Selphie: Ewwwwww!! What the hell smells so bad? Zell is it you again?
Zell: (Blushes wildly) Noooo...I don't think so.
Squall: (Staring deeply into Rinoa's eyes) Shut up, you two are ruining the romantic mood!!
Selphie and Zell: Sorry Squall.
A few hours later the smell gets even worse. The three people on the floor slowly begin to gag.
Quistis: There's diffently something rotten in this house.
Selphie: I vote on Zell!!
Zell: I vote on Selphie!!
Quistis: Its not coming from either of the directions you guys are sitting in.
Rinoa: (Pulling herself out of Squall's arm's) Hey, I think it's the Christmas Tree!!
Squall: (Reaching for Rinoa) How can a tree smell?
Zell: If you let it go without water for as long as we all have, I bet it can.
Selphie: Irvine, how can you stand near that awful smelling tree?
Irvine: (Looking all wide-eyed and innocent) Cuz it's my tree, and I love it. I've never had a Christmas tree before.
Quistis: (Looks at the rotting tree in disgust) But Irvine, that tree is all brown and rotten, plus it's stinking up the whole freakin house!!
Irvine: (Pouting) I don't care, it's my tree and I love it!! (Irvine stands up and hugs the tree, ignoring all the needles that scratch his face)
Zell: Has Irvine totally lost it?
Squall: (Appears infront of Irvine with an ax) That horrible thing is gonna become fire wood in a minute!!
Irvine: (Jumps to his feet hands out infront of him) Noooo!! Squall leave it alone!!
Selphie: We can't keep the tree forever Irvine, it's already dead. There's nothing you can do about it.
Irvine: (Taking sissy swings at Squall who still holds the ax) I don't care Selphie it's my tree!! I'm gonna keep it forever!!
Rinoa: (Gets tired of watching Irvine slap Squall, so she rushes up and swiftly kicks him in the balls, Irvine doubles over in pain) Now Squall!! While he's down!!
Squall raises the ax above his head, but as he's about to swing at it a voice calls out:
Voice: Hold it right there!! That tree is mine!!
Everyone, including Squall, stops what their doing and turns towards the voice.
Quistis: (Looking shocked) Seifer!! What are you doing here!?
Seifer: (Smileing proudly) I've come for my tree.
Zell: (Raising his fists) What the @#$% would you want a useless tree for!!
Irvine: (Slowly standing up) It is not useless!!
Seifer: (Staring straight at Squall) That "tree" is the most powerful Guardian Force on Earth!! And I plan to us it to kill you pansy's!!
Selphie: (Wide-eyed) You mean that hunk of shit is a Guardian Force!?
Seifer: (Nodding) The most powerful one on Earth.
Selphie, Rinoa, Quistis, and Zell all exchange looks before diving at the tree.
Quistis: It's my tree I took care of it the most!!
Zell: No you didn't I did!!
Selphie: It's mine I take out the least HP of you all so I need it most!!
Rinoa: (Looks at Squall before turning back to her friends) I can have Squall kill you all, so back off!!
Seifer: (Storms right past Squall, and bats off everyone else to get to the tree) The Guardian Force is mine you mother @#$%'s!!
Irvine grabs the ax from Squall and smacks Seifer in the back of the head with the handle. Seifer's eyes roll up into his head and he collaspes on the ground.
Irvine: (Very pissed) Don't you dare touch my tree!!
Squall: (Looking completely stunned) Irvine you almost killed Seifer!!
Quistis: (Stands up and brushes herself off) What are we going to do with him now?
Zell: (Hops carelessly to his feet) I have a good idea!!
Several months later, Squall and Rinoa are back on the sofa together. Quistis, Selphie, and Zell are still on the floor. Irvine is back sitting infront of the tree, staring spell bound at the top.
Selphie: (Covering her mouth and nose) Well the whole house smells like shit, but I must admit the tree still looks beautiful!!
Quistis: (Doing the same thing as Selphie) Yeah, the new tree topper looks great!!
Zell: (Wearing a gas mask) I told you it was a good idea!!
Rinoa: Irvine, can we ever get rid of the tree?
Irvine: Maybe in a year or two!!
Everyone in the room but Irvine groans.
Seifer: (Tied tightly to the top of the tree, and hanging upside down) Hey!! When can I come down from here!?
Squall: (Laughing) Never!! You look good up there!!
Everyone in the room laugh's and points at Seifer. Seifer frowns at them all and continues to hang on Irvine's Christmas tree, until the FF8 gang forgets about it and he ends up in the back of a Garbage Truck.
The End!!