you.or to know that ya feel me somehow.youre the closest to heaven ive ever been,and I dont wanna go home right now..
(surprisingly,reno ROCKS!)
(reno winks at yuffie)
(yuffie faints)
(reno finishes)
(TP wakes up)
TP:oh,er,excellent!
(Yuffie wakes up)
Yuffie:waddai miss?
(tifa discovers that Barret and Vincent were talking through the song.)
(cloud tries to sneak out)
(caitsith catches him)
caitsith:Oh,no ya dont!
Cloud:Doh!
TP:err..next please!
Areis:hey Tifa!psst.pst..ppsst......
Tifa:okay!
(tifa walks over to elena and tells her something)
Elena:sure!
Elena:hey,Yuf!
yuffie:what?
Elena:psst psst..pst!
Yuffie:ok!
TP:next please!
Elena,Tifa,Areis,Yuffie:US!
(E,T,A,and Y walk on stage)
elena:#37!
TP:All Saints!
(they sing "never ever")
allsaints2:never ever,ever,ever,ever felt so low ,when ya gonna take me outta this life form...
(Cloud,Tseng,sephiroth and Reno are standing there,bugeyed)
WAIT A SECOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SEPHIROTH??
Sephy:does this place serve Coffee?
everyone:phew!
(E,T,A and Y R done)
TP:you know the drill.NNEEXXTT!!
Sephy:(eating Donuts and drinking coffee)Gulp..slurp..uhh..me...*gulp*..
TP:okay you..whats yourSEPHIROTH???????!!!!!???!???!??!?!AAAHHH!!!!!RUN!!
Sephy:all I wanted was a coffee..?
Barret Now dat dat Shit's Gone,Lets Jus' Get Outta Here!
Cloud:Fine with me
Yuffie:me too..
Caitsith:me three..
all:SHUT UP!!!!!!
CS:okay.
Sephy:oh yea.before I go I gotta do this.
(stabs Areis)
Cloud:AREIS!
Tifa:YYEESSS!!!!Now Cloud is mine!!
(tseng runs over)
Tseng:AREIS!!!!!!!NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vincent:(slaps him in the back of the head) Snap out of it man...AND SHUT THE HELL UP!
Tseng(Crying)NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!
Sephy:would you shut up? im trying to eat.
(seph stabs Tseng)
Elena:NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Rude:not again...
(AVALANCHE,Reno and Rude Sneak out)
(Slicing is heard)
Reno:ow.poor Elena.
Cid:(wakes up)uhh..stupid author.
(chadileir falls on Cid's Head)
Yuffie:good. he's dead.
Cid:im not dead!!
(cait bams him on the head)
-Fin- well,almost....
epilogue------
(Barret and Vincent are on stage)
Vincent:so you were wondering what me and Barret were taking about,huh?
Barret:yea,foo'! he-
vincent:I talked him into doing this.
Barret:here yo'is.
Barret& Vincent:THE ENDDDDDDDD!!!